Small Love Gestures that Keep a Relationship Going Strong.
You may have seen the catchphrase, “It’s the small moments that make life big,” plastered in a sentimental scrapbook or posted beside a baby photo on social media.
But have you ever taken the time to think carefully about the truth behind this statement?
We often work, labor, and stress to achieve great moments: a vacation, a college degree, or a great milestone.
But we don’t take the time to realize that each everyday experience with our friends, spouses, and children are the stuff of life.
The love dare is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love.
It’s the small love gestures that keep any relationship going good.
Show you care by asking about their day. You can ask as soon as they get home or over dinner.
Do a simple online search for conversation starters for couples, then bring those questions into your daily life.
Here’s a link to 100 questions that every couple needs in their relationship – the questions were specifically designed to build trust, openness, and eventually feelings of deep intimacy.
Don’t just rotate in the same ruts that you’ve always used.
Try to bring in new topics of conversation and learn something new about your spouse every day.
Asking your partner about their day is a small love gesture that shows that you care.
#4. Surprise Your Partner With gifts As a Love Gesture
Listen to your spouse’s conversation and try to tune into the small nuances that provide clues to the things they like and dislike.
Then surprise them with gifts “just because.” It will bring a smile to your spouse’s face.
Meaningful gift ideas include flowers, gourmet chocolates, special cookies, perfumes/colognes, or anything that can make their day special.
Essential oils – EO, is not a woman’s only thing anymore.
Reach out and make the first move. Show your spouse you care and want to connect.
#7. Create Daily Rituals In Your Relationship
Every relationship should have rhythms and patterns of connection.
These patterns lend stability to relationships.
Check-in every morning over coffee. Hold hands and pray. Call each other at lunchtime and check-in.
Take time each week to go over that week’s schedule and pray together over your week.
Doing your rituals on a regular, recurring basis will help you and your spouse feel safe.
Becky Bailey calls these rituals of connection, “I Love You Rituals.”
She says that “I Love You Rituals” contains four ingredients: playfulness, simple touch, presence, and gentle eye contact.
While most of her I Love You Rituals are geared for adults connecting with children, partners can incorporate the same principles into their interactions with one another.
Are you truly present with your spouse during that quick kiss? Do you touch them gently, look fondly into their eyes, and express playfulness and joy?
It’s these little things that matter.
#8. Respond To Your Spouse’s “Bids.”
Dr. Steve Call says that couples are constantly sending out “bids” for attention.
“Dating for the Socially Awkward: Overcome social anxiety and gain the confidence to get the girl you desire” by Jouhzu, is a total self-improvement journey.
The thought of being with your crush brings you feelings of excitement, yet the idea of initiating things with them brings feelings of discomfort and dread.
You’ve had opportunity after opportunity to approach your dream girl and ask her out, but each time you find yourself stumbling over your words, unable to truly articulate your attraction to her.
•If you lack self-confidence out of fear, then this will keep you believing in yourself and help you in attracting a great partner.
Asking a girl out is a challenge for many men. The fear and anxiety of rejection is enough to make a man do without a woman he really cares for.
There’s no foolproof guide on how to ask the girl of your dreams on a date.
You have to try different approaches.
We are all blessed with a unique combination of qualities, preferences, and social styles; there simply can’t be one perfect way of approaching someone.
This post is not meant to be a rule book, but rather a collection of tips you can use to better yourself and your mindset when approaching the woman of your heart.
Let’s dive into some of the tips you can utilize to approach your dream girl and probably land a date.
#1. Know Your value
The first tip on how to approach your dream girl is to know yourself and your value.
One thing a man must strive to have before they approach anything in life is a sense of self-worth.
In order to confidently approach a woman, you must know you have something valuable to bring to the table.
You may not have all the money in the world or may not be the most popular guy in the room, but these are not things that make a person, and limit a person to external validation.
The only person’s validation you require is God’s and your own.
You are more than money or status, you are filled with kindness, valor, and intelligence, and much more!
When you understand you possess a combination of unique God-given qualities, you realize you are more than enough for your dream girl.
When you become secure in the fact that you have so much to offer, the thought of initiating a date with the woman of your dreams seems less daunting.
