Categories
Family Marriage Relationships

Small Love Gestures That Keep A Relationship Going Strong

SMALL LOVE GESTURES Small Love Gestures that Keep a Relationship Going Strong.

You may have seen the catchphrase, “It’s the small moments that make life big,” plastered in a sentimental scrapbook or posted beside a baby photo on social media.

But have you ever taken the time to think carefully about the truth behind this statement?

We often work, labor, and stress to achieve great moments: a vacation, a college degree, or a great milestone.

But we don’t take the time to realize that each everyday experience with our friends, spouses, and children are the stuff of life.

The love dare is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love.

It’s the small love gestures that keep any relationship going good.

You may also like Best Christian marriage advice for newlyweds: 16+ tips.

Without the little things, the big achievements will have no significance.

Here are some small love gestures and tips you can put in practice every day to show your spouse or partner that you love them.

These are proven strategies that can work no matter what season your relationship is going through.

You may also like the 4 seasons of marriage: secrets to a lasting marriage.

These small love gestures don’t take a lot of time or money.

Some of them just take a second or two of your time but have lasting positive effects on your relationship.

They can help you and your spouse weather through the fall and winter seasons of marriage. 

They can have a monumental effect to bond you and your spouse together as one happy couple.

Do you know what your partner’s love language is? Find out here.

Let’s look at some of the best simple love gestures that can keep a marriage going strong.

#1. Simple Smile

SMILE -SMALL LOVE GESTURES

A simple smile is one of the small gestures for a happier relationship.

Dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin -AKA “happiness hormones” are all released when you smile.

These happiness hormones are associated with stress reduction, bonding, and relaxation.

A smile can have a powerful effect on your happiness and on your relationships.

One source says that more feel-good chemicals are released from a single smile than when receiving a large sum of money.

Give your partner a simple smile.

It’s a simple, painless, and free way to improve your quality of life. Show that you are truly happy to see him or her. Take the time to smile.

It’s the small things that matter. A Heartfelt smile is a small love gesture that can get the best out of your partner.

You may also like 12 best secrets to a long-lasting relationship.

#2. Say Thank you. Appreciate your Mate

thank you -small love gesture

 A married couple with nearly forty years of experience shares that one of the most meaningful small things in their marriage was thankfulness.

The husband thanked his wife for the daily chores and small tasks she performed for the family.

Every day, he thanked her for the delicious meals she created.

By example, they taught their children to cultivate a habit of thankfulness.

Saying thank you is another example of small love gestures that make a big difference.

#3. Ask Questions 

Ask questions instead of making assumptions.

Engage your spouse in a meaningful conversation.

Show you care by asking about their day. You can ask as soon as they get home or over dinner.

Do a simple online search for conversation starters for couples, then bring those questions into your daily life.

Here’s a link to 100 questions that every couple needs in their relationship – the questions were specifically designed to build trust, openness, and eventually feelings of deep intimacy.

Don’t just rotate in the same ruts that you’ve always used.

Try to bring in new topics of conversation and learn something new about your spouse every day.

Asking your partner about their day is a small love gesture that shows that you care.

#4. Surprise Your Partner With gifts As a Love Gesture

Surprise -small love gestures

Listen to your spouse’s conversation and try to tune into the small nuances that provide clues to the things they like and dislike.

Then surprise them with gifts “just because.” It will bring a smile to your spouse’s face.

Meaningful gift ideas include flowers, gourmet chocolates, special cookies, perfumes/colognes, or anything that can make their day special.

Essential oils – EO, is not a woman’s only thing anymore.

Men love them too! Essential oils are great gift ideas. Topped with a classy diffuser and a pure organic carrier.

Hmmm, these can really spice things up.

#5. Show Your Spouse You Are Thinking of Them

Sometimes the most powerful small love gestures include showing that someone that you are thinking about them.

You can surprise her by having lunch delivered to her job. You can out of the blues, prepare his favorite dish.

A Chocolatier Gold Ballotin is always a good gift idea.

Just sacrifice a little to make them feel special.

Even if your spouse does not respond, send him or her a text during the day, letting them know you are thinking of them and praying for them.

Remember the events that your spouse has scheduled for the day, and ask how those things are going.

#6. Simple Touch

SMALL TOUCH

Simple touch means a brief, playful touch that brings connection.

Pat their shoulder, caress their hair, do a special handshake, or give a brief kiss or hug.

Do these rituals daily to enrich your life.

RELATED: How do I make my relationship stay strong – 16 Ways.

Reach out and make the first move. Show your spouse you care and want to connect.

#7. Create Daily Rituals In Your Relationship

Every relationship should have rhythms and patterns of connection.

These patterns lend stability to relationships.

Check-in every morning over coffee. Hold hands and pray. Call each other at lunchtime and check-in.

Take time each week to go over that week’s schedule and pray together over your week.

Doing your rituals on a regular, recurring basis will help you and your spouse feel safe.

 Becky Bailey calls these rituals of connection, “I Love You Rituals.”

She says that “I Love You Rituals” contains four ingredients: playfulness, simple touch, presence, and gentle eye contact.

While most of her I Love You Rituals are geared for adults connecting with children, partners can incorporate the same principles into their interactions with one another.

Are you truly present with your spouse during that quick kiss? Do you touch them gently, look fondly into their eyes, and express playfulness and joy?

It’s these little things that matter.

#8. Respond To Your Spouse’s “Bids.”

Dr. Steve Call says that couples are constantly sending out “bids” for attention.

Here’s a link to Dr. Calls’ “reconnect: insights and tools for cultivating meaningful connection in your marriage.”

