Aromatherapy is the practice of using oils from plant extracts for medicinal, relaxation, and aromatic purposes.
Chiefly known for its calming properties, aromatherapy techniques also advocate the utilization of various essential oils to comfort the mind and body.
If you’ve been wondering what essential oils are, worry no more.
I’m going to give you an overview of what it is and how it can be of benefit to you and your entire family.
So, what is an Essential Oil?
An EO is a highly volatile concentrated compound extracted from certain plants.
The oils in every EO capture each plant’s scent or “essence.”
Answers to any questions you can’t get from this content can be found in this ‘essential oil tell it all.’
The associated unique aromatic compounds give each plant its characteristic essence that makes up its essential oil.
Although essential oils for the most part, are still linked to the idea of a relaxing therapeutic massage session, there are many more recent uses today.
Research shows EOs can be helpful, but people have to know how to use them correctly.
How are Essential Oils Obtained?
The most common method for essential oil production is through steam distillation.
Another method is mechanical, including cold pressing.
Advantages of aromatherapy oils include mood improvement, concentration, decongestion, relaxation, and sleep improvement.
Today, many spas use aromatherapy to enhance the pleasant experiences of their clients.
The use of essential oils and aromatherapy, however, does not end there.
Many other application methods include diffusers, massage oils, inhalers, baths, and teas, but are not limited to them.
Therapeutic Essential oils and oil blends can also be produced for specific therapeutic purposes, such as
-Relieving muscle soreness,
-Minimizing the occurrence of acne,
-Fighting infections,
-Treating wounds,
-Repelling insects,
-Hair growth,
-Reducing winter blisters, and much more.
Are Essential Oils Safe? Here are some Essential Oil Safety Tips
As EO popularity and market continue to grow, concerns as to whether they are altogether safe also continue to grow.
These concerns are validated by the fact that EOs are highly concentrated and potent plant extracts.
You have to be cautious and read label directions for each oil before use.
Dr. Scott Johnson empowers individuals on the safety profiles for over 200 integrative remedies with this.
Essential oils are also highly flammable substances therefore they should be kept away from direct contact with some elements.
By all means keep EOs away from elements like flames, gas cookers, candles, fire, matches, and cigarettes.
It is advised not to apply essential oils directly into the eyes, ears, nose, or other sensitive areas of the skin.
Also, keep all essential oils out of sight and reach of small children and pets.
Are you taking any supplements, vitamins or medications?
Yes, no, maybe?
If yes, then hear this.
EOs should NOT be taken by mouth because it can interact with other medications or supplements with potential damage to the kidneys and liver.
The American Association of Naturopathic Physicians advises against using EOs on babies under three months old.
Before using EOs topically, it is very advisable to do an allergy test first, and this is how you do it.
• Dilute the essential oil in a carrier oil at 2 times the concentration of oil you plan to use.
• On the inside of the forearm, rub the mixture into an area the size of a quarter.
If within 24 to 48 hours, you don’t notice any allergic reaction like a rapid onset of pain and redness of the skin or other skin irritations, you can assume it’s safe to use.
I have personally found essential oils to be beneficial to elevate moods, promote relaxation, increase focus, and bring on feelings of peace and tranquility.
Here are my top 15 Essential Oils that help and heal and some of their benefits.
You can also add it your conditioner and other hair products for added hair growth boost.
#3. Tea Tree Essential Oil (Maleleuca Alternifolia)
Tea tree essential oil visibly smooths out the skin and reduces inflammation.
Research has shown that when mixed with a carrier oil, like coconut or jojoba oil, tea tree EO can be used topically as a lotion to alleviate acne and nail fungus.
This herbal/tea tree toothpaste has become a necessity in my morning routine.
Hygiene – my family’s favorite body wash contains tea tree oil. It helps fight body acne and leaves a refreshing feeling.
Sandalwood oil is widely used in Ayurveda and traditional Chinese medicine to combat acne and reduce large pores.
People believe that sandalwood can be beneficial in treating disorders like fatigue, bronchitis, anxiety, insomnia, low libido, and UTI (urinary tract infection).
Living an intentional life lead towards living a purposeful life.
You must know what you want out of life for a start. Intentional living is way much more than a YOGA BURN that leads to a lighter, healthier & happier life.
It is like your personal vision. It is like taking stock of your life NOW and deciding whether the things you are investing your time and resources into are worth it.
“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” -Carl Bard
More importantly, how do they bring glory to God? You must prayerfully ask for God’s guidance in identifying your purpose in life.
Always ask yourself, WHY am I doing this?
If there’s no reasonable WHY or if it’s difficult for example to identify WHY you are in a relationship or WHY you are spending so much time with a particular friend, or WHY you keep watching this particular show, if there’s no fulfillment at all, then guess what? It’s time to shift gears and start doing things differently.
It’s time to start making changes that will align with your core values. These changes will bring about long-lasting happiness and feelings of fulfillment
Here Are Some Tips on How to Live Intentionally.
Improve the PRESENT
Forget the PAST
Spend quality time studying the word of God and things of the Lord
Associate more with genuine children of God. Iron sharpens iron
Have a positive mindset
Be sensitive to time always. Do not waste time on anything unproductive. Time waits for no one
Here are 56 cards that offer simple and easy-to-do daily practices.
Integrate them into your life and you can have powerful results and uncover sustainable happiness. Get these mindful living card decks
Treat your body right. Take care of God’s temple. Don’t put bad stuff into your body. Stay away from bad habits
Be at ease with yourself
Respect and love your parents notwithstanding their disposition
Don’t think too highly of yourself. You didn’t make yourself
Have a budget and stick to it
Always have an emergency fund for the rainy day
Live frugally. Save, save, invest, invest
Buy what you ‘need’ not what you ‘want.’ Ask ‘why’ before you buy
My dear friends, your intentionality can only grow if you focus on beingintentional. You must identify what you want, have a clear, focused picture, and an action plan.
Are you looking for ways to be intentional in your life? Are your core values based on God’s word and truths? Or anyone else’s?
I would really, really love to hear about one or two of the daily tips you plan to use from now to become more intentional. Please let me know in the comments. I will really appreciate it.
As always, I’m sending lots of love, and positivity your way. Stay continually blessed………..♥
Marriage Advice Every Newly Married Couple Must Know.
Christian Couples with 31+ years of Happy, Healthy, Successful experience share 31 Lessons learned in Marriage.
Let’s explore some of their best Christian marriage advice for newlyweds!
Through the happy days of romance, love warms you, fills you, and lifts you to new heights.
Congratulations on your new wedding!
Marriage mirrors God’s relationship with His people.
Successful marriages require way more than physical attraction, love, and common interests.
Like the torch in a hot air balloon, romantic love gives you the thrill of seeing your loved one from 10,000 feet as your love soars.
Once the marriage begins, however, the rubber meets the road.
The hot air balloon lands. Reality sets in.
The daily walk together, on the ground, is about to begin.
Here are 31 must know practical, Christian marriage advice for newlyweds that will help you through the new, daily journey that you are beginning with your spouse.
Use this proven best biblical marriage advice for newlyweds to build a strong foundation for your relationship.
Marriage God’s Way is a Biblical Recipe for Healthy, Joyful, Christ-Centered Relationships.
“Many conflicts would be effectively avoided if you do your best to get to learn about each other,” is one marriage advice for newlyweds from a lady married for 32 years.
Build on the special bond between two of you and strive to be each others BFF.
Adjusting to living with each other initially may be difficult.
It is necessary and essential to patiently understand your spouse to avoid even the smallest conflicts that could erupt into bigger ones.
An excellent tool for learning about your spouse is taking a personality test.
A personality test is aimed at improving interpersonal relationships, and promoting positive attitudes towards people who are different, in the areas of understanding, appreciation and respect.
Tests like DISC, Enneagram personality test assessments, 16 Personalities tests, Nanaya, the 5 love languages, or the Gothman Institute’s Relationship Quiz are some tests you can try.
They can help you get started in discovering new realities about your spouse.
What activities energize your spouse? It’s better to know for real than to guess.
Dr. Gottman, the country’s foremost relationship expert, talks about nurturing fondness and admiration in the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
Make sure you bring these topics out into the open as soon as possible in the relationship and have a plan in these areas.
Adjusting and willing to compromise here and there will help reduce a lot of fighting in making sure household chores are completed; marriage advice for newlyweds from Liz married close to 32 years.
5. Learn About Perpetual Conflicts
The topic of chores is an area that the Gottman Institute would label as a solvable conflict.
If you discuss this issue with clarity and compassion and come to a mutual compromise, the topic can be easily solved.
But The Gottman Institute provides food for thought when it says that some types of conflicts are not solvable.
While solvable conflicts are simple logistical challenges or differences of opinion that can be fixed by discussing them,
unsolvable problems are clashes between personalities or values that will come up over and over and will never truly go away except with divine intervention.
He recommends “humor, affection, and even amusement, to actively cope with the unresolvable problem, rather than allowing it to fall into the condition of gridlock.”
Dr. Dan Allender, a prominent Christian therapist says that couples must have “a loyal commitment to a zero-contempt relationship. No matter the issue, no matter its importance, contempt must be viewed as dangerous as lighting a match to look into a gas tank.”
8. Be Proactive About Conflicts
Dr. Allender goes on, “Contempt arises like smoke from the fire of shame.”