Women appreciate a man that is sure of himself and his God-given strengths-it’s an indication of the great partner he’ll be.
An additional word of advice though, there is a thin line between arrogance and confidence.
Being sure of yourself does not mean you should forget about the importance of being humble.
Humility and Confidence work hand in hand.
#2. Be Observant
Most people, whether it’s a man or a woman, appreciate when they feel someone took the time to notice little things about them.
Being observant to detail is another tip on how to approach your dream girl.
Whether you take note of how she takes her coffee in the morning, her favorite past time, or the genre of music she loves to listen to, using the knowledge you gain can go a long way.
A woman is most likely not going to be impressed solely by your attraction for her.
Instead, she’ll appreciate the fact that you delved beyond that attraction and endeavored to get to know her as a person.
Strike up a conversation about her favorite song or ask a question about the book she’s reading.
This is an almost sure way of communicating your interest in her without focusing solely on physical attraction.
Paying attention to details can also serve as a great way to get ideas for that date you want to ask her on.
Imagine that after careful observation, you notice your crush loves art.
Asking her out to an art museum or a painting class would be met with much more interest and enthusiasm than if you blindly suggested something else.
#3. Form a Friendship
Forming a solid friendship is another tip on how to approach your dream girl.
I know, I know. You probably rolled your eyes when you read that.
Why would you set yourself up for the awful, dreaded, friend zone? However, the key to a successful relationship is a strong friendship.
• Oprah Love Expert Reveals the Secrets For You To Have the Relationship of Your Dreams.
Earlier, we discussed how being observant could help put you in the position to ask your dream girl on a date.
Some aspects of a person, though, can’t be inferred from observation so much as it can from the regular conversation.
By forming a friendship with your potential date, you stand the chance of really getting to know her.
And by getting to know her, you increase your chances of landing a date.
There’re even more advantages to forming a friendship with your crush: A friendship tears down walls and creates comfort.
Remember when you first met your ideal woman and how hard it was to form complete sentences around her?
Maybe with time, it got a little easier to say a few words, although the thought of asking her on a date still makes you anxious.
With time and continued proximity, you got a little more comfortable.
Imagine if you two formed a friendship. That type of bond would definitely make you feel more comfortable around her and allow you to be yourself.
When we approach each other in a climate of friendship, we do not have the pressure to be accepted or rejected.
•She gets to learn more about you.
Friendship is not only an opportunity for you to learn more about your dream partner, but also an avenue for her to get to know you.
Perhaps you have common interests or admirable strengths.
Perhaps you have quirks or mannerisms that she could find adorable.
A friendship is an opportunity to present who you are without the added pressure to perform. It’s an organic, healthy way of allowing all aspects of you to shine.
•You get to see if there is actual compatibility.
For the longest, you’ve admired your crush from afar.
You’ve observed some things, had a few conversations here and there, but every interaction has been only on the surface.
You don’t know enough about her to gauge whether you’re genuinely a match.
While dating is a way to gauge if there is an affinity for one another, a friendship does the same, but with an added benefit- there is no pressure.
When you decide to pursue a genuine friendship, you don’t have to worry about performing or making grand gestures that may not be organic.
#4. Show Her The Respect She Deserves
Romans 12:10 says to “Love one another with brotherly affection.”
It is essential to treat all of our fellow humans with respect, and this extends to your dream girl or woman you want in your life as well.
In a world full of patriarchy and misogyny, women don’t always get the respect they deserve.
Unfortunately, some women end up with dates and partners who also won’t extend that respect.
The number one way to turn a woman off is to show clear disrespect for her and her boundaries.
Without love, the woman reacts without respect, and without respect, the man reacts without love. This initiates a painful and negative cycle in any relationship.
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ book on love and respect is a great resource for anyone interested in a long-lasting relationship.
While this can get you the date, you’ve wanted, it can have disastrous results as well.
In his book “No Excuses,” Dr. Tony Evans “urges men to stop looking at their circumstances as excuses and instead to see them as challenges and opportunities for success.”
Be a man of honesty and integrity, and you will attract the woman of your dreams!
#6. Invite Her To Church
One way to get a good woman to gravitate towards you is to include her in personal activities that don’t have an air of expectation.