Like a slight nose-scratch or cough from a bidder at an auction, some of these bids are subtle and hard to notice.

Nonetheless, spouses are constantly asking one another for connection in small ways.

It’s important to notice and respond positively to your spouse’s bid for attention.

If they hint at going out to eat, taking a walk, chatting about the day, or playing a board game, make sure you don’t brush off this small invitation.

Notice their “bid” for attention and respond with kindness.

If you’re not available right then, make sure you schedule another time when the two of you could connect.

If you make a habit of dismissing or ignoring your spouse’s bids, she or he may stop asking, and your relationship will suffer.

You may also like How do I make my relationship stay strong – 16 Ways.

#9. Give Them Wildflowers

WILDFLOWERS - SMALL LOVE GESTURE

How about finding a small bouquet of lovely sweet peas, daisies, trumpet vine, or daffodils?

Wildflowers are a small but significant way to add beauty and love to your spouse’s life.

Even if not expensive, a small love gesture like this shows your spouse that you took time and effort to show them that you care about them.

Wildflowers are another example of small things that matter.

#10. Say “I Love You.”

LOVE GESTURES

Sometimes we assume that others know that we love them. But the words matter.

Many songs have been written on the importance of verbalizing our love.

Sometimes, we realize too late that we should have been more diligent about speaking love out loud.

Ron Hamilton’s song reminds us, “Life is but a vapor, quickly vanishing away.

Wait until tomorrow and your change may flee away.

Give a fragrant flower while its beauty still can charm. Give a kiss to warm the longing heart.

Say ‘I love you’ while the heart can feel. Say ‘I love you’ while the heat can heal.

Make a heart rejoice, give your love a voice. Speak the words while you can say ‘I love you.’”

The Bible says it’s the little things that matter. “For who has despised the day of small things?” God asks in Zechariah 4:10.

God says that the tiny mustard seed can grow into a giant tree (Mark 4:10).

A tiny bit of yeast can spread through an entire lump of dough (Matthew 13:33).

On the flip side, a tiny negative word of anger or hatred can spread, causing great destruction and devastation (James 3:5).

It’s worth our time to make sure that the small moments in marriage are healthy, beautiful, and nurturing to our spouse.

It’s not the heart-stopping moments of romance, the breathtaking honeymoon destinations, or the great accomplishments that make a marriage successful.

Without small moments of love and daily tenderness, any marriage or relationship quickly becomes difficult and suffocating.

Take time today to cultivate small things that matter.

In the end, you will find that your small investments will pay giant dividends.

Now that you got the picture, what’s your action plan?

You are in this for the long run, so do your part, keep it real and allow peace, happiness, and love to reign!

What do you think? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Sending lots of love, positivity, and blessings your way:).

 

 

 

Categories
Dating Relationships

How To Approach Your Dream Girl And Land A Date

How To Approach Your Dream Girl And Land A Date.

What do you say when approaching a girl you would like to date?

How to approach your dream girl and land a date

How do you approach your dream girl?

What if she rejects you?

Using this proven tool can help get these hurdles out of the way.

In this article you will learn how to charge up your batteries, start your engines and approach your dream girl.

You may also like how do I make my relationship stay strong – 16 ways?

How do you approach your dream girl to land a date if you are shy and don’t know what to say?

We are about to show you how!

She walks into the room and instantly your heart melts.

You’re not sure if it’s her smile, her confidence, or her kind demeanor, but there’s something about her that makes you wish you were closer to her.

When you think about approaching her, however, you’re stuck.

You don’t want to say the wrong words or be super awkward and turn her off.

You’re deeply afraid of being rejected, and there’s nothing more terrible than being on the other side of rejection…

This is a scenario that you may know too well.

God desires us to be whole, especially before we enter into a serious relationship.

Learn how to become the right one before meeting the right one.

“Dating for the Socially Awkward: Overcome social anxiety and gain the confidence to get the girl you desire” by Jouhzu, is a total self-improvement journey.

The thought of being with your crush brings you feelings of excitement, yet the idea of initiating things with them brings feelings of discomfort and dread.

You’ve had opportunity after opportunity to approach your dream girl and ask her out, but each time you find yourself stumbling over your words, unable to truly articulate your attraction to her.

If you lack self-confidence out of fear, then this will keep you believing in yourself and help you in attracting a great partner.

Michael Todd in his bestseller book provides a guide to finding lasting love with a Christian approach. Here’s the link to this incredible book; Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex. 

Asking a girl out is a challenge for many men. The fear and anxiety of rejection is enough to make a man do without a woman he really cares for.

There’s no foolproof guide on how to ask the girl of your dreams on a date.

You have to try different approaches.

We are all blessed with a unique combination of qualities, preferences, and social styles; there simply can’t be one perfect way of approaching someone.

In any endeavor of life, the hidden teachings of Christ will teach you how you can shape your world easily and quickly.

This post is not meant to be a rule book, but rather a collection of tips you can use to better yourself and your mindset when approaching the woman of your heart.

Let’s dive into some of the tips you can utilize to approach your dream girl and probably land a date.

#1. Know Your value

Know your value - approach a girl

The first tip on how to approach your dream girl is to know yourself and your value.

One thing a man must strive to have before they approach anything in life is a sense of self-worth.

In order to confidently approach a woman, you must know you have something valuable to bring to the table.

You may also like ‘Best tips on how to live intentionally every day.’

1 Corinthians 1:5 says that “By Him, you are enriched in everything, in all speech, and in all knowledge…”

As a child of God, you are full of worth and value.

In today’s world, men have a lot of pressures that can drive them to insecurity.