Shame is the fire and contempt is the smoke, and you will need to develop a “smoke detector” in your marriage.
Meet proactively at least once a week to discuss issues, hurts, sins, conflicts, and things that have been unsaid that need to be addressed.
Make sure these issues are detected early, while they are still small and healthy.
Try to uncover feelings of inadequacy before they explode into an incendiary.
James 5:16 – Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.
According to author Gary Thomas, in “Sacred Marriage” “We have to stop asking of marriage what God never designed it to give — perfect happiness, conflict-free living, and idolatrous obsession.”
Instead, he invites us to see how God can use marriage as a discipline and a motivation to love God more and reflect more on the character of His Son, together as a couple.
9. Trust And Respect Each Other Including Each Other’s Space
“A marriage without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it as long as you want, but it won’t go anywhere.” -Unknown
No relationship can thrive without trust and respect.
Your spouse should be confident that they are with someone they can completely trust and confide their feelings, thoughts, worries, and concerns to.
Married couples are one flesh and joined together in Christ for life, therefore they should understand what respecting boundaries is early in the relationship.
Yet at the same time, they are also individually created children of God.
Your spouse may need time to be alone with God or just to reflect, decompress, or relax.
Allow your spouse some space and don’t seek to manipulate or demand every minute of his or her time.
Philippians 2:3-4 reminds us, “In humility consider others more important than yourselves. Each of you should look at not only your own interests, but also at the interests of others.”
The bible says we are to “Do unto others as you want them to do unto you.”
In other words, this means that you treat your spouse in the same way you would want to be treated.
Respectable boundaries in your marriage, foster trust and belief.
“Respecting your spouse includes not saying bad things or discussing them with other people, friends, family, co-workers, and others” – another marriage advice for newlyweds from Laura – married for 34 years.
10. Don’t Let Marriage Become An Idol
The thrill and closeness that marriage can bring are meant to be a breathtaking picture of our special relationship with Christ.
At the same time, we can’t begin to assume that marriage itself is our relationship with Christ or that our spouse is our god or ultimate focus.
“Our spouse is not our ultimate place of fulfillment,” stated another lady with 40 years marriage experience on biblical advice for newly weds.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer encourages Christians to be careful not to make human love an end in itself.
He describes the dangerous thinking patterns of idolatrous love: “Nothing, not even the truth, must come between” the two lovers.
The only goal of life, to which everything else must bend, is “the other person, his company, his answering love.”
When we think like this, our relationship is unhealthy and in danger.
11. Get Excited About God’s Work In Your Spouse
In the middle of daily stresses and conflicts that come with jobs, careers, housework, chores, and kids, it can be easy to lose sight of the beauty of what Christ is doing in your spouse’s life.
Try to catch a glimpse of the exciting work God is doing.
The similarity in beliefs, goals, and objectives are virtues in any relationship, but it’s good for any spouse to appreciate any positive attitude or change towards a greater knowledge of Christ by the other spouse.
Trust the ways God can change your spouse!
12. Pray Together
As children of God, one of the most important things you can do with your new spouse is to talk to your Heavenly Father together.
Short Daily devotionals with bible passages will sometimes encourage couples to pray together.
Newly married couples must know that relationships have plenty of bumps along the way, and prayer is the shock absorber that helps make the journey a little less difficult.
Practically, try going on a prayer walk together. Hold hands and pray.
Colossians 4:2 instructs us to “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” ESV
Start the morning with prayer. End the day with prayer. A family that prays together stays together, they say.
Pray about fears, difficulties, conflicts, and decisions. Surprise each other by calling to pray together.
Make prayer a part of your everyday experience with your spouse.
The Bible agrees that when people pray together their petitions are heard by God: Matthew 18:19: “Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.”
13. Pray For Each Other
Similar to the last point, this point emphasizes an important lesson learned in marriage.
Prayer is a powerful tool to touch the heart of your spouse—and to change your own heart in the process.
In moments of conflicts or discord, your knee-jerk reaction may be rehashing the situation in your mind or with your words.
Instead of mulling, try turning to Christ with the conflict. Pray for your spouse.
This is probably the best marriage advice for newlyweds.
In his book, Life Together, Bonhoeffer said we should “speak to Christ more about a brother than to a brother about Christ.”
In other words, talk to God about your spouse even more than you talk to your spouse about problems, issues, or concerns.
Bring your spouse’s hopes, dreams, failures, sins, and struggles to the Lord in prayer.As you do, you may see that God wants to change you as well.
14. Compliment One Another
Go out of your way to express thankfulness for your spouse.
Speak words of gratefulness directly to your husband or wife, and intentionally speak well of them to others within their earshot.
Keeping a gratitude journal about your spouse will help you have compliments at your fingertips. Writing a thank you heartfelt sweet note, a gift or card are simple ways of expressing thankfulness.
Even before your children are born, create traditions, rituals, and habits of celebration for your household.
Special surprise or moment on a birthday morning, an Advent chain counting down the days to Christmas, caroling to neighbors,
taking walks together or getting up by candlelight on Christmas morning are simple acts that can help bond your new family together.
Start by combining holiday traditions from your families of origin.
Then brainstorm and research ideas to form new traditions of your very own.
16. Look For Ways To Serve
Doing dishes, filling glasses of water, checking the doors at night, balancing the checkbook, fueling, washing, and maintaining the car are simple ways to show your spouse you care.
Decide to fix breakfast so that your partner could sleep longer.
Have the mindset that you are a team and you are in this together and find ways to intentionally serve each other.
But what about more descriptive acts?
We can imitate Christ’s self-giving love when we do distasteful tasks such as cleaning the bathroom, dealing with rodents and insects, or fixing the plumbing.
17. Forgive Early And Often
Couples who have been married for many years share lessons they have learned in their marriage.
They all say that forgiveness is a very important and practical aspect of a long-lasting marriage relationship.
Every human being has the capacity to sin.
In any marriage, even the most peaceful, couples will definitely sin against each other.
As Christians, we do not grant our spouse forgiveness because they deserve it, but as an act of mercy and grace covered by unconditional love.
It is very important that you continually forgo the hurts you go through caused by your spouse and resolve to start the relationship afresh.
One of the most important lessons newly married couple must grasp is forgiveness.It’s better to forgive quickly rather than holding on to a grudge.
And it’s better to assume the best and forgive as a knee-jerk reaction rather than assuming the worst.
18. Confess When You Are Wrong
Confession is often very hard but very necessary.
A seasoned spouse shares, “If I am wrong, I have to say so. Staying angry or insisting on my own rights is not an option. Over the years, this has been a struggle, but practice does make it come a little easier and more quickly.”
Dr. Bonnie Badenoch explains that couples become more resilient every time they work to repair a “break in connection.”
Couples who have worked to repair their broken bonds can actually feel closer after the reconciliation than before the conflict happened.
Early in your marriage, seek to clarify common goals, values, dreams, and desires.
When your family has joint goals and you are all working together to meet them, a special bond will be created.
20. Managing Careers
As you create joint goals, seek to understand your spouse’s independent career goals.
How can you work to help your spouse succeed in their career?
How can you each support each other in your individual goals and dreams?
Make sure to clarify early in your marriage the role that careers will play in your lives.
Prioritize spending time together outside of work.
Work together to establish work schedules that are best for your union.
Be an encourager to your spouse. Be their best cheerleader.
21. Start Investigating Child-Rearing
Couples may imagine that they will have years to get to know each other, pursue careers, and casually learn about child-rearing before children will arrive on the scene.
But some couples are surprised by how quickly God sends little ones into their lives and families.
Start right away to define your shared values regarding child-rearing.
Research different issues related to raising children, and be clear about your shared values in this area.
Get genuine advice from your wise parents, especially mothers and trusted friends who have been there.
22. Be Proactive In Your Relationship With God
A couple who has been married for forty years shares a lesson learned in marriage.
They say, “We emphasize the centrality of God and Scriptures to our home and life.
We try to let God’s words be continually in our mouths and to talk of them when we sit in our house, when we walk by the way, when we lie down, and when we rise up.
We spend time reading God’s word privately and together, and also work on hiding God’s word in our hearts through memorization.”
One of the best biblical advice for newlyweds is to read His word together. The word of God has positive impact in changing hearts and keeping people humble.
23. Be Careful About Expectations
Young couples often enter marriage with rosy-colored dreams and great expectations for their marriage, life, and relationship.
Mike Bechtle shares, “When we have expectations of what needs to happen, we’ll usually be disappointed.”
Instead of forming unrealistic expectations that will later be broken, he encourages couples to “replace expectations with expectancy.”
Filled with expectancy for what God will do in our relationship, we can free ourselves from unreasonable expectations and demands.
24. Express Healthy Curiosity
Be curious about your spouse’s day, experiences, feelings, job, or childhood.
Ask questions and seek to understand.
Even during challenging conversations, allow your mind to be curious about what your spouse might be thinking or feeling.
Wonder out loud or silently about the feelings or experiences that may be causing the words or reactions that your spouse is portraying.
Decide together how to manage any student loans, credit card debts, paying house bills, etc.
Have a clear understanding of how to manage bank accounts, whether joint or separate accounts or both.
Who will be responsible for actually paying the bills after the funds are apportioned?