One great way to form a friendship and easing communication between you and your crush is to invite them to church with you.
It can be something more intimate such as a bible study, or it could be a mid-week or a Sunday service.
Maybe you could connect over your mutual love for similar worship styles.
Or perhaps the pastor’s topic of the day could strike up a deep conversation.
Most importantly, inviting her to something personal and intimate like a church is an excellent way of communicating how important she is to you.
You wouldn’t invite just anyone to church with you, to be amongst you and the people you fellowship with.
This is a great segue to asking her out because when you do, she’ll know it’s not just a superficial date you’re asking for; you really want to connect with her on a deeper level.
#7. Communicate Clearly
Always work on being the best communicator you can.
When you do get around to asking your dream girl on a date, it will take clear communication so she can have a good idea of what your intentions are.
Good communication is one of the things that keeps a relationship intact.
Whether you strike up an initial friendship or simply ask her out, good communication is key.
Sometimes, being an excellent communicator is hard for people because of the amount of vulnerability it entails.
Most people have a fear of opening up themselves to rejection or being the subject of negative judgment, so they tend to avoid directly communicating their wants, feelings, or thoughts to protect themselves.
Unfortunately, there is no set way of avoiding rejection or negative judgment.
When you open yourself up to someone, you’re taking a risk. However, the potential gains from clear communication greatly outweigh the potential losses.
Communicating clearly ties back to your security in who you are as a person.
When you are confident in who you are and know your value, it’s easier to put yourself in a vulnerable position.
Regardless of the outcome, you know that you are a man of valor, and any woman would be lucky to go on a date with you.
If they accept it, excellent. If they don’t, it’s their loss.
A good woman will have a deep appreciation for a man who is willing to go out on a limb to communicate his intent and feelings.
Don’t hesitate to communicate clearly. Be true to yourself and to what you feel in your heart.
#8. Just Do it- Ask her out!
Your dream girl could end up being your soulmate.
She could end up being the partner that God created for you.
Marriage Advice Every Newly Married Couple Must Know.
Christian Couples with 31+ years of Happy, Healthy, Successful experience share 31 Lessons learned in Marriage.
Let’s explore some of their best Christian marriage advice for newlyweds!
Through the happy days of romance, love warms you, fills you, and lifts you to new heights.
Congratulations on your new wedding!
Marriage mirrors God’s relationship with His people.
Successful marriages require way more than physical attraction, love, and common interests.
Like the torch in a hot air balloon, romantic love gives you the thrill of seeing your loved one from 10,000 feet as your love soars.
Once the marriage begins, however, the rubber meets the road.
The hot air balloon lands. Reality sets in.
The daily walk together, on the ground, is about to begin.
Here are 31 must know practical, Christian marriage advice for newlyweds that will help you through the new, daily journey that you are beginning with your spouse.
Use this proven best biblical marriage advice for newlyweds to build a strong foundation for your relationship.
Marriage God’s Way is a Biblical Recipe for Healthy, Joyful, Christ-Centered Relationships.
“Many conflicts would be effectively avoided if you do your best to get to learn about each other,” is one marriage advice for newlyweds from a lady married for 32 years.
Build on the special bond between two of you and strive to be each others BFF.
Adjusting to living with each other initially may be difficult.
It is necessary and essential to patiently understand your spouse to avoid even the smallest conflicts that could erupt into bigger ones.
An excellent tool for learning about your spouse is taking a personality test.
A personality test is aimed at improving interpersonal relationships, and promoting positive attitudes towards people who are different, in the areas of understanding, appreciation and respect.
Tests like DISC, Enneagram personality test assessments, 16 Personalities tests, Nanaya, the 5 love languages, or the Gothman Institute’s Relationship Quiz are some tests you can try.
They can help you get started in discovering new realities about your spouse.
What activities energize your spouse? It’s better to know for real than to guess.
Dr. Gottman, the country’s foremost relationship expert, talks about nurturing fondness and admiration in the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
Make sure you bring these topics out into the open as soon as possible in the relationship and have a plan in these areas.
Adjusting and willing to compromise here and there will help reduce a lot of fighting in making sure household chores are completed; marriage advice for newlyweds from Liz married close to 32 years.