The world tends to determine a man’s value solely by how much money he has, his social status, and how many women are attracted to him.

There is barely any emphasis on his attributes, such as his character or his beliefs.

If a man does not have one of these superficial attributes, he may battle with the feeling he is not good enough for the woman he admires.

This is why it’s essential to have an internal sense of value.

Part of having self-confidence is being well-groomed. Check out these links that can help you look and feel your best:)

•Michael Todd Beauty – Charcoal Detox Deep Pore Gel Cleanser, Formulated with Highly Absorbent Activated Charcoal, Tea Tree and Botanical Extracts.

100% Natural & Organic Beard Kit for Men Grooming & Care W/Beard Wash/Shampoo, 2 Packs Beard Growth Oil, Beard Balm Leave-in Conditioner, Beard Comb, Beard Brush, Beard Scissor.

Every Man Jack Body Wash, Eucalyptus Mint.

You may not have all the money in the world or may not be the most popular guy in the room, but these are not things that make a person, and limit a person to external validation.

The only person’s validation you require is God’s and your own.

You are more than money or status, you are filled with kindness, valor, and intelligence, and much more!

When you understand you possess a combination of unique God-given qualities, you realize you are more than enough for your dream girl.

When you become secure in the fact that you have so much to offer, the thought of initiating a date with the woman of your dreams seems less daunting.

Women appreciate a man that is sure of himself and his God-given strengths-it’s an indication of the great partner he’ll be.

An additional word of advice though, there is a thin line between arrogance and confidence.

Being sure of yourself does not mean you should forget about the importance of being humble.

Humility and Confidence work hand in hand.

#2. Be Observant

Be observant - approach your dream girl

Most people, whether it’s a man or a woman, appreciate when they feel someone took the time to notice little things about them.

Being observant to detail is another tip on how to approach your dream girl.

Whether you take note of how she takes her coffee in the morning, her favorite past time, or the genre of music she loves to listen to, using the knowledge you gain can go a long way.

Ten Secrets for the Man in the Mirror: Startling Ideas About True Happiness by Patrick Morley challenges men to get beyond the surface happiness.

A woman is most likely not going to be impressed solely by your attraction for her.

Instead, she’ll appreciate the fact that you delved beyond that attraction and endeavored to get to know her as a person.

Strike up a conversation about her favorite song or ask a question about the book she’s reading.

This is an almost sure way of communicating your interest in her without focusing solely on physical attraction.

Paying attention to details can also serve as a great way to get ideas for that date you want to ask her on.

Imagine that after careful observation, you notice your crush loves art.

Asking her out to an art museum or a painting class would be met with much more interest and enthusiasm than if you blindly suggested something else.

#3. Form a Friendship

Form friendship with intended crush picture

Forming a solid friendship is another tip on how to approach your dream girl.

I know, I know. You probably rolled your eyes when you read that.

Why would you set yourself up for the awful, dreaded, friend zone? However, the key to a successful relationship is a strong friendship.

Oprah Love Expert Reveals the Secrets For You To Have the Relationship of Your Dreams.

Earlier, we discussed how being observant could help put you in the position to ask your dream girl on a date.

Some aspects of a person, though, can’t be inferred from observation so much as it can from the regular conversation.

By forming a friendship with your potential date, you stand the chance of really getting to know her.

And by getting to know her, you increase your chances of landing a date.

There’re even more advantages to forming a friendship with your crush: A friendship tears down walls and creates comfort.

Remember when you first met your ideal woman and how hard it was to form complete sentences around her?

Maybe with time, it got a little easier to say a few words, although the thought of asking her on a date still makes you anxious.

With time and continued proximity, you got a little more comfortable.

Imagine if you two formed a friendship. That type of bond would definitely make you feel more comfortable around her and allow you to be yourself.

When we approach each other in a climate of friendship, we do not have the pressure to be accepted or rejected.

She gets to learn more about you.

Friendship is not only an opportunity for you to learn more about your dream partner, but also an avenue for her to get to know you.

Perhaps you have common interests or admirable strengths.

Perhaps you have quirks or mannerisms that she could find adorable.

A friendship is an opportunity to present who you are without the added pressure to perform. It’s an organic, healthy way of allowing all aspects of you to shine.

You get to see if there is actual compatibility.

For the longest, you’ve admired your crush from afar.

You’ve observed some things, had a few conversations here and there, but every interaction has been only on the surface.

You don’t know enough about her to gauge whether you’re genuinely a match.

While dating is a way to gauge if there is an affinity for one another, a friendship does the same, but with an added benefit- there is no pressure.

When you decide to pursue a genuine friendship, you don’t have to worry about performing or making grand gestures that may not be organic.

#4. Show Her The Respect She Deserves

Show Respect

Romans 12:10 says to “Love one another with brotherly affection.”

It is essential to treat all of our fellow humans with respect, and this extends to your dream girl or woman you want in your life as well.

In a world full of patriarchy and misogyny, women don’t always get the respect they deserve.

Unfortunately, some women end up with dates and partners who also won’t extend that respect.

RELATED: How to know if you are in a toxic relationship.

The number one way to turn a woman off is to show clear disrespect for her and her boundaries.

Without love, the woman reacts without respect, and without respect, the man reacts without love. This initiates a painful and negative cycle in any relationship.

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ book on love and respect is a great resource for anyone interested in a long-lasting relationship.

This is the link to the book – Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs.

Every woman is different and has their own code that they live by. It is your responsibility to acknowledge that code and do your best to honor it.

Failure to do so can make you lose the possibility of dating your dream girl, and worse, can land you in big trouble.