What about your parents? Would they need help? Decide how you will accommodate extended family expenses if applicable.
Remember, it’s no longer MY money, it’s now OUR money.
27. Remember The Events That Are Important To Your Spouse
To some newlyweds, it is extremely important that their spouse remember the one-month anniversary of their marriage and the one-year anniversary of their first date or their engagement or other dates that are special.
Do your best to set a reminder on your phone so you will not forget these important days.Marriage advice for newlyweds from Linda – 36 years in marriage.
When the anniversary rolls around, respond with a simple card, back rub, flowers, words of appreciation, or another gift that would be meaningful to your spouse.
Keep in mind holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries of deaths or traumas your spouse may have experienced.
Be extra gentle on those days and seek ways to encourage your spouse.
28. Talk About Your Spiritual Life
Deuteronomy 6:7 says to talk about God’s word “when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed, and when you are getting up.”
To some people, it may seem very personal to talk about your spiritual journey with your spouse.
But talking about God together will help you stay accountable and will help you grow in your closeness to God and each other.
Talk about the church you will be attending and how involved you are going to be. This marriage advice for newlyweds should be agreed on before you start having children. It’s very important for families to worship together.
Know preachers your spouse likes to listen to, what songs they like, and sometimes just watch or listen together.
29. Talk To Your Spouse About Your Temptations
This may seem counterintuitive, but Laurie Krieg emphasizes the importance of talking to your spouse about your temptations.
Rather than pulling away in shame or fear, come to your spouse and start to talk.
This frank, straight-to-the-point, and practical book is a perfect must -read resource with tons of marriage advice for newlyweds and engaged couples.
To avoid sexual immorality, sex should be frequent and mutual.
1 Corinthians 7:5 – Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
No matter what your schedules are, make this an IMPORTANT aspect of your marriage and when you partake, let it be special, no hurry, and let it be a mix of however you both like it!
Sex should be honored, cherished, and enjoyed as a gift from God and moreover, you should not be ashamed to express yourself.
In conclusion, proactively implementing this marriage advice for newlyweds and always being open, intentionally and responsibly willing to work on your relationship can help newlywed couples build a lasting, strong, and satisfying relationship.
One of the biggest surprises for a newly married couple can be their spouse’s daily habits regarding finances.
17 practical financial advice for newlyweds can help you avoid money problems before they creep in.
In the busyness of wedding preparations and the glow of romantic love, many couples may forget to discuss the fine details of their financial habits.
After marriage, a husband could be shocked when his new wife responds to a rough day by stress-shopping and coming home with loads of new clothes.
The total money makeover by Dave Ramsey has proven to be a faith-based and PROVEN plan for financial success for couples.
A wife might as well be surprised by her husband’s coffee habit or obsession with off-brand products.
If you are in debt, use this secret to miraculously dissolve your debt.
Saving for children’s college or retirement, beliefs regarding debt, investments, and savings–all these are important details that many couples overlook during the exciting days of engagement.
Igor-Alexander Ledochowski offers a program that gives clear, straightforward information for the average person on how to manage their finances, instead of living paycheck to paycheck.
Now, as a newlywed, it’s important to start off on the right foot when you talk to your spouse about finances.
Learning and adhering to personal finance basics could help couples not live paycheck to paycheck, and avoid many problems that can creep in later.
Money issues are the number one reason why most married couples have conflicts or fights.
As awkward as discussions of money issues can be, it is advisable to tackle this line of communication early to prevent any misunderstandings along the way in the relationship.
This complete guide to money teaches you how to budget, save, dump debt, and invest.
Come along with me in this article as I explore several important financial advice goals for newly married couples, shared by veteran couples with many years of experience.
Most of the information here comes from my own experience of more than three decades of marriage, interviews, and conversations with like couples.
Also, from Christian personal financial management classes and countless personal finance books that have passed in front of my eyes.
Here are 17 pieces of very valuable financial planning advice for newly married couples.
Every decision you make surrounding money is often based on your values.
Mary Nosuchinsky of Stash Wealth once said that married couples should, “Know what each person is bringing into the marriage, whether “good” or “bad” (salaries, savings, debt, spending habits).
It’s also helpful to talk about how each partner grew up with money.
Preparing a written and zero-based budget is the first and most important step in your financial plan.
In light of the important values you have determined, apportion an amount of money that you will set aside for certain needs every month.
A budget is a plan for every dollar you have. A zero-based budget means that every month you must budget or apportion every single dollar.
A budget is a must for any family aiming for financial freedom and a blessed, happy, and contented life.
Money problems related to insufficient wise financial planning is the cause of most marital stresses.
Based on your net incomes, you must know how much to apportion for your needs and wants every month.
Any budget must cover all your needs and some of your wants.
Basically, the key element is — savings for emergencies and the future.
If dressing professionally is important to you, you may want to use a larger portion for work attire.
If savings and generosity are important to you, then place considerable amounts in savings.
Don’t forget to budget for house and car payments, utilities, groceries, and small daily needs like soap and toilet paper.
The most common monthly expenses to factor into your budget should include housing, transportation, child care, pet care, health, life and car insurance, transportation, savings, debt, cell phone, food, utilities….
You must put into consideration both short term goals (within two years and less) and long term goals (anything more than 2 years) in your budget planning.
There are many budgeting apps specifically designed for couples and the family that allow for tracking of individual expenses as well as shared spending.
Avoid large purchases that would involve going into debt. Learn the ancient art of contentment.
If you can’t afford it, simply live without it.
Avoid borrowing and the use of credit cards.
If you must use a credit card, get one that you could use for all of your expenses, where you get cash rewards/ points/miles, and has the capability to build your credit too.
Your plan and focus should be on how much you can put on your credit card each month with the conviction and discipline to pay it OFF completely every month.
According to Proverbs 22:7: “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.”
Don’t ever get fooled by ‘sale’ prices, discounts, and attractive payment plans.
They are all beautifully decorated ideas that can lead you to spend on wants and not needs and to overspend.
8.// Don’t Spend All The Money You Do Have.
Avoiding debt and living within your means are important first steps to financial wellness as newlyweds.
However, a couple married for forty years shares another important lesson they have learned in marriage: you don’t need to spend every penny you DO have.
When you have leftover money in a cash envelope for the month, it’s not necessary to empty it.
Just count it as an extra donation to your savings account.
9.// Save For Large Purchases.
Savings is an effective and preferred way to achieve those large purchases you’ve been wishing for.
A car, a house, a new roof, and other large purchases require savings, patience, and perseverance.
Save money, a little or as much as you can each month for whatever goal you have in mind, and you will be surprised how quickly the money adds up.
10://Put Money In Long-Term savings.
Arrange with your employer to deduct money from your paycheck before you ever see it.
Direct deposit to savings is a simple way to pay yourself first.
Long term savings accounts are designed for saving over an extended period of time. There are other savings account options that are not as restricted.
This method of savings ensures that you are not tempted to spend the money you should be saving.
Saving is an important way to plan for your future and your family’s future. It requires a lot of discipline on your part, but remember that The Lord is your strength.
11.// Work Hard. Hard Work Pays Off.
Colossians 3:22-24 tells us God’s standards for our employment.
We should work hard “not only when [the boss’s] eye is on you and to curry their favor but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
Proverbs 13:4 also links hard work to financial success.
If you are not willing to work diligently, cheerfully, and willingly, don’t expect money to come rolling in.
12.// Remember That Money Is Not The Ultimate.
Although money is critical for survival, it is not the most important thing in the universe.
There are many things more valuable than getting another dollar.
There is no price tag to assess the value of spending time with your children while they are growing.
Investing time helping your elderly parents or neighbors is paramount and priceless.
Listening to a grieving friend is irreplaceable.
Each of these items is more important than money.
Although it’s important to work hard and to save, sometimes other things need to come along too or even come first.
First Timothy 6:10 says, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and by craving it, some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains.”
Jesus had a lot to say about people who loved money more than they loved him. Don’t be that person.
In other words, do not be so engulfed in making money that you neglect other aspects of life that are equally or even more important.
Someone once said that a happy environment attracts good things including money.
13.// Listen To Advice From Older Generations.
A seasoned couple with many years of marriage experience shares lessons learned in marriage.
These short proverbs will help guide you as you start your marriage:
Advice # 1: Pay off your credit cards every month and do not allow debts to accumulate.
Advice # 2: Shop from a list; if it’s not on the list, don’t buy it.
Advice # 3 Always think about big purchases overnight. Don’t buy impulsively.
Go home from the car dealer or furniture store and contemplate overnight if the purchase is warranted, for example.
Morning light often gives clarity to the situation.
There’s nothing wrong with getting financial advice from successful and trustworthy people that are older.
They can also serve as your mentors or accountability partners.
14.// Have An Emergency Fund.
Dave Ramsey and all financial advisers suggest keeping a sum of money that is set aside for emergencies.
Unfortunate situations tend to come around with regularity: emergent care, hospital bills, car breakdowns, appliance problems, roof damage, or even a fire or car crash.
Having an emergency fund will give you more confidence when difficult situations arise.
Dave Ramsey advises at least $1000 emergency fund in a beginner emergency fund and $500 if your income is under $20,000 per year.
According to Dave Ramsey, “A fully-funded emergency fund covers three to six months of expenses.”