5. Learn About Perpetual Conflicts
The topic of chores is an area that the Gottman Institute would label as a solvable conflict.
If you discuss this issue with clarity and compassion and come to a mutual compromise, the topic can be easily solved.
But The Gottman Institute provides food for thought when it says that some types of conflicts are not solvable.
While solvable conflicts are simple logistical challenges or differences of opinion that can be fixed by discussing them,
unsolvable problems are clashes between personalities or values that will come up over and over and will never truly go away except with divine intervention.
He recommends “humor, affection, and even amusement, to actively cope with the unresolvable problem, rather than allowing it to fall into the condition of gridlock.”
Dr. Dan Allender, a prominent Christian therapist says that couples must have “a loyal commitment to a zero-contempt relationship. No matter the issue, no matter its importance, contempt must be viewed as dangerous as lighting a match to look into a gas tank.”
8. Be Proactive About Conflicts
Dr. Allender goes on, “Contempt arises like smoke from the fire of shame.”
Shame is the fire and contempt is the smoke, and you will need to develop a “smoke detector” in your marriage.
Meet proactively at least once a week to discuss issues, hurts, sins, conflicts, and things that have been unsaid that need to be addressed.
Make sure these issues are detected early, while they are still small and healthy.
Try to uncover feelings of inadequacy before they explode into an incendiary.
James 5:16 – Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.
According to author Gary Thomas, in “Sacred Marriage” “We have to stop asking of marriage what God never designed it to give — perfect happiness, conflict-free living, and idolatrous obsession.”
Instead, he invites us to see how God can use marriage as a discipline and a motivation to love God more and reflect more on the character of His Son, together as a couple.
9. Trust And Respect Each Other Including Each Other’s Space
“A marriage without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it as long as you want, but it won’t go anywhere.” -Unknown
No relationship can thrive without trust and respect.
Your spouse should be confident that they are with someone they can completely trust and confide their feelings, thoughts, worries, and concerns to.
Married couples are one flesh and joined together in Christ for life, therefore they should understand what respecting boundaries is early in the relationship.
Yet at the same time, they are also individually created children of God.
Your spouse may need time to be alone with God or just to reflect, decompress, or relax.
Allow your spouse some space and don’t seek to manipulate or demand every minute of his or her time.
Philippians 2:3-4 reminds us, “In humility consider others more important than yourselves. Each of you should look at not only your own interests, but also at the interests of others.”
The bible says we are to “Do unto others as you want them to do unto you.”
In other words, this means that you treat your spouse in the same way you would want to be treated.
Respectable boundaries in your marriage, foster trust and belief.
“Respecting your spouse includes not saying bad things or discussing them with other people, friends, family, co-workers, and others” – another marriage advice for newlyweds from Laura – married for 34 years.
10. Don’t Let Marriage Become An Idol
The thrill and closeness that marriage can bring are meant to be a breathtaking picture of our special relationship with Christ.
At the same time, we can’t begin to assume that marriage itself is our relationship with Christ or that our spouse is our god or ultimate focus.
“Our spouse is not our ultimate place of fulfillment,” stated another lady with 40 years marriage experience on biblical advice for newly weds.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer encourages Christians to be careful not to make human love an end in itself.
He describes the dangerous thinking patterns of idolatrous love: “Nothing, not even the truth, must come between” the two lovers.
The only goal of life, to which everything else must bend, is “the other person, his company, his answering love.”
When we think like this, our relationship is unhealthy and in danger.
11. Get Excited About God’s Work In Your Spouse
In the middle of daily stresses and conflicts that come with jobs, careers, housework, chores, and kids, it can be easy to lose sight of the beauty of what Christ is doing in your spouse’s life.
Try to catch a glimpse of the exciting work God is doing.
The similarity in beliefs, goals, and objectives are virtues in any relationship, but it’s good for any spouse to appreciate any positive attitude or change towards a greater knowledge of Christ by the other spouse.
Trust the ways God can change your spouse!
12. Pray Together
As children of God, one of the most important things you can do with your new spouse is to talk to your Heavenly Father together.
Short Daily devotionals with bible passages will sometimes encourage couples to pray together.
