Category: Relationships
The Secret to Finding Strength in Adversity: Personalized Psalm 91
Personalized Psalm 91 unveils resilience and empowers in times of adversity.
In the face of adversity and challenges, finding strength can feel almost impossible.
However, there is a secret to overcoming obstacles that have been used for centuries: personalized recitation of Psalm 91.
By understanding the power of this Psalm and tailoring it to your specific situation, you can tap into a well of inner strength and inspiration.
Adversity is an inevitable part of life. Yes or no?
From health issues to financial problems, we all face challenges that can make us feel powerless and overwhelmed.
You may also like powerful positive monthly biblical affirmations for courageous faith.
But, what if I told you that there’s a secret to finding strength in the face of adversity that’s been used for centuries?
The personalized recitation of Psalm 91 can tap into a well of inner strength and inspiration that can see you through even the toughest times.
In this article, we’ll explore the power of Psalm 91, how to tailor it to your specific situation, and additional tools for overcoming adversity.
By the end of this article, you’ll understand why personalizing this Psalm can be a game-changer when facing challenges.
So let’s dive in and discover how you can find strength in adversity.
You may like Psalm 91 My Refuge, My Fortress, My God In Whom I Trust T-Shirt.
The Power of Psalm 91
One of the reasons why Psalm 91 is so powerful is because it is filled with promises of protection, healing, and provision.
When we recite this Psalm and personalize it to our specific situation, we are declaring these promises over our lives.
We are declaring these promises over our families, our jobs, and our situations.
This puts us in a position of faith and trust, instead of fear and doubt.
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Putting Personalized Psalm 91 into Action
Now that we understand the power of Psalm 91, let’s look at how we can put it into action in our lives.
The first step is to memorize the verses that resonate with us the most.
By doing so, we can easily recite them whenever we feel overwhelmed or fearful.
Putting personalized Psalm 91 into action involves weaving the promises of this sacred text into the fabric of our daily lives.
It’s about cultivating an unwavering trust in the divine protection and guidance that the Lord offers us.
Just as a bird finds refuge under the shelter of its parent’s wings, we seek refuge in the comforting embrace of God’s promises.
This means that in times of uncertainty or adversity, we remind ourselves of God’s ever-present shield and consciously choose faith over fear.
We navigate challenges with the assurance that no harm can touch us under His watchful eye.
This personalized Psalm 91 becomes our compass, directing our choices and decisions.
It encourages us to step forward boldly, knowing that we are not alone in this journey.
By living out the truths of personalized Psalm 91, we infuse our lives with a profound sense of security, enabling us to thrive amidst life’s ebb and flow.
Meditating on Psalm 91
The next step is to meditate on the Psalm and, really internalize its message.
We can read it slowly multiple times and reflect on its meaning.
When we do this, we open ourselves up to receiving the promises it offers.
Another way to put Psalm 91 into action is to use it as a foundation for our prayers.
We can take specific promises from the Psalm and pray them back to God.
This allows us to align our prayers with His word and receive the blessings He has promised.
When Adversity Strikes
When adversity strikes, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and powerless.
But by using personalized recitation of Psalm 91, you can tap into a powerful source of strength and inspiration that will enable you to face any challenge.
Take the time to understand and personalize this Psalm, and you’ll be amazed at the inner resources you’ll find.
Related: Tips-on-how-to-intentionally-pray-for-and-with-your-children.
So the next time you’re facing obstacles, recite your personalized Psalm 91 and see what a difference it can make.
By memorizing, meditating, and praying Psalm 91, we can put its promises into action in our lives.
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It allows us to move from a position of fear and doubt to one of faith and trust.
But Psalm 91 is not the only tool we have for overcoming adversity.
Let’s explore some additional tools in the next section.,
Additional Tools for Overcoming Adversity
In addition to utilizing Psalm 91 as a foundation for prayer, there are other tools we can use to overcome adversity.
One powerful tool, is the practice of gratitude.
When we focus on what we are thankful for, even in the midst of difficult circumstances, it can shift our perspective and help us find strength and hope.