Others suggest starting at $500 and adding to it until it gets to three to six month’s worth of expenses.
It’s not possible to know when an emergency will happen, but it is possible to plan ahead for it.
To build your emergency fund quickly, the simple and best principle is to spend less and make more.
You have to make an intentional effort to cut down on your overall average monthly expenses.
It can mean taking lunch to work, cutting off the lattes, going to the grocery store with a list, and avoiding buying anything that is not on the list, cutting down on weekend outings, etc.
This is probably one of the best practical financial advice a newlywed couple can put into practice immediately.
15.// Choose Date Options That Don’t Cost As Much.
While splurging on your relationship as a newlywed couple is a good idea from time to time, try to choose cost-effective date nights whenever possible.
The bottom line is to save money.
Perhaps you could go on a hike, ride a bike, walk by the river, or enjoy a home movie.
Whatever the case, enjoying the simple joys of life FOR NOW can help to save money.
16.// Live By The Old Proverb, “A Penny Saved Is A Penny Earned.”
Another practical financial advice for newlyweds is to SAVE, SAVE, SAVE. What small changes can you make to save money?
Perhaps you could adjust the thermostat by a few degrees. Or change your lighting to fluorescent bulbs.
Or, turn off the shower while lathering. You can also turn off lights when not in use, or let the fresh breeze dry your clothes.
Ride a bike to the store, walk in the neighborhood instead of going to the gym, or cook at home a few more nights a week.
You can sell things that you don’t need or use to make extra money and also declutter your house or apartment.
These options will not only save money but will reduce your carbon footprint on the earth.
17:// Pay Your Tithes and Choose Generosity.
Sometimes, it’s easy to clench our fists and hang onto our carefully-earned money.
But 2 Corinthians 9:6-8 says, “Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.
Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give outside the tithe, however not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.”
This promise provides endless hope for those who are generous. We tithe as an act of faith. Tithes support the needs of pastors and the work of the local church.
Most wealthy Christians attribute their success to adherence to sound practical financial advice related to tithing and offering.
God is more than able to bless us with all we need, in this life and in the next.
He will give us the resources we need to serve Him and bless others in every good work.
He will take care of us, and we will be fulfilled.
I believe that giving to the Lord should be the number one priority for any believer that understands or has experienced the benefits.
Obedience in paying tithes pleases God. Remember, He is the source.
Malachi 3:10 supports that – paying tithes and giving offerings as instructed are signs of obedience to Christ.
Obedience is better than sacrifice. Tithing is an act of faith.
We prove our love for Christ by obeying His commands.
All that we have belong to God. That should be a motivation for you to be obedient in paying your tithe.
Putting these practical financial advice and tips into practice can help you to stay financially happy.
“A vision without action is just a hallucination.” – Dr. C. Thomas Anderson.
Please do not Procrastinate!
Sending lots of love, blessings, and positivity your way………♥
A Happy and Healthy Relationship that is Good, Sweet, and Long Lasting is Possible!
But they can’t be bought, people have to intentionally make it happen.
The following tips can help you and your partner create and maintain a happy and healthy relationship.
Let’s dive in.
She gazes at a diamond ring through eyes filled with tears of joy and hope.
He stands on the stage, promising to love his new bride with all his heart, for the rest of his life.
As they walk down the aisle amidst cheers of congratulations, the happy couple sees their future spreading before them like the endless sparkling sands of a good tropical paradise.
Crystal waters lap softly on the beach of their life, while palm tree shades them from above.
Life is good; their hopes have come true.
The Disney ideal of “happily ever after” has come to their own doorstep to stay.
But only a few months later, after the newness has worn off, many couples find themselves staring at the sands of their life in confusion.
Most couples begin to wonder if they’ve been dumped on a deserted desert island rather than a tropical seaside resort.
They realize that they packed for a vacation, whereas real relationships are the adventure of a lifetime.
Expecting nothing but fun, happiness, romance, and fulfillment, most have made very few preparations for marriage.
They expected a beach vacation—not a wilderness survival camp.
The good news is that no matter what stage you are at in your relationship, you can always gain new tools and skills.
As a participant in the wilderness survival shows on television, you can still choose the carefully selected tools you will need to brave the white-waters of life with your spouse.
Most happy and healthy relationships have certain characteristics in common.Your relationship can be strong, meaningful, fulfilling and exciting if you understand and practice these basic and proven principles.
As you gain the abilities you need to overcome danger and adversity, you will find joy, even in the most remote and desolate deserts of life.
“When you pursue God’s purpose as a couple, then everything else you value in life – such as happiness, love, and satisfaction – will fall into place.” – Dr. Tony Evans. Kingdom Marriage.
Nine C’s of a Happy and Healthy Relationship are Crucial Resources for Every Couple’s Survival.
Each individual C is a tool for your tool belt as you launch into life’s adventure with your spouse.
1. Commitment
The first C on how to maintain a happy and healthy relationship is Commitment.
No one would survive the wilderness without commitment.
The kind of person who bails after the first stubbed toe or splinter is not the person that would be chosen for these reality shows.
Braving the wilderness requires an unvarnished commitment to continuing to work toward surviving and thriving.
In the same way, good relationships take work, perseverance, and the willingness to stand up under difficult circumstances.
First Corinthians 13:7 says that “love… endures all things.”
The Greek word “hupomeno” means that we experience difficulty with calmness and bravery.
“Tough love” is commonly used to refer to rebuke, discipline, or natural consequences, but it can be used in another way in relationships.
Tough love is a kind of love that is strong, durable, and stands the test of time.
It’s not like dollar-store tableware or a cheap toy that breaks with the first use.
It doesn’t quit or fall apart when the going gets rough and tough.
In the words of a pastor with many years of experience, love must keep “going through times of difficulty with a determination to continue.”
2. Communication is the Second C of a Happy And Healthy Relationship
Imagine what would happen to a team of wilderness survivors if there were no communication.
Food was being carefully rationed, but the team leader forgot to communicate this fact to the other team members.
Imagine the frustration and anger—and danger—that would ensue when the leader discovered that a large proportion of their food had been consumed.
Mike Bechtle said, “Watch for baby elephants in the room. If you let them stay, they’ll get really, really big.”
In other words, the “elephant in the room” starts small, and it is vital to communicate regarding uncomfortable issues before they grow unmanageably large.
The Bible stresses the importance of good communication.
James 1:19 says, “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” ESV
This verse emphasizes that relationships should provide an environment where each person feels safe.
Friends and spouses should provide a proven track record of listening to each other’s concerns
so that each person feels safe bringing issues into the light in a timely manner.
When communicating, dig a little deeper than you think you have to.
Don’t just tell your partner that you’re upset that he or she never looked up from his or her computer while you were talking to them.
Steve Call encourages people to ponder their frustrations long enough to become aware of past hurts and vulnerabilities that may be making your partner or friend’s behavior seem intolerable to you.
Mentioning these dynamics to trustworthy friends and partners can help communication stay open and honest.
3. Compassion
After you have communicated with your spouse or friend, compassion is critical.
We need to treat the story they have shared with honor and dignity.
Seeing others’ perspectives is critical to successful relationships.
If your friend or spouse shares a personal story or trigger related to their frustration with you, Reject the temptation to say,
“Well, too bad. Get over it. I’m not the person who hurt you.That’s not what I meant.”
Instead, take a moment to see the situation through your spouse’s or friend’s eyes.
Speak with kindness, acceptance, and understanding.
Jesus provided an excellent example of compassion in the way he treated others.
Matthew 9:36 says, “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” NLT
The phrase “moved with compassion” means that Jesus felt compassion in his gut, in his inner being.
Despite his followers’ confusion and helplessness, Jesus loved them deeply.
Your spouse or friend may be confused in their anger and frustration. They may be helpless against the triggers of past pain.
Our reaction should not be anger and hatred. Our reaction should be and should exhibit compassion.
4. Compromise
After you and your friend or spouse have communicated about the reasons behind your frustration and demonstrated empathy and compassion for one another, it is important to find a middle ground.
Consider our example of an individual who experienced visceral fear and abandonment when her friend didn’t look up from her computer.
Communication can lead to compassionate and helpful compromises.
Her friend or partner who was in the middle of a work project on the computer could verbalize; “I am working on an important work project with a deadline.
Could I finish a few more paragraphs? After that, I will give you my undivided attention.”
James 3:17 says that Godly wisdom is ”peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others.”
In the same way, compromising with others’ wishes in relationships is a sign of maturity and wisdom.
5. Courage
Few people have escaped from harm.
In this sin-tainted world, everyone has been a victim of abuse, hurt, betrayal, or harm of some kind.
Especially in cases where a partner has been abused in the past, Dan Allender discusses the intense courage necessary to walk into the “waters of death.”
It takes bravery to wade through the “confusion, suspicion, darkness, and betrayal” that past harm has brought to the relationship.
In an article on the 9Cs of how to maintain a happy and Healthy Relationship, it is appropriate to mention the courage required to wade into the “seas” of darkness and harm in any relationship.
Imagine a survival team that was required to swim through a poisonous chemical spill in order to make it to shore.
Most would do all they could to avoid this difficulty.
But if the chemicals had polluted the only avenue to safe harbor, they must dive in–no matter the cost.
The words, “Love… bears all things” have become almost cliché, rolling off our tongues at weddings or offering catchy words to put on a Teddy bear poster.