Newly married couples must know that relationships have plenty of bumps along the way, and prayer is the shock absorber that helps make the journey a little less difficult.
Practically, try going on a prayer walk together. Hold hands and pray.
Colossians 4:2 instructs us to “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” ESV
Start the morning with prayer. End the day with prayer. A family that prays together stays together, they say.
Pray about fears, difficulties, conflicts, and decisions. Surprise each other by calling to pray together.
Make prayer a part of your everyday experience with your spouse.
The Bible agrees that when people pray together their petitions are heard by God: Matthew 18:19: “Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.”
13. Pray For Each Other
Similar to the last point, this point emphasizes an important lesson learned in marriage.
Prayer is a powerful tool to touch the heart of your spouse—and to change your own heart in the process.
In moments of conflicts or discord, your knee-jerk reaction may be rehashing the situation in your mind or with your words.
Instead of mulling, try turning to Christ with the conflict. Pray for your spouse.
This is probably the best marriage advice for newlyweds.
In his book, Life Together, Bonhoeffer said we should “speak to Christ more about a brother than to a brother about Christ.”
In other words, talk to God about your spouse even more than you talk to your spouse about problems, issues, or concerns.
Bring your spouse’s hopes, dreams, failures, sins, and struggles to the Lord in prayer.As you do, you may see that God wants to change you as well.
14. Compliment One Another
Go out of your way to express thankfulness for your spouse.
Speak words of gratefulness directly to your husband or wife, and intentionally speak well of them to others within their earshot.
Keeping a gratitude journal about your spouse will help you have compliments at your fingertips. Writing a thank you heartfelt sweet note, a gift or card are simple ways of expressing thankfulness.
Even before your children are born, create traditions, rituals, and habits of celebration for your household.
Special surprise or moment on a birthday morning, an Advent chain counting down the days to Christmas, caroling to neighbors,
taking walks together or getting up by candlelight on Christmas morning are simple acts that can help bond your new family together.
Start by combining holiday traditions from your families of origin.
Then brainstorm and research ideas to form new traditions of your very own.
16. Look For Ways To Serve
Doing dishes, filling glasses of water, checking the doors at night, balancing the checkbook, fueling, washing, and maintaining the car are simple ways to show your spouse you care.
Decide to fix breakfast so that your partner could sleep longer.
Have the mindset that you are a team and you are in this together and find ways to intentionally serve each other.
But what about more descriptive acts?
We can imitate Christ’s self-giving love when we do distasteful tasks such as cleaning the bathroom, dealing with rodents and insects, or fixing the plumbing.
17. Forgive Early And Often
Couples who have been married for many years share lessons they have learned in their marriage.
They all say that forgiveness is a very important and practical aspect of a long-lasting marriage relationship.
Every human being has the capacity to sin.
In any marriage, even the most peaceful, couples will definitely sin against each other.
As Christians, we do not grant our spouse forgiveness because they deserve it, but as an act of mercy and grace covered by unconditional love.
It is very important that you continually forgo the hurts you go through caused by your spouse and resolve to start the relationship afresh.
One of the most important lessons newly married couple must grasp is forgiveness.It’s better to forgive quickly rather than holding on to a grudge.
And it’s better to assume the best and forgive as a knee-jerk reaction rather than assuming the worst.
18. Confess When You Are Wrong
Confession is often very hard but very necessary.
A seasoned spouse shares, “If I am wrong, I have to say so. Staying angry or insisting on my own rights is not an option. Over the years, this has been a struggle, but practice does make it come a little easier and more quickly.”
Dr. Bonnie Badenoch explains that couples become more resilient every time they work to repair a “break in connection.”
Couples who have worked to repair their broken bonds can actually feel closer after the reconciliation than before the conflict happened.
Early in your marriage, seek to clarify common goals, values, dreams, and desires.
When your family has joint goals and you are all working together to meet them, a special bond will be created.
20. Managing Careers
As you create joint goals, seek to understand your spouse’s independent career goals.
How can you work to help your spouse succeed in their career?
How can you each support each other in your individual goals and dreams?
Make sure to clarify early in your marriage the role that careers will play in your lives.
Prioritize spending time together outside of work.
Work together to establish work schedules that are best for your union.