#5. Be Genuine About Your Intentions

Intentions

People have different intentions for asking their dream girl on a date.

Perhaps you are looking for friendship, a casual date, or are looking to pursue a full-fledged relationship.

It’s essential that you are honest to yourself and to your woman of interest about your intentions for asking her out.

RELATED: 12 Best Secrets to a long-lasting relationship.

Don’t put on a charade because you feel it’s the only way to get her to go on a date with you.

Riches and honor and life are the remuneration of humility and of the fear of the LORD. – Proverbs 22:4.

Dwight Moody talks about how God promotes honest and humble men in his book, “Daniel, Man of God: Being a Man of Character in a Babylon World.” 

While this can get you the date, you’ve wanted, it can have disastrous results as well.

In his book “No Excuses,” Dr. Tony Evans “urges men to stop looking at their circumstances as excuses and instead to see them as challenges and opportunities for success.”

Be a man of honesty and integrity, and you will attract the woman of your dreams!

#6. Invite Her To Church

Invite your crush To Church

One way to get a good woman to gravitate towards you is to include her in personal activities that don’t have an air of expectation.

One great way to form a friendship and easing communication between you and your crush is to invite them to church with you.

It can be something more intimate such as a bible study, or it could be a mid-week or a Sunday service.

This is a good time to get a good study bible –NLT Life Application Study Bible, and a daily devotional-New Morning Mercies: A Daily Gospel Devotional specifically for men.

This is a great way for you to connect with her on a spiritual level.

The 5 Love Languages for Men: Tools for Making a Good Relationship Great by Gary Chapman teaches you how to master what matters in a relationship. 

Maybe you could connect over your mutual love for similar worship styles.

Or perhaps the pastor’s topic of the day could strike up a deep conversation.

Most importantly, inviting her to something personal and intimate like a church is an excellent way of communicating how important she is to you.

You wouldn’t invite just anyone to church with you, to be amongst you and the people you fellowship with.

This is a great segue to asking her out because when you do, she’ll know it’s not just a superficial date you’re asking for; you really want to connect with her on a deeper level.

#7. Communicate Clearly

Communicate Clearly

Always work on being the best communicator you can.

When you do get around to asking your dream girl on a date, it will take clear communication so she can have a good idea of what your intentions are.

Good communication is one of the things that keeps a relationship intact.

This best seller with excellent reviews offers the best tips on crucial conversations. Here’s the link; Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High.

Whether you strike up an initial friendship or simply ask her out, good communication is key.

Sometimes, being an excellent communicator is hard for people because of the amount of vulnerability it entails.

Most people have a fear of opening up themselves to rejection or being the subject of negative judgment, so they tend to avoid directly communicating their wants, feelings, or thoughts to protect themselves.

Unfortunately, there is no set way of avoiding rejection or negative judgment.

When you open yourself up to someone, you’re taking a risk. However, the potential gains from clear communication greatly outweigh the potential losses.

Communicating clearly ties back to your security in who you are as a person.

When you are confident in who you are and know your value, it’s easier to put yourself in a vulnerable position.

Regardless of the outcome, you know that you are a man of valor, and any woman would be lucky to go on a date with you.

If they accept it, excellent. If they don’t, it’s their loss.

A good woman will have a deep appreciation for a man who is willing to go out on a limb to communicate his intent and feelings.

Don’t hesitate to communicate clearly. Be true to yourself and to what you feel in your heart.

#8. Just Do it- Ask her out!

Ask her out

Your dream girl could end up being your soulmate.

She could end up being the partner that God created for you.

Dr. Tony Evans, in his book, Kingdom Man, Every Man’s Destiny, Every Woman’s Dream, is a guide that empowers men to rise up without intimidation to take up their God-ordained roles.

But you will never experience that if you don’t ask.

Step beyond your fears and doubts and go for what you want.

No one ever got the love of their life by just standing idle.

Put yourself out there, and if it is meant to be, it will be!

I’ll end this post with some pick-up lines that are sure to lighten the mood.

Maybe you can use one of these lines on that special someone!

  1. “Last night, I was reading the book of Numbers, and I realized I didn’t have your number.”

  2. “Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives … He never met you!”

  3. “I didn’t know that the angels were flying so low. “

  4. “I’m not Joseph; maybe you can help me interpret the dreams I had about you?”

  5. “Is it hot here, or is it just the Holy Spirit burning in you?” “

  6. “How many times do I have to turn you around for you to fall in love with me?” “

  7. “I didn’t believe in predestination before today.”

  8. “Is it a transfiguration? Because you are radiant. “

  9. “Excuse me, but I believe that one of your ribs belongs to me.”

  10. “Is it a sin to have stolen my heart? “

  11. “What is your name and number for me to add you to my “prayer list? “

  12. “Normally, I am not very prophetic, but I can see us together.”

Asking out the girl of your dreams does not have to be a scary, daunting task.

The tips here can help you to approach your dream girl with success.

This post was meant to remind you that you are a great catch, and God has blessed you with wonderful qualities any good woman can appreciate.

Strive to be the best person you can be.

Learn to be a good communicator, to be sensitive and attentive, and to be completely confident in who you are.

Do not allow fear of rejection to hold you back, and always remember that what is meant to be will be.

What are some other tips that can help a man secure a date with his dream girl?

Be sure to comment below, and don’t forget to share this post if you enjoyed it!

*Sending some positivity and blessings your way…….

 

Categories
Marriage Newlyweds Relationships

Best Christian Marriage Advice for Newly Weds: 31 + Tips

Marriage Advice Every Newly Married Couple Must Know.

Christian Couples with 31+ years of Happy, Healthy, Successful experience share 31 Lessons learned in Marriage.