You may like this simply thankful gratitude journal.
Another tool is the power of community.
Connecting with others who are going through similar struggles and being vulnerable about our own experiences can help us feel less alone and provide us with support and encouragement.
Exercise and self-care are also important tools for overcoming adversity.
Taking care of our physical and emotional well-being can give us the strength and energy we need to face challenges head-on.
Why personalize Psalm 91?
By personalizing Psalm 91, we are creating a deeper connection to the words, and the meaning behind them.
It allows us to make the scripture more relevant to our unique situations and experiences.
When we personalize Psalm 91, we are making it our own and tailoring it to fit our individual needs.
Additionally, personalizing Psalm 91 allows us to focus on specific areas where we need strength and protection.
For example, if we are struggling with financial difficulties, we can personalize the scripture to reflect our current situation.
By doing so, the words become more powerful and meaningful to us, and we can draw more strength and comfort from them.
Personalizing Psalm 91 also helps us to internalize the scripture and make it a part of our daily lives.
By reciting a personalized version of the scripture regularly, we are embedding the words and their meaning into our hearts and minds.
I know you would love 70 inspirational Dr. Charles Stanley’s quotes to ignite your faith and strengthen your soul.
This can help us to feel more grounded and connected to our faith, even in the face of adversity.
In short, personalizing Psalm 91 is a powerful tool for finding strength and resilience in the midst of adversity.
By making the scripture our own and tailoring it to fit our unique needs, we can draw more comfort and strength from its words.
In closing, personalized Psalm 91 is a powerful tool that can help us find strength in the midst of adversity.
By understanding the power of this Psalm and tailoring it to our specific situation, we can tap into a well of inner strength and inspiration.
Additionally, we can use additional tools such as meditation, positive self-talk, and seeking support to further overcome challenges.
Remember, the next time you’re facing obstacles, recite your personalized Psalm 91 and see what a difference it can make.
As the Psalm says, “You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.””For He will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease.”
So let’s take control of our lives and conquer adversity, one personalized Psalm at a time because “His faithful promises are your armor and protection.”
Short Prayer Using Psalm 91
“Lord, I take refuge in Your wings,
Under Your shelter, my heart sings.
Protect me from danger day and night,
In Your presence, I find my light.
Cover me with Your feathers of grace,
Guide me through life’s every pace.
No harm shall touch me, for You are near,
With You, O Lord, I have nothing to fear.
Thank You for Your love, steadfast and true,
In Your embrace, I find strength anew.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.”♥
70 Inspirational Charles Stanley Quotes to Ignite Your Faith and Strengthen Your Soul
Welcome to a world of inspiration and wisdom with Charles Stanley’s inspirational, uplifting and transformative quotes.
In times of adversity, uncertainty, and self-doubt, we often seek words of wisdom to restore our faith and find the strength to move forward.
Charles Stanley, a renowned pastor, author, and theologian, has been a beacon of hope for millions of individuals worldwide.
His profound teachings and encouraging words have touched the hearts of many.
Offering guidance and motivation to face life’s challenges with resilience and grace.
In this blog post, we present 70 inspirational quotes by Charles Stanley that will uplift your spirit, subsequently remind you of your inherent worth, and encourage you to embrace life’s journey with faith and courage.
You may also like Charles Stanley’s free audio book: How to let God solve your problems: 12 keys for finding clear guidance in life’s trials.
Charles Stanley, a preacher, teacher, and mentor, holds a special place in my heart as one of my all-time favorite spiritual guides.
His life and teachings have left an indelible mark on countless lives, including mine.
From the moment I first encountered his profound insights, I knew I had found a source of wisdom and inspiration that resonated deeply with my soul.
Charles Stanley’s gentle yet powerful presence consistently brings clarity to my spiritual journey, illuminating my path and fostering unshakable faith.
Dr. Charles Stanley has so many FREE audibles to help us grow in our faith.
Propelled by his unwavering commitment to biblical truths and genuine love for people, I’ve been inspired to cultivate a deeper relationship with God.