Be an encourager to your spouse. Be their best cheerleader.
21. Start Investigating Child-Rearing
Couples may imagine that they will have years to get to know each other, pursue careers, and casually learn about child-rearing before children will arrive on the scene.
But some couples are surprised by how quickly God sends little ones into their lives and families.
Start right away to define your shared values regarding child-rearing.
Research different issues related to raising children, and be clear about your shared values in this area.
Get genuine advice from your wise parents, especially mothers and trusted friends who have been there.
22. Be Proactive In Your Relationship With God
A couple who has been married for forty years shares a lesson learned in marriage.
They say, “We emphasize the centrality of God and Scriptures to our home and life.
We try to let God’s words be continually in our mouths and to talk of them when we sit in our house, when we walk by the way, when we lie down, and when we rise up.
We spend time reading God’s word privately and together, and also work on hiding God’s word in our hearts through memorization.”
One of the best biblical advice for newlyweds is to read His word together. The word of God has positive impact in changing hearts and keeping people humble.
23. Be Careful About Expectations
Young couples often enter marriage with rosy-colored dreams and great expectations for their marriage, life, and relationship.
Mike Bechtle shares, “When we have expectations of what needs to happen, we’ll usually be disappointed.”
Instead of forming unrealistic expectations that will later be broken, he encourages couples to “replace expectations with expectancy.”
Filled with expectancy for what God will do in our relationship, we can free ourselves from unreasonable expectations and demands.
24. Express Healthy Curiosity
Be curious about your spouse’s day, experiences, feelings, job, or childhood.
Ask questions and seek to understand.
Even during challenging conversations, allow your mind to be curious about what your spouse might be thinking or feeling.
Wonder out loud or silently about the feelings or experiences that may be causing the words or reactions that your spouse is portraying.
Decide together how to manage any student loans, credit card debts, paying house bills, etc.
Have a clear understanding of how to manage bank accounts, whether joint or separate accounts or both.
Who will be responsible for actually paying the bills after the funds are apportioned?
What about your parents? Would they need help? Decide how you will accommodate extended family expenses if applicable.
Remember, it’s no longer MY money, it’s now OUR money.
27. Remember The Events That Are Important To Your Spouse
To some newlyweds, it is extremely important that their spouse remember the one-month anniversary of their marriage and the one-year anniversary of their first date or their engagement or other dates that are special.
Do your best to set a reminder on your phone so you will not forget these important days.Marriage advice for newlyweds from Linda – 36 years in marriage.
When the anniversary rolls around, respond with a simple card, back rub, flowers, words of appreciation, or another gift that would be meaningful to your spouse.
Keep in mind holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries of deaths or traumas your spouse may have experienced.
Be extra gentle on those days and seek ways to encourage your spouse.
28. Talk About Your Spiritual Life
Deuteronomy 6:7 says to talk about God’s word “when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed, and when you are getting up.”
To some people, it may seem very personal to talk about your spiritual journey with your spouse.
But talking about God together will help you stay accountable and will help you grow in your closeness to God and each other.
Talk about the church you will be attending and how involved you are going to be. This marriage advice for newlyweds should be agreed on before you start having children. It’s very important for families to worship together.
Know preachers your spouse likes to listen to, what songs they like, and sometimes just watch or listen together.
29. Talk To Your Spouse About Your Temptations
This may seem counterintuitive, but Laurie Krieg emphasizes the importance of talking to your spouse about your temptations.
Rather than pulling away in shame or fear, come to your spouse and start to talk.
This frank, straight-to-the-point, and practical book is a perfect must -read resource with tons of marriage advice for newlyweds and engaged couples.
To avoid sexual immorality, sex should be frequent and mutual.
1 Corinthians 7:5 – Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
No matter what your schedules are, make this an IMPORTANT aspect of your marriage and when you partake, let it be special, no hurry, and let it be a mix of however you both like it!
Sex should be honored, cherished, and enjoyed as a gift from God and moreover, you should not be ashamed to express yourself.
In conclusion, proactively implementing this marriage advice for newlyweds and always being open, intentionally and responsibly willing to work on your relationship can help newlywed couples build a lasting, strong, and satisfying relationship.