Let’s explore some of their best Christian marriage advice for newlyweds!

Best Marriage advice for Newly weds

Through the happy days of romance, love warms you, fills you, and lifts you to new heights.

     Congratulations on your new wedding!

Marriage mirrors God’s relationship with His people.

Successful marriages require way more than physical attraction, love, and common interests.

Like the torch in a hot air balloon, romantic love gives you the thrill of seeing your loved one from 10,000 feet as your love soars.

Once the marriage begins, however, the rubber meets the road.

        The hot air balloon lands. Reality sets in.

The daily walk together, on the ground, is about to begin.

Here are 31 must know practical, Christian marriage advice for newlyweds that will help you through the new, daily journey that you are beginning with your spouse.  

Use this proven best biblical marriage advice for newlyweds to build a strong foundation for your relationship.

 Marriage God’s Way is a Biblical Recipe for Healthy, Joyful, Christ-Centered Relationships.

You Absolutely Must Know About Your Relationship – Test Your Compatibility And Grow Deeper In Love. 

1. Learn About Each Other

learn about each other - 31 best ways

The first marriage advice for newlyweds is to make genuine efforts to learn all you can about each other.

Now that the soaring thrill ride of engaged love has “landed,” it’s time to get down to earth and get to know your spouse.

As you walk with them on the ground from up close, take time to learn the fine-tuned details of who your spouse is.

Here’s a link to Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict.

Find out your spouse’s likes and dislikes, favorite foods, daily habits, childhood stories, and special quirks.

You are now a team so you need to learn and know all you can about your spouse to build a strong marriage foundation.

Tell each other stories from your growing up years or college days.

Try to learn something new daily. This helps set a firm foundation.

Make a commitment to understanding much stuff about your spouse well.

It is vital in your relationship that you and your loved one discover your love languages early.

You may also like The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.

“Many conflicts would be effectively avoided if you do your best to get to learn about each other,” is one marriage advice for newlyweds from a lady married for 32 years.

Build on the special bond between two of you and strive to be each others BFF.

You may also like Small love gestures that keep a relationship going strong.

2. Get To Know Each Other’s Personalities

know each others personalities

Adjusting to living with each other initially may be difficult.

It is necessary and essential to patiently understand your spouse to avoid even the smallest conflicts that could erupt into bigger ones.

An excellent tool for learning about your spouse is taking a personality test.

A personality test is aimed at improving interpersonal relationships, and promoting positive attitudes towards people who are different, in the areas of understanding, appreciation and respect.

Tests like DISC, Enneagram personality test assessments, 16 Personalities tests, Nanaya, the 5 love languages, or the Gothman Institute’s Relationship Quiz are some tests you can try.

They can help you get started in discovering new realities about your spouse.

What activities energize your spouse? It’s better to know for real than to guess.

You may also like the 50 secrets of a blissful relationship.

Dr. Gottman, the country’s foremost relationship expert, talks about nurturing fondness and admiration in the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.

Here’s a link to Dr. John Gottman’s The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide.” 

What stresses him or her? How does he respond in conflicts, and what are her needs?

Personality tests can help you and your spouse find out a lot about each other.

It opens up the line of communication so that you can be able to talk about everything and anything.

You may also like the 4 seasons of marriage: secrets to a lasting marriage.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

don't make assumptions

On marriage advice for newlyweds, Vera married for 32 years stated; “Making assumptions can RUIN even the best relationship.”

This is a guide for that crucial first year.

It’s the Newlywed’s Instruction Manual that provides essential information, troubleshooting tips, and advice for the First Year of Marriage.

Our knee-jerk reaction is to assume that other people have the same motives, desires, reactions, and reasons for doing things as we have.

Personality tests can help you understand situations from your spouse’s point of view.

They give you insights into his or her real thought patterns and motivations.

This will help you avoid making assumptions about your spouse.

Instead of making assumptions in any situation, always get a clarification on any unclear conversation, spoken and unspoken words, and doubts.

By all means, please don’t be a mind reader!

You may also like how do I make my relationship stay strong – 16 tips

4. Talk About Household Chores

Try not to make assumptions in the area of chores.

In your family of origin, Dad may have more hands-on, washed the dishes, cooked meals, and taken out the trash.

In your spouse’s family, they may have had a protective wife who wouldn’t allow her husband in the kitchen.

Some families assume men will mow the lawn; others assume the woman will.

What about cleanliness? To some, it’s important to scrub until every speck of dirt is gone.

Other families are comfortable with casual and occasional cleaning.

Here’s a link to help make these tasks easy to complete; home cleaning ideas.

Make sure you bring these topics out into the open as soon as possible in the relationship and have a plan in these areas.

Adjusting and willing to compromise here and there will help reduce a lot of fighting in making sure household chores are completed; marriage advice for newlyweds from Liz married close to 32 years.

5. Learn About Perpetual Conflicts

The topic of chores is an area that the Gottman Institute would label as a solvable conflict.

If you discuss this issue with clarity and compassion and come to a mutual compromise, the topic can be easily solved.

But The Gottman Institute provides food for thought when it says that some types of conflicts are not solvable.

While solvable conflicts are simple logistical challenges or differences of opinion that can be fixed by discussing them,

unsolvable problems are clashes between personalities or values that will come up over and over and will never truly go away except with divine intervention.

Gottman suggests approaching these issue’s topics with continuing dialogue.

He recommends “humor, affection, and even amusement, to actively cope with the unresolvable problem, rather than allowing it to fall into the condition of gridlock.”