But if we take a moment to pause and consider these words from 1 Corinthians 13:7, we realize that they have a deeper meaning.
The word “bears” in Greek means “to cover closely (so as to keep water out).”
Envision yourself carefully covering your struggling friend, or partner with a waterproof jacket as you swim through those sordid waters to bring them safely to the shore.
This act takes courage, a vital element in any successful relationship.
6. Confidence
Another emphasis from 1 Corinthians 13 is that “love believes all things.”
Clearly, God does not encourage us to believe every fragment of information that we find on the internet or every false claim that a deceiving and conniving spouse wants to lead us to believe.
But there is one person that we can believe all the time: God.
“God is the cord that not only keeps you together but also keeps you strong and able to do all He has designed for you to do and enjoy.” -Dr. Tony Evans. Kingdom Marriage
Do we believe that God has the power to heal this relationship?
Also, do we give others the benefit of the doubt, believing their word whenever we can?
Do we have confidence in the other person, trusting that they will resolve this issue to the best of their ability?
Or do we approach the other person with doubt, assumption and suspicion?
A seasoned pastor once said that believing all things means that we “believe all things related to beauty and truth.”
It means “crediting the best motive in each other and directing others to Christ with their sin, believing that anything is possible with the work of God.”
When we support others in this way, we will often experience growth and resolution that we never dreamed possible.
7. Covenant
Poisonous chemicals, starvation, and isolation are tough.
But nothing beats the destructive power of a hurricane.
These deadly storms have the power to rip apart the strongest of buildings.
In life, what will keep your marriage intact during the storms of life?
It is not simply a means of looking for love, happiness, and fulfillment.”
Marriage is a Covenant, not a Contract.
A contract is an agreement made between two parties because they fundamentally distrust one another.
Business partners make contracts with one another to hold each other to their word in case of a disagreement.
Contracts are based on limited liability, seeking to protect one’s self from harm or infringement.
If both parties decide to change the terms of the contract, they can modify it at any time.
A covenant, however, is based on endless trust and security.
It cannot be broken when one of the parties wishes to change the terms.
A marriage covenant is created before God and is permanently indissoluble.
In Malachi 2:14, ESV, God mourns the broken marriage covenants of his people:
“The LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”
God takes marriage covenants seriously because he takes His own covenants seriously.
The covenant God made to Israel – ie -US could not be broken, even when Israel wished to desert God and follow other lovers.
Startlingly, God could not even break His own covenant, even when it cost Him endless pain and betrayal.
Centuries later, He still holds out His promise of love to His chosen people.
The New Covenant, won through Jesus’ blood, welcomes trusting sinners into a relationship with Him.
He is their husband, and they are His beloved and beautiful bride.
God emphasizes to us that He will never abandon us or break His covenant.
The God that created us wants a marriage relationship to be a reenactment of His powerful covenant to us.
8. Companionship
Can you imagine the difficulty of surviving in a vast wilderness—alone?
All you have is yourself, your gear, and the wide-open sky full of danger and promise.
Now imagine that even one friend joins you in your survival experience.
A friend who encourages you, supports you, laughs with you, spends time with you, and lifts your spirits when the going gets tough.
In any human endeavor, companionship is key.
Humans were created by God to live in relationships with one another.
In his book, Reconnect, Steve Call makes this memorable statement: “Play together to stay together.”
His prescription for marital struggles is playing together three times a week for ten minutes.
Playing could involve sitting together to drink coffee and watch the sun go down.
It could involve watching a movie, going on a bike ride, giving a simple hug, or talking about things that are mutually enjoyable.
Even though relationships are hard, the difficulty doesn’t have to have the final word.
Make time to enjoy your spouse or friend. Play together.
Provide companionship.
9. Caring Shines Like the Sun
The last of the Nine C’s on how to maintain a happy and healthy relationship.
Caring shines like the sun peeking out from behind storm clouds.
Make time to enjoy your spouse or friend. Play together.
Caring is the sweet rainbow after the rain, but it can be overlooked.
To know that someone cares about you is one of the most powerfully motivating forces in the universe.
Life can be tough sometimes, and it’s easy to throw up our hands in despair:
“I don’t even care,” we may grunt.
When storms beat through our desert island and destroy the Hollywood dreams we once had, it’s easy to become cynical, cold, and calculating.
“Like I cared,” we snort to the broken pieces of our dreams, floating out to sea.
That’s when the powerful words, “I care,” become so crucial.
Do you Even Know What it Takes to Make Your Relationship Last Long?
Every long term happy marriage has secrets to their success and what has kept them together.
While some couples enter their marriage relationship with starry eyes and rosy glasses, others enter with a bleakly realistic fear:
“What if our marriage falls apart? What if we don’t have what it takes to stick it out?”
With marriage relationships falling apart left and right and warm and devoted marriages disintegrating before our very eyes, we need words of advice, guidance, and strength.
We need to gain skills for endurance and going the distance.
What makes the difference? What helps some people weather the storms of life and stay strong long term?
Ever wondered – what are the secrets to a long-lasting relationship?
In this post, we will examine some important life lessons for building long-lasting marriage relationships.
Let’s have a look at twelve of the best things people (including myself – 34 years of marriage) who have stayed together for the longest share as perhaps, some of the secrets to their long-lasting relationships.
Let’s explore some great advice for a strong, happy, and enduring relationship.
Sherry Turkle explains that smartphones, computers, and technology have taken the place of much-needed personal conversation that is so vital to healthy relationships.
we can be sucked into the trend to outsource our thinking, our information storage, and recall, our memories, our information processing, and our philosophy to digital devices.
In fact, instead of taking time to fully digest our multi-sensory experiences with our spouse, we often short-change the experience by focusing only on taking a picture to later post on social media.
Instead of using our own minds to store, process, and retrieve our memories about our spouses,
we rely on the crutch of social media to remind us of memories and anniversaries.
Similarly, instead of spending time conversing about our day, developing new hobbies together,
or responding to one another’s bid for attention, we spend time scrolling endlessly through social media feeds or online news and shopping.
The writer of Ecclesiastes, despite his tone of darkness and despair, had a lot to say about the importance of treasuring each and every moment that God gives us here on earth.
He often reminded readers that life is uncertain; tragedy and calamities come, and death is sure.
In light of this, he advised, alternatively to,
“Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun–all your meaningless days.
For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.”
Ecclesiastes advised his audience to treasure the simple pleasures of daily life.
Don’t allow the marvels of a smiling face, a fading sunset, or a nuanced expression of tenderness be lost under a pile of addictive, stressful, and never-ending tweets, likes, comments, and headlines.
Sherry Turkle suggests creating “sacred spaces—the living room, the dining room, the kitchen, the car—that are device-free.”
However, you choose to apply this principle, remember that boundaries on technology are a very important part of a relationship that can go the distance.
#2. Be Prepared For Difficulty
It is important to understand that marriage may not be easy.
Jesus says that “in this world, you will have tribulation.”
Hebrews 10:36 says, “So do not throw away your confidence; it holds a great reward.”
Although you prepare for the worst, you must enter your marriage relationship with hope, confidence, optimism, and the power of imagination.
Paul Tripp says that the spiritual “power of imagination” is the confidence that allows us to envision leaves, flowers, and fruit on a dry, dead, winter tree.
The power of imagination allows us to dream of business goals that we later make a reality.
Similarly, the power of imagination helps us see that no matter the current or pending difficulty, God is always at work in our spouse’s life.
Even in times of difficulty, we can work on “believing that anything is possible with the work of God.” (Pastor H, Kansas)
Tim Keller in his renowned book “The meaning of Marriage” encourages spouses to use their spiritual imagination to get excited about what God is doing in their partner’s life.
He says, “Look at another person and get a glimpse of what God is creating, and to say,
‘I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to His throne.’
And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, “I always knew you could be like this.
Always approach your marriage with hope in the fact that God is; “able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us.” -Ephesians 3:20
#4. Practice Steadfast (Hesed) Love
Make Jesus Christ, the first and last and best in everything.
Throughout the Bible, God refers to His love for His people as “hesed.”
Hesed love means love, loyalty, or steadfast mercy.
It refers to a covenant love that never, ever gives up on the beloved.
Paul Miller says that “Hesed is one-way love.
It encompasses love commitment without an exit strategy.
When you love with hesed love, you bind yourself to the object of your love no matter what the response is…” (The Loving Life by Paul Miller)
Hesed love is the type of love that will keep your relationship going for the long term.
#5. Find And Stay With A Congregation That Will Support You
You need a strong body of genuine believers that will come alongside and help you through those tough patches.
They will help you see blind spots, guide you in times of difficulty, and encourage you when times are tough.
The body of Christ provides accountability and helps keep you on track with your relationship with your spouse and with God.
Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “Let us not neglect meeting together, as some have made a habit, but let us encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
Spiritual fellowship helps you avoid placing all your emotional weight on your spouse, which creates an impossible burden to bear.
Find solace in friends, mentors, accountability partners, pastors, and teachers.
The Body of Christ is an important key to developing courage and perseverance for the long haul.
#6. Develop Relationships With Older Mentors
Proverbs 27:10 says, “Never abandon a friend— either yours or your father’s.”
This verse implies that we gain strength and wisdom from learning to know people our own age and our parents’ age.