Read full article here

https://www.gottman.com/blog/managing-conflict-solvable-vs-perpetual-problems/

Being honest about unsolvable problems can help you not to waste time and energy worrying about things that cannot be changed.

This link has a good resource on managing conflicts –Marriage Conflict: Talking as Teammates (31-Day Devotionals for Life).

7. Confront Feelings of Shame

In a new marriage, many newlyweds battle feelings of insecurity.

Inadequacy lurks around every corner.

Am I good enough for my spouse?

Am I pretty enough, funny enough, adventuresome enough?

We wonder if we have what it takes to make our spouse happy for the rest of our lives.

All these questions boil down to one thing: Shame.

The Bible reminds us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

It is important to learn about shame and uncover sources of shame in your childhood.

It is equally important to celebrate that no one is perfect except God.

Otherwise, shame will put up its hurtful and damaging defense mechanism: Contempt.

7. Develop A “No Contempt” Policy In Marriage

Contempt is a common smokescreen that shields us against the painful feeling of shame.

Lashing out disdainfully at others’ quirks is a common way to alleviate the nagging discomfort of shame.

When two people live under one roof for the first time, they discover surprising things about one another that they never knew before piece by piece.

Some of those things may be good, and some of them may not be so good and peaceful.

Make a point to never respond to your spouse’s quirks with disrespect, contempt, or scorn.

You may also like best reasons why we should always pray.

Dr. Dan Allender, a prominent Christian therapist says that couples must have “a loyal commitment to a zero-contempt relationship. No matter the issue, no matter its importance, contempt must be viewed as dangerous as lighting a match to look into a gas tank.

8. Be Proactive About Conflicts

Dr. Allender goes on, “Contempt arises like smoke from the fire of shame.”

Shame is the fire and contempt is the smoke, and you will need to develop a “smoke detector” in your marriage.

Meet proactively at least once a week to discuss issues, hurts, sins, conflicts, and things that have been unsaid that need to be addressed.

Make sure these issues are detected early, while they are still small and healthy.

Try to uncover feelings of inadequacy before they explode into an incendiary.

James 5:16 – Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.

According to author Gary Thomas, in “Sacred Marriage” “We have to stop asking of marriage what God never designed it to give — perfect happiness, conflict-free living, and idolatrous obsession.”

Instead, he invites us to see how God can use marriage as a discipline and a motivation to love God more and reflect more on the character of His Son, together as a couple.

9. Trust And Respect Each Other Including Each Other’s Space

“A marriage without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it as long as you want, but it won’t go anywhere.” -Unknown

No relationship can thrive without trust and respect.

Couples should feel safe with each other.

You may also like this great resource; Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs.

Your spouse should be confident that they are with someone they can completely trust and confide their feelings, thoughts, worries, and concerns to.

Married couples are one flesh and joined together in Christ for life, therefore they should understand what respecting boundaries is early in the relationship.

Yet at the same time, they are also individually created children of God.

Your spouse may need time to be alone with God or just to reflect, decompress, or relax.

Allow your spouse some space and don’t seek to manipulate or demand every minute of his or her time.

Philippians 2:3-4 reminds us, “In humility consider others more important than yourselves. Each of you should look at not only your own interests, but also at the interests of others.”

The bible says we are to “Do unto others as you want them to do unto you.”

In other words, this means that you treat your spouse in the same way you would want to be treated.

Respectable boundaries in your marriage, foster trust and belief.

Love and respect are the foundations of relationships.

“Respecting your spouse includes not saying bad things or discussing them with other people, friends, family, co-workers, and others” – another marriage advice for newlyweds from Laura – married for 34 years.

10. Don’t Let Marriage Become An Idol

The thrill and closeness that marriage can bring are meant to be a breathtaking picture of our special relationship with Christ.

At the same time, we can’t begin to assume that marriage itself is our relationship with Christ or that our spouse is our god or ultimate focus.

“Our spouse is not our ultimate place of fulfillment,” stated another lady with 40 years marriage experience on biblical advice for newly weds.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer encourages Christians to be careful not to make human love an end in itself.

He describes the dangerous thinking patterns of idolatrous love: “Nothing, not even the truth, must come between” the two lovers.

The only goal of life, to which everything else must bend, is “the other person, his company, his answering love.”

When we think like this, our relationship is unhealthy and in danger.

11. Get Excited About God’s Work In Your Spouse

In the middle of daily stresses and conflicts that come with jobs, careers, housework, chores, and kids, it can be easy to lose sight of the beauty of what Christ is doing in your spouse’s life.

Try to catch a glimpse of the exciting work God is doing.

The similarity in beliefs, goals, and objectives are virtues in any relationship, but it’s good for any spouse to appreciate any positive attitude or change towards a greater knowledge of Christ by the other spouse.

Trust the ways God can change your spouse!

12. Pray Together

pray together

As children of God, one of the most important things you can do with your new spouse is to talk to your Heavenly Father together.

Short Daily devotionals with bible passages will sometimes encourage couples to pray together.

This is a link to a very good daily devotional for couples, one that I really like: “365 Days of Prayer for Couples: – Inspirational Devotionals for Couples.”

Newly married couples must know that relationships have plenty of bumps along the way, and prayer is the shock absorber that helps make the journey a little less difficult.

Practically, try going on a prayer walk together. Hold hands and pray.

Here’s a link to Joel and Victoria Osteen’s Our Best Life Together: A Daily Devotional for Couples.” 

Colossians  4:2 instructs us to “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it  with thanksgiving.” ESV

Start the morning with prayer. End the day with prayer. A family that prays together stays together, they say.

Pray about fears, difficulties, conflicts, and decisions. Surprise each other by calling to pray together.

Make prayer a part of your everyday experience with your spouse.

The Bible agrees that when people pray together their petitions are heard by God: Matthew 18:19: “Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.”

13. Pray For Each Other

Similar to the last point, this point emphasizes an important lesson learned in marriage.

Prayer is a powerful tool to touch the heart of your spouse—and to change your own heart in the process.

This 7 day prayer miracle can transform your relationship.

In moments of conflicts or discord, your knee-jerk reaction may be rehashing the situation in your mind or with your words.

Instead of mulling, try turning to Christ with the conflict. Pray for your spouse.

This is probably the best marriage advice for newlyweds.

In his book, Life Together, Bonhoeffer said we should “speak to Christ more about a brother than to a brother about Christ.”

In other words, talk to God about your spouse even more than you talk to your spouse about problems, issues, or concerns.

Bring your spouse’s hopes, dreams, failures, sins, and struggles to the Lord in prayer.As you do, you may see that God wants to change you as well.

14. Compliment One Another

Go out of your way to express thankfulness for your spouse.

Speak words of gratefulness directly to your husband or wife, and intentionally speak well of them to others within their earshot.

Keeping a gratitude journal about your spouse will help you have compliments at your fingertips. Writing a thank you heartfelt sweet note, a gift or card are simple ways of expressing thankfulness.

This journal has very good reviews; 100 Days of Grace & Gratitude: A Devotional Journal.” 

Commit to doing these often. People like to be appreciated.

You may also like Monthly, powerful Biblical affirmations for courageous faith.

15. Celebration

celebration

Even before your children are born, create traditions, rituals, and habits of celebration for your household.

Special surprise or moment on a birthday morning, an Advent chain counting down the days to Christmas, caroling to neighbors,

taking walks together or getting up by candlelight on Christmas morning are simple acts that can help bond your new family together.

Start by combining holiday traditions from your families of origin.

Then brainstorm and research ideas to form new traditions of your very own.

16. Look For Ways To Serve

Doing dishes, filling glasses of water, checking the doors at night, balancing the checkbook, fueling, washing, and maintaining the car are simple ways to show your spouse you care.

Decide to fix breakfast so that your partner could sleep longer.

Have the mindset that you are a team and you are in this together and find ways to intentionally serve each other.

But what about more descriptive acts?

We can imitate Christ’s self-giving love when we do distasteful tasks such as cleaning the bathroom, dealing with rodents and insects, or fixing the plumbing.

17. Forgive Early And Often

Couples who have been married for many years share lessons they have learned in their marriage.

They all say that forgiveness is a very important and practical aspect of a long-lasting marriage relationship.

Every human being has the capacity to sin.

In any marriage, even the most peaceful, couples will definitely sin against each other.

As Christians, we do not grant our spouse forgiveness because they deserve it, but as an act of mercy and grace covered by unconditional love.

It is very important that you continually forgo the hurts you go through caused by your spouse and resolve to start the relationship afresh.

Here’s a resource recommended by Rhoda married for 33 years; Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope.” 

One of the most important lessons newly married couple must grasp is forgiveness.It’s better to forgive quickly rather than holding on to a grudge.

And it’s better to assume the best and forgive as a knee-jerk reaction rather than assuming the worst.

18. Confess When You Are Wrong

Confession is often very hard but very necessary.

A seasoned spouse shares, “If I am wrong, I have to say so. Staying angry or insisting on my own rights is not an option. Over the years, this has been a struggle, but practice does make it come a little easier and more quickly.”

Dr. Bonnie Badenoch explains that couples become more resilient every time they work to repair a “break in connection.”

Couples who have worked to repair their broken bonds can actually feel closer after the reconciliation than before the conflict happened.

You may also like Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope.”

19. Common Goals

Early in your marriage, seek to clarify common goals, values, dreams, and desires.

When your family has joint goals and you are all working together to meet them, a special bond will be created.

20. Managing Careers

As you create joint goals, seek to understand your spouse’s independent career goals.

How can you work to help your spouse succeed in their career?

How can you each support each other in your individual goals and dreams?

Make sure to clarify early in your marriage the role that careers will play in your lives.

Prioritize spending time together outside of work.

Work together to establish work schedules that are best for your union.

Be an encourager to your spouse. Be their best cheerleader.

21. Start Investigating Child-Rearing

Child rearing -marriage advice for newly weds

Couples may imagine that they will have years to get to know each other, pursue careers, and casually learn about child-rearing before children will arrive on the scene.

But some couples are surprised by how quickly God sends little ones into their lives and families.

Start right away to define your shared values regarding child-rearing.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and We’re Pregnant! The First Time Dad’s Pregnancy Handbook,give insights on how a husband and a wife can approach and participate in the pregnancy experience with confidence.

Research different issues related to raising children, and be clear about your shared values in this area.

Get genuine advice from your wise parents, especially mothers and trusted friends who have been there.

22. Be Proactive In Your Relationship With God

A couple who has been married for forty years shares a lesson learned in marriage.

They say, “We emphasize the centrality of God and Scriptures to our home and life.

We try to let God’s words be continually in our mouths and to talk of them when we sit in our house, when we walk by the way, when we lie down, and when we rise up.

We spend time reading God’s word privately and together, and also work on hiding God’s word in our hearts through memorization.”

One of the best biblical advice for newlyweds is to read His word together. The word of God has positive impact in changing hearts and keeping people humble.

23. Be Careful About Expectations

Young couples often enter marriage with rosy-colored dreams and great expectations for their marriage, life, and relationship.

Mike Bechtle shares, “When we have expectations of what needs to happen, we’ll usually be disappointed.”