Seek out an older couple who has an exemplary, happy, and long marriage and explore what has kept them together.
Ask them to share with you the secrets of how to stay strong long term.
Learn from their marriage advice and wisdom and follow their example.
They may even be able to give you practical advice for the specialized situations you experience with your spouse.
#7. Don’t Ignore Your Spouse’s “Bids” For Attention
In his book, Reconnect, Steve Call, Ph.D. says that couples are constantly sending out “bids” for attention.
Like a slight nose-scratch or cough from a bidder at an auction, some of these bids are subtle and hard to notice.
Nonetheless, spouses are constantly asking one another for connection in small ways.
For example, if they hint at going out to eat, taking a walk, chatting about the day, or playing a board game,
make sure you don’t brush off this small invitation.
Notice their “bid” for attention and respond with kindness.
By any chance, if you’re not available right then, make sure you schedule another time when the two of you could connect.
If you make a habit of dismissing or ignoring your spouse’s bids, she or he may stop asking, and your relationship will suffer.
#8. Focus On “Crock Pot Relationships” Instead Of “Instant Microwave Relationships.”
In our culture of instant availability, it’s easy to assume that following a few steps, pressing a few buttons, and learning a few “hacks” can help you develop a successful marriage.
However, relationships are one thing that never develops instantly.
No matter how quickly you may have fallen in love, “love at first sight” doesn’t ensure that your relationship will progress easily and automatically.
Mike Bechtle says, “There are no shortcuts to maturity.
There are no shortcuts to healthy relationships. Maturity takes time.”
#9. Face Shame And Contempt Head On
According to Dan Allender, “a loyal commitment to a zero-contempt relationship” is one of the most critical elements in any marriage.
Especially when there has been vulnerability or hurt in the life of one spouse, a no-contempt rule is critical.
Dan Allender goes on, “No matter the issue, no matter its importance, contempt must be viewed as dangerous as lighting a match to look into a gas tank.”
In order to understand contempt, we need to also examine the shame in our lives.
Shame is the fear of disconnection and abandonment that stems from our belief about who we are as a person.
When we feel shame, we often turn to contempt to distract us from those feelings of abandonment and disconnection.
Instead of learning to feel secure in our identity, we blame someone near us or show contempt for ourselves.
#10. Don’t Allow Conflicts To Gridlock
The Gottman Institute provides excellent food for thought when it says that in some conflicts,
resolution is not necessarily possible in the way we traditionally think of it.
Solvable conflicts are simple logistical challenges or differences of opinion that can be fixed by discussing them.
Unsolvable problems, however, are clashes between personalities or values that will come up over and over ago and will never truly go away.
Some couples work endlessly to try to solve these problems, running themselves into corners, becoming defensive, being angry, or shutting down.
John Gottman, Ph.D suggests approaching these issues with continuing dialogue.
He recommends “humor, affection, and even amusement, to actively cope with the unresolvable problems,
You may think that all of life is going to be an upward of success and victory.
However, Jesus calls us to the life of death, self-sacrifice, and love that he demonstrated while he was on earth.
Ephesians 5 specifically says that husbands are called love with self-sacrificial, dying love.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25
In his book, J-Curve, Paul Miller emphasizes that dying with Christ is a big part of life.
We admire Jesus’ sacrificial love so much that we actually re-enact it daily.
Practice sacrificial love that is enveloped in the mutual respect that promotes your shared values.
This is a great virtue that can serve as a bedrock of any relationship.
Respect is the bedrock of any solid relationship. It’s impossible for any relationship to thrive without RESPECT.
Like the residents of Medicine Lodge, Kansas, who re-enact a historic peace treaty in a monumental pageant every three years, we are called to re-enact Jesus’ life of sacrificial love—not every three years, but every day.
“When you realize that death is at the center of love, it is quietly liberating.
Instead of fighting the death that comes with love, you embrace what your Father has given you. A tiny resurrection begins in your heart.”—Paul Miller
Intimacy should be emotional, mental, and physical closeness and not just sexual.
You must always make time to connect intimately.
This type of intimacy is a feeling that is much more deeper and solid than a romantic feeling. This is one marriage advice all couples in long term relationships agree to be one of their secrets.
Whether your marriage is hanging by a thread or healthy and strong, The Love Dare is a journey you need to take. You will learn the keys to finding true intimacy and developing a dynamic marriage.
#12. Regain Perspective As A Couple
When you start your marriage, it is important to create habits and rituals of connection.
Take time to regain perspective as a couple!
It’s important to think through your schedules, priorities, weekly events, and check-ins.
However, it is equally important to reevaluate those goals, rituals, and habits often as the years pass.
Don’t just get into a habit and continue with it for 20 years without taking a step back to see if those routines are still necessary.
Periodically review your goals, values, habits, and customs.
See if these rituals are working for you and evaluate whether you should change them or add new ones.
Although routines are important, ruts are not always helpful.
Make sure to check in from time to time to make sure you are still on the same page.
Life isn’t easy, and marriage is not for the faint of heart.
With these proven secrets to a long-lasting marriage relationship under your belt, you will gain the perspective, courage, and endurance that you need.
They will help you learn how to stay strong and intentional and long-term in your “Kingdom Marriage“.
Secrets To A Long Marriage Relationship: Words To Live By Everyday:
You can post these words where you can see them often.
Remembering them will help you and your partner to maintain a happy marriage that can withstand the most associated challenges.
-PATIENCE.
-UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
-FORGIVENESS
-KINDNESS.
-PERSEVERANCE.
-RELENTLESS.
-INTENTIONAL.
-MOTIVATED.
-COMPASSION.
-INTIMACY.
-GRATEFUL.
-MERCY.
-GRACE.
-MEEKNESS.
-COURAGE.
-HONESTY.
-RESPECT.
-TRUST.
-EMPATHY.
-FOCUSED.
-POSITIVE EMOTIONS.
As Always, Just hang on tight. Do Your best and leave the rest to a Faithful God. STAY BLESSED……
Sometimes, you may find you need some uplifting words that can brighten your day.
You may need reflective words or words of wisdom – an uplifting quote that can bring about a much-needed change or pull you in a better and more positive direction.
Find a comfortable spot like this to reflect on these words.
It is my prayer that they would help you in a remarkable way along your journey to better relationship experiences and to encourage you to stay sensitive and intentional.
Here we go, the best uplifting inspirational quotes to brighten your day.
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” -Frederick Keonig
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller
♥“A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.” -Andre Maurois
♥“The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It’s a choice you make – not just on your wedding day, but over and over again – and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.” -Barbara De Angelis
“Kindness has no religion. Religions are like narrow tracks, but kindness is like an open sky.” – Amit Ray
“Every morning when I get up, I ask God what he wants me to do, ask Him to lead me to the right people to help them.”– Richard Simmons
“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.” – David G. Allen
♥“Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” – Martin Luther
“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – Helen Keller
♥“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. -1st. Corinthians 13; 3-7 NLT
“Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose” – Bill Gates
“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses.” – Lao Tzu
“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” -Thich Nhat Hanh
♥“If love cannot stand the test of time, then it has failed the test of love.” – Bernard Byer
“What I write comes from a place of deep love, and a deep understanding of all kinds of otherness.” – Jacqueline Woodson
♥ “Love is not finding someone to live with. It’s finding someone you can’t live without.” – Rafael Ortiz
“When God puts love and compassion in your heart toward someone, He’s offering you an opportunity to make a difference in that person’s life. You must learn to follow that love. Don’t ignore it. Act on it. Somebody needs what you have.”― Joel Osteen,Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential♥” True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart.” -Honore de Balzac
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down”. – Oprah Winfrey
“Love is begun by time, And time qualifies the spark and fire of it.” – Shakespeare
“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford
♥“What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.” -Leo Tolstoy
“When you face adversity, you need to remind yourself that whatever is trying to defeat you could very well be what God will use to promote you.” ― Joel Osteen,Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential
♥“Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.” – Erica Jong
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, But fools despise wisdom and instruction.” – Proverbs 1:7 NKJV
♥“Great marriages don’t happen by luck or by accident. They are the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, prayer, mutual respect, and a rock-solid commitment between a husband and a wife.” – Dave Willis
♥“Marriage is sharing your life with your best friend, enjoying the journey along the way, and arriving at every destination together – Fawn Weaver
“Quit worrying about how everything is going to turn out. Live one day at a time; better yet, make the most of this moment. It’s good to have a big–picture outlook, to set goals, to establish budgets, and make plans, but if you’re always living in the future, you’re never really enjoying the present in the way God wants you to.”― JoelOsteen,Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential.
♥“A marriage cannot survive when we think only of ourselves. We need to recognize that to love someone is a choice, not a feeling. – Christin Slade
♥“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” –Proverbs 18:22
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16 NKJV
“Think before you speak. In the heat of the moment. It’s easy to say something you’ll later regret.” – Dr. Anil Kumar Sinha
“Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” – 1 John 4:11 NKJV
“Your desire to succeed should be driven by the need to fulfill your God-given purpose and not attract the praise of men.” –Tolu Thomy
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”– Brene Brown
“Let your past make you better, not bitter.” -Unknown
♥“Whencouplesfocus on remaining two while God is seeking to create oneness in them, they are inadvertently working against His purpose.” – Dr. Tony Evans
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Words travel far more than we can ever reach across hearts and live longer than we can ever live on earth and as such, should be spoken with a lot of goodness in them.” – Terry Mark
“Be sure to taste all of your words before you spit them out.”– Unknown
“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napoleon Hill
“Purpose is that power that will propel you to get out of bed in the morning and push you to make your dreams come true.” – Unknown
“Never underestimate the power to change you.” – Walter Ngele
♥“I have known many happy marriages, but never a compatible one. The whole aim of marriage is to fight through and survive the instant when incompatibility becomes unquestionable.” – G.K. Chesterton
“Sin and Hell are married unless repentance proclaims the divorce.” — Spurgeon
“The truth carries a weight that no lie can counterfeit.” –John Hagee
“Today, if you arefeeling overwhelmed,Jesus Christ is the rock who is high above your circumstance.” – Joel Osteen
“Righteous bumper provides motivationto push through difficulties.” – Dr. Charles Stanley
“Attacking the successful does not delete your failure.”– Dr. Pastor Paul Enenche
“Time changes, but truth never change.” – Unknown
“Children of today, there’s no benefit in rebellion.” – Dr. Pastor Paul Eneche
“Favor is the secret to uncommon blessings. Favor is the difference between your present and your future.” – Prophet Nanasei Sarkodie
“No matter what the matter is, you will matter when it matters most.” – Dr. Chris Okafor
“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, all play and no work makes Jack a poor boy.” -Unknown
“Dwelling on negative thoughts is like fertilizing weeds.” – Normal Vincent Peale
“When you appreciate the insignificant, you attract the significant.” – Skip Prichard
“Stop being jealous of people in their winning season. You don’t know what they lost in their losing season.” – Unknown
“Failure in education is not a failure in life. Failure is by determination.” – Unknown
“What you believe is what you become.” – Unknown
♥Where you go, I’ll go, where you stay, I’ll stay. – Ruth 1:16
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. – Deuteronomy 31:8
“We are most grateful for life’s mountain tops when we have experienced life’s valleys” – Skip Prichard
“I want peace, happiness, not only for myself, for everybody.”– Fela Kuti
“It is better to be a fool for Christ than a hero for the world for the times of the world will pass away, but the blessings of Christ will endure forever.” – Pastor John Hagee
“You are creative, you are alive, you are the stuff life is made of. What else could possibly matter?” – Iyanla Vanzant
“Don’t you dare allow personal fear to limit what God will do in your life.” – Pastor Mathew Hagee
♥“What makes a marriage strong is loving with a biblical love grounded in patience, kindness, loyalty, grace, and more, which is in alignment with God’s covenantal purpose for marriage“. – Dr. Tony Evans
“Five Daily Reminders: 1. You only fail if you quit 2. Everyone’s journey is different 3. Things always get better with time. 4. The past cannot be changed 5. Happinessis found within” – Unknown
“The man who is powerful FEARS nothing; not even God. The powerful man loves God, but FEARS him never! Enduring power never grows out of FEAR. Any power that is built upon FEAR is bound to crumble and disintegrate. Understand this great truth and you will never be so unfortunate as to raise yourself to power through the FEARS of other people who may owe you temporary allegiance.” – Napoleon Hill
“Nothing works unless it originates from God.”– Unknown
♥“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning, and unquenchable.” – Bruce Lee
“Life is about keys when you have a key, you don’t knock, you open the door.” – Archbishop Nick Duncan-Williams
“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – Walt Disney
♥ “If you can’t do anything about it, then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.” – Tony Gaskins
♥ “God never said that the journey would be easy, but He did say that the arrival would be worthwhile” – Max Lucado
“God will meet you where you are in order to take you where He wants you to go.” – Dr. Tony Evans
♥ “Remember who you are. Don’t compromise for anyone, for any reason. You are a child of the Almighty God. Live that truth.” – Lysa Terkeurst
“If you can’t fly, then run, If you can’t run, then walk, If you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.” –Martin Luther King Jr.
“Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.” – Francis Chan
“The Christian life is not a constant high. I have my moments of deep discouragement. I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes, and say, ‘O God, forgive me,’ or ‘Help me.’” – Billy Graham
“There is a reason the windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror. Your future matters more than your past.” – Max Lucado
“Your potential is the sum of all the possibilities God has for your life.” – Charles Stanley
“The greater your knowledge of the goodness and grace of God on your life, the more likely you are to praise Him in the storm.” – Matt Chandler
“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; and, he will exult over you with loud singing.” –Zephaniah 3:17
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” –Matthew 11:28
“God is love. He didn’t need us. But he wanted us. And that is the most amazing thing.” – Rick Warren
♥“Christian marriage does not exist for the benefit of the two people in the marriage; it is for the benefit of the world, that God would be glorified in it. The main purpose of marriage is not the enjoyment of the two people who are married, the main purpose of marriage is to glorify Christ as we participate in the mission of God.” -Tim Suttle
Biblical Caution
Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. Philippians 2:4 NLT
“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”-Galatians 6:2 NLT
“Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.” – Proverbs 22: 24-25 NLT
“Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” – 1 Corinthians 15:33
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it, is like wrapping a present and not giving it. – William Ward
“The opposite of love is not hatred; it’s indifference.” -Elie Wiesel
For Husbands
The Christlike husband is not supposed to be mean, harsh, provoke, or ill-treat their wives.
They are to love their wives as they love their own bodies. Would anyone ever harm their own bodies?
Be patient with your wife. Women go through some emotions that are peculiar to them, sometimes we do not understand it ourselves.
As her first responder, instead of being nonchalant, be kind and understanding. It takes very little or few gestures to please a woman.
You will progress more if your wife is 100% on your team. You are the head of the household, stay proactive, focused, and intentional, and do all you can to keep your home moving in the right direction.
If you become passive and the wife takes over, please don’t complain and call her liberated and disrespectful.
You cannot hold your wife to a standard or accountability that you will not hold yourself to as well.
♥“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.” – Ephesians 5:28 NIV
♥“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” – Colossians 3:19 NIV
♥ “Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them withrespect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” – 1 Peter 3:7 NIV
“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” – Proverbs 27:17
“Home is where everyone comes for respite and rest, but if a home environment does not provide the love that children need, then they will seek it elsewhere. ” – Nicoline Ambe, Being Dad
The kingdom wifeis supposed to respect (reverence) their husband.
They are expected to control their emotions and not nag, belittle, insult, talk negatively or gossip about their husbands, or bring them shame by the way they live at home or in the community.
Some men like to be respected for their intelligence and physical strength.
Hey ladies, if all it takes for him to be the kingdom man you want is to respect his intelligence and physical strength andboost his ego from time to time? Please, by all means, do it!
♥However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. – Ephesians 5:33 NIV
“I love you not only for what you are but for what I am when I am with you.” – Roy Croft
♥“Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” –Proverbs 31:11-12 NLT
♥“She speaks withwisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” – Proverbs 31:26-27 NIV
“Compassion is like a mother giving love to her children. Mother’s ways are higher than others, even when everyone rejects, mother accepts with her arms open and wide.” -Amit Ray
“When I am frustrated with my husband and feel like giving up on us, I have two choices. One: I can choose love and work on my marriage or, two: I can choose to love and work on my marriage.” -Darlene Schacht
“For our home to be a refuge it needs to be a place where love, compassion, and patience prevail.” – Allan Lokos,Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living
Encouragement
♥ Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
♥ Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? – Ecclesiastes 4:11
♥“You don’t fall into love. You commit to it. Love is saying ‘I will be there no matter what.’” -Tim Keller
♥ So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.– 1 Thessalonians 5:11
♥For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them. – Matthew 18:20
♥As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. – Proverbs 27:17
♥“Conflicts are not a sign you’ve married the wrong person. They simply affirm you are human.” -Dr. Gary Chapman
Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. – Hebrews 10:24-25
“Your mind is the only thing you can control exclusively. Don’t give it away too freely through useless arguments.” – Napoleon Hill
“Excellence is the best deterrent to racism or sexism.” – Oprah Winfrey
♥“Love is supposed to be based on trust, and trust on love, it’s something rare and beautiful when people can confide in each other without fearing what the other person will think.” – E.A. Bucchianeri
“And now these three remain faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” -1 Corinthians 13:13
Do you have a favorite quote you would like to share? Please let me know in the comments.
Please don’t forget to share! Get your free printable version of quotes below.
Sending lots of Blessings, Love & Positivity your Way…………♥
It’s very likely most relationships can seriously benefit from a digital detox.
How to Digitally Detox Your Relationship: 12
Effective Ways.
Many married couples admit to being physically present in a room with no communication or interaction whatsoever going on.
Instead, they are engulfed on their laptops or scrolling through their smartphones or tablets.
It’s easy to understand the importance of digital detox and the benefit of stepping away from our phones.
How To Digitally Detox Your Marriage: 12 Effective Ways will help you not only decide to detox, but to stick with your decision long-term.
It will help you learn how to make your digital detox sustainable in your daily life.
What is a digital detox, one may ask?
A digital detox is about having a predetermined period of time when you and your partner don’t access the Internet, use technology or go online.
An intermittent digital detox will not only be beneficial in your relationship with your partner, but also with God.
How many times have you tried to hurry through devotion or time with God so that you can check your social media page?