Instead of forming unrealistic expectations that will later be broken, he encourages couples to “replace expectations with expectancy.”

Filled with expectancy for what God will do in our relationship, we can free ourselves from unreasonable expectations and demands.

24. Express Healthy Curiosity

Be curious about your spouse’s day, experiences, feelings, job, or childhood.

Ask questions and seek to understand.

Even during challenging conversations, allow your mind to be curious about what your spouse might be thinking or feeling.

Wonder out loud or silently about the feelings or experiences that may be causing the words or reactions that your spouse is portraying.

Dr. Steve Call in his book; “reconnect: insights and tools for cultivating meaningful connection in your marriage,” explains that “curiosity… fosters understanding and connection.”

25. Do Things Together

Do things together -marriage advice for newly weds

Doing things together is a piece of practical marriage advice for newlyweds.

During the early days and weeks of marriage, every daily activity of life can be an invitation to connect.

If one of you has a chore, see if you can do it together.

Both of you can chat while you do the dishes.

You can take a bath or shower together.

You can cook together, watch each other do art or woodworking, or hand each other tools while fixing the car or things around the house.

Whatever you are doing, do it together.

Life will happen, children will come, and this will become impossible or more difficult later.

Take advantage of the opportunity that you have to share the everyday experiences of life right NOW.

26. Face To Face Finances

Figuring out and managing your finances early is probably one of the best marriage advice for newlyweds.

Don’t allow financial issues to come to a head before you discuss them.

Discuss ALL your debts including credit cards, student loans, car notes, etc.

The ultimate goal would be to strive to become debt-free.

Be proactive in setting up and communicating about your budget and priorities.

Have a frequent face to face check-ins to talk about finances and other matters.

When it comes to large decisions on finances, always make joint decisions.

17 best practical financial advice for newlyweds will give you tips on how to handle money matters from day one.

Decide together how to manage any student loans, credit card debts, paying house bills, etc.

Have a clear understanding of how to manage bank accounts, whether joint or separate accounts or both.

Who will be responsible for actually paying the bills after the funds are apportioned?

What about your parents? Would they need help? Decide how you will accommodate extended family expenses if applicable.

Remember, it’s no longer MY money, it’s now OUR money.

27. Remember The Events That Are Important To Your Spouse

remember events

To some newlyweds, it is extremely important that their spouse remember the one-month anniversary of their marriage and the one-year anniversary of their first date or their engagement or other dates that are special.

Do your best to set a reminder on your phone so you will not forget these important days.Marriage advice for newlyweds from Linda – 36 years in marriage.

When the anniversary rolls around, respond with a simple card, back rub, flowers, words of appreciation, or another gift that would be meaningful to your spouse.

Keep in mind holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries of deaths or traumas your spouse may have experienced.

Learn the 12 best secrets to a long-lasting relationship.

Be extra gentle on those days and seek ways to encourage your spouse.

28. Talk About Your Spiritual Life

Deuteronomy 6:7 says to talk about God’s word “when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed, and when you are getting up.”

To some people, it may seem very personal to talk about your spiritual journey with your spouse.

But talking about God together will help you stay accountable and will help you grow in your closeness to God and each other.

Talk about the church you will be attending and how involved you are going to be. This marriage advice for newlyweds should be agreed on before you start having children. It’s very important for families to worship together.

Know preachers your spouse likes to listen to, what songs they like, and sometimes just watch or listen together.

29. Talk To Your Spouse About Your Temptations

This may seem counterintuitive, but Laurie Krieg emphasizes the importance of talking to your spouse about your temptations.

Rather than pulling away in shame or fear, come to your spouse and start to talk.

Lauri Krieg says, “Temptation grows in isolation and silence… Simply opening my mouth and sharing what I’m thinking about” is a powerful tool for healing. https://lauriekrieg.com/temptation-in-a-pandemic-4-tools-im-using/

30. Play Together

In his book, Reconnect, Dr. Steve Call, makes an ultimatum: “Play together to stay together.”

He suggests that couples play together three times a week for ten minutes.

Another marriage advice for newlyweds revolves over finding hobbies that you and your spouse both enjoy.

And it doesn’t have to be expensive or complex.

Playing could mean watching a sunset together, taking a walk, or having a pleasant chat.

No matter what it means for you, emphasize spending special time together, even when the honeymoon’s over.

31. Intimacy is Vital and Very Important

 

“What is a successful marriage if it’s sexless or sex-starved?” asks Linda, married for close to 32 years

Sex is a symbol of unity in marriage. It binds couples together.

Sex was designed for marriage, despite what current culture says and was ordained by God.

Dr. Kevin Leman in his book, Sheet Music: “Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage,” offers a practical guide to sex according to God’s plan.

This frank, straight-to-the-point, and practical book is a perfect must -read resource with tons of marriage advice for newlyweds and engaged couples.

To avoid sexual immorality, sex should be frequent and mutual.

1 Corinthians 7:5 – Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

No matter what your schedules are, make this an IMPORTANT aspect of your marriage and when you partake, let it be special, no hurry, and let it be a mix of however you both like it!

Sex should be honored, cherished, and enjoyed as a gift from God and moreover, you should not be ashamed to express yourself.

You may also like “have a new sex life by Friday: because your marriage can’t wait until Monday“.

In conclusion, proactively implementing this marriage advice for newlyweds and always being open, intentionally and responsibly willing to work on your relationship can help newlywed couples build a lasting, strong, and satisfying relationship.

You may also like 56 powerful daily Biblical affirmations.

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As always, sending lots of love and blessings your way…….