Most of us would agree that we probably need a digital detox. We can see how social media, phones, texting, and screens steal our moments with our partners and divert our attention.
It’s been reported that the average adult spends about 11 hours on screens and media. We grudgingly acknowledge that we spend too much time on our phones and tablets,
and we know that it would be a good idea to put our phones down for a while; we may even start off on a digital detox challenge.
Turning off social media and promising you will not use your phone for a week seems simple enough.
But as the digital detox challenge progresses, we often get tripped up by one of two things.
First, we trip up because we did not change our thinking.
Second, we fail the challenge because we did not put in place other tools to replace the tools we rely on our phones.
Keep reading for a treasure trove of practical tips, effective ideas, and mental shifts that will help you digitally detox your marriage.
#1. Start Small
To prepare yourself for your digital detox challenge, start small.
For example, have “phone-free zones” in the house, sacred spaces where family members can be themselves and enjoy one another for who they are without the danger of being captured and broadcasted all over the social media world.
Another way to start small is to have a “bedtime” and a docking station for your phone. At a certain time, have everyone in the family put their phones to “bed” at a certain place. Enjoy the rest of the evening talking, reading, and winding down for the night.
#2. Social Media Fast
Another way you can start small is to have social media fast.
Let’s go over just a few reasons to quit social media for a while.
First, social media causes stress.
The anxiety of comparison, of waiting to see if you are approved, and of worrying about what others think can weigh you down and invade every thought.
We begin to filter every experience through the question, “How would this look on social media?”
This is stressful!
Second, social media tempts you to argue.
God’s word says, “The Lord’s slave must not quarrel, but must be gentle to everyone, able to teach, and patient.” – 2 Timothy 2:24.
Social media presents a strong temptation to join in with the bickering, arguing, and fighting that goes on constantly on political, social, and theological issues.
Try being off social media for a day at a time at first. Later, you can lengthen the time you stay off media.
#3. Implement The Replacement Principle
If you were about to get rid of your car, you would need to research bus routes, buy bus tickets, find stores within walking distance, or buy a bicycle.
In the same way, before you launch into a longer social media fast or digital detox challenge, you’ll need to collect the tools that will help you accomplish the things that you previously relied on your phone to accomplish for you.
Do you use your phone as a camera, map, telephone, radio, or internet browser?
For most, they use their phones and gadgets as their ultimate machine for listening and streaming music.
Then you’ll need to have other tools in place to accomplish those goals.
Many people end up justifying or making excuses for the use of their phone during a detox: “Well, I just need my phone to take a quick picture,” or, “I need to quickly lookup something on Google.”
Replacing these functions with other tools is an important key to making your detox a success.
To start with, make sure you have access to a computer with a browser, Google, and the Internet.
You might choose to go to the library to use the computer to avoid being unnecessarily distracted.
If you’re going completely screen-free, make sure to get an encyclopedia, dictionary, and a phone book!
Second, you’ll need a point and shoot camera. You can get creative with polaroid, film, or digital.
Further, make sure your house phone – is in working order and that you can get an email on your computer.
You may want to dig out or purchase a CD player or radio so you can have music.
How about a map? Google maps on your computer is a great tool, and you can print the instructions or write them down on a piece of paper.
However, a paper road map will come in handy, especially on long trips.
Finally, make sure to acquire a daily planner or a wall calendar to keep track of your appointments and dates.
With these tools in hand, you will be ready to go!
#4. Just Put Away Your Phone
Just do it. Put the phone AWAY!
You can even lock it up in a lockbox and give your spouse the key!
This is the simplest step—and the hardest—as you digitally detox your marriage. It’s not easy, but you can do it!
#5. Increase Your Focus
Now that your phone is put away, you will begin to experience some encouraging mental shifts.
First, you will gain more focus as you stop dividing your attention.
Phones have a tendency to be a ubiquitous cause of split focus.
We listen to our partner talking while scrolling through our social media feeds, our attention divided.
Our face is turned away from them when they are talking to us, not really focusing on what they are communicating.
Throughout the Bible, hiding and turning away your face is a sign of rejection or anger.
For example, in Psalm 27:9, the psalmist begs, “Do not hide Your face from me; do not turn Your servant away in anger.
You have been my helper; do not leave me or abandon me.”
When you turn your face away from your spouse and towards your phone, your spouse may perceive your divided focus as rejection.
The book, 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You, admonishes, “Dividing attention is a typical expression of disdain.”
Steve Call’s book, Reconnect, affirms that gaze aversion and ignoring your spouse create a strong sense of disconnection.
Now that your phone is out of the picture, it may feel uncomfortable to not be able to hide in your phone.
Rather than running to other hobbies or solitary ambitions, make it a point to spend time with your spouse, look them in the eye, listen to them talk, and treasure their presence.
Take this opportunity to intentionally turn towards your spouse.
#6. Mental Margin
Another benefit of a digital detox challenge is the increased space in your mind. A mental margin is an important ingredient for creativity.
For example, Isaac Newton discovered gravity while he was in quarantine.
Why? Because he had mental space and time to breathe, ponder, think–and yes, be bored.
Although boredom can create a terrifying silence, try to think of it in a positive light.
Give yourself time to breathe and think and just be; give yourself some margin
#7. Create Real Memories
Be present with your spouse in real-life moments.
Tony Reinke says that “the richest memories in life are better ‘captured’ by our full sensory awareness at the moment—then later written down in a journal.”
You don’t need your phone or your Instagram profile to truly enjoy the sunset, the restaurant, or the tourist attraction; you don’t need the “likes,” comments, and shares to show you that your experience with your spouse is valuable.
Instead, look your spouse in the eyes, hold their hands, and turn to God in a prayer of thanksgiving for the water lapping on your feet, the gentle air caressing your cheek, and the presence of your loving spouse.
Write a descriptive paragraph about what you saw, felt, heard, smelled, and tasted.
Record the moment just for yourself, your spouse, and God.
Treasure a moment that doesn’t need to be photographed and shared.
#8. Create Meaningful Art
In his book, 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You, Tony Reinke said that art is “deep, thoughtful, original reflections that emerge from the place where creation and biblical truth meet your life and worship.”
As you digitally detox your marriage and step away from your phone, you will have much more time to think and ponder life.
Creative juices will begin to flow.
Make sure to express that creativity in art, music, writing, poetry, or other venues.
As an added benefit, use that creativity to show love and honor to your spouse.
#9. Remember What God Has Done.
A key theme throughout the Biblical narrative is that of remembering.
Psalm 103 begs us not to forget all the good things God has done.
Deuteronomy 8:11 is a plaintive plea to remember God, even when your life is full of good things and sensuous enjoyment.
In Hebrews 13:3 and Colossians 4:18, God tells us to remember those who are suffering for Christ.
Deuteronomy 8:1 tells us to remember his guidance and the way he tests us and shows us his character.
In other words, one of the most important functions of our God-given minds is remembering our Lord.
Digital media is designed to mold and shape the way we remember, think, and desire.
Facebook reminds us of birthdays, photos we posted three years ago, and posts that were well-received last year on this date.
It reminds us of the friends that it believes we love the most. Incessantly, Facebook reminds us that it “cares” about us.
Now that you have decided to quit social media for a while, you are free to form your own memories and shape your mind according to your own values and desires.
Make a list of the most important dates that you would like to recall: birthdays, anniversaries, and meaningful occasions.
Journal about things you are thankful for and ways that God has answered prayer so that you can look back later and remember on your very own, precious memories.
#10. Choose Your Own Path
Social media gurus and online sales technicians are working overtime to direct your train of thought, your purchases, your thought patterns, your memories, and your mind.
As you choose to let go of your phone and the online world for a while, enjoy the freedom of choosing your own path. Think your own thoughts, ponder your own ideas, and interact with your own choice of people.
#11. Turn OFF Notifications
Consciously disable or pause notifications for text messages, WhatsApp, Instagram, FB for a chosen amount of hours. You can choose between 6-8 hours, not just 1-2 hours.
#12. Out of Love and Respect
Love and respect are the basics of marriage. Respect is an important sustaining force of any relationship and should be reciprocal.
Every partner interested in the happiness and longevity of their relationship should care enough to know when to unplug the phone.
Caution; sometimes you can’t turn everything off completely if you are the first responder to your spouse, children, or parents. You get the idea though, RIGHT?
The main point here is to be wise and to not allow the digital craze to creep in as a Satan and mess up your relationships.
Just placing a curfew on your devices, say after a certain time when everyone is home or in a safe place can be beneficial to your overall relationships.
As you put these tips into practice, you will discover a life that is infinitely richer and more beautiful than the life behind a screen could ever be.
You will likely come away refreshed and ready to engage the online world in a more intentional way.
If you enjoyed the detoxed lifestyle, you may even decide you don’t want to go back!
No matter what digital choices you make going forward, make sure to never stop enjoying new memories with your partner, looking into people’s eyes, and listening deeply to what they are saying.
Never forget to think your own thoughts and spend time with the Lord, one-on-one. He is the one who will help you make careful, intentional choices and live your life with purpose as you digitally detox your marriage.
Have you had a digital detox before? If so, how was it? Please leave your comments below. I’m sure someone will be blessed by your comments.
As always, I’m sending lots of love, positivity & blessings your way………..♥
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” 
“The truth carries a weight that no lie can counterfeit.” 