It motivates you to embrace life’s challenges with unwavering courage.
Through his sermons and writings, he continues to be a guiding light.
He keeps reminding me that no matter the circumstances, God’s grace is sufficient, and His love is unconditional.
Charles Stanley’s influence not only shaped my faith but also impacted countless others, marking him as a true instrument of God’s transformative love.
I personally love his Life Principles Bible and How to let God solve your problems.
Here are some of his words, straight from his mouth, that can make anyone find peace in the Lord.
70 Inspirational Charles Stanley Quotes to Ignite Your Faith and Strengthen Your Soul
I hope they minister to you as they do to me.
Enjoy!!!
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“Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object we’re waiting for.”
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“Fear stifles our thinking and actions. It creates indecisiveness that results in stagnation.”
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“Disappointment is inevitable. But to become discouraged, there’s a choice I make. God would never discourage me. He would always point me to himself to trust him.”
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“In every situation, God provides the strength to endure and the wisdom to navigate through it.”
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“The only way to learn strong faith is to endure great trials.”
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“Obey God and leave all the consequences to Him.”
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“God never leads us where He cannot keep us.”
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“God’s voice is still, and quiet and easily buried under an avalanche of clamor.”
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“The size of your faith isn’t measured by the absence of doubts, but by the presence of actions.”
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“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”
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“Instead of concentrating on your problems and getting discouraged, focus on God and meditate on His promises for you.”
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“The way you store up treasure in heaven is by investing in getting people there.”
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“Fear is a choice. You must choose not to allow it to steal your tomorrow.”
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“You will never ‘find’ time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.”
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“When God speaks, oftentimes His voice will call for an act of courage on our part.”
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“The time you spend alone with God will transform your character and increase your devotion.”
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“Faith is not just a belief; it is a way of life.”
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“When you live your life according to God’s principles, you will experience a level of joy, peace, and fulfillment that the world can’t give.”
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“Obstacles are opportunities for God to demonstrate His power.”
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“A strong faith enables us to trust God in the midst of adversity, even when we can’t understand what He’s doing.”
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“God never promises to remove us from our struggles. He does promise, however, to change the way we look at them.”
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“God’s Word is the only reliable mirror that reflects accurately who we are.”
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“We can be tired, weary, and emotionally distraught, but after spending time alone with God, we find that He injects into our bodies energy, power, and strength.”
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“God’s love is the only love big enough to forgive every sin.”
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“It is not our ability that God looks for. He’s looking for our availability.”
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“God’s ultimate goal for your life on earth is not comfort, but character development.”
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“The moment you wake up each morning, all your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists of shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in.”
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“God’s way is better than your way. His plan is bigger than your plan. His dream for your life is more significant than your dream.”
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“You may go through difficulty, hardship, or trial, but as long as you are anchored to Him, you will have hope.”
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“The best way in the world to deceive believers is to cloak a message in religious language and declare that it conveys some new insight from God.”
Charles Stanley’s wisdom has served as a guiding light for countless individuals seeking hope and encouragement in their lives.
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Through these 70 inspirational quotes, may you discover renewed strength, faith, and determination to courageously face life’s challenges, guided by a higher power.
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In times of adversity, turning to these words of wisdom offers reassurance, reminding you that you’re not alone, and urging forward momentum.
Moreover, as you embrace life with a positive mindset, trust that each obstacle becomes a chance for growth and self-discovery.
Here are 40 more inspirational quotes by Charles Stanley.
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“When we are in the midst of pain and suffering, we must remember that God is working something good out of it all.”
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“The battles we face are won on our knees, not with our fists.”
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“Never let the opinions of others define who you are. God’s opinion is the only one that truly matters.”
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“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light of God’s guiding hand.”
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“The key to a joyful life is not the absence of problems, but the presence of God’s grace in the midst of them.”
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“God’s love for you is not based on your performance, but on His unchanging character.”
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“The path to peace is paved with a humble and contrite heart before God.”
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“The more we rely on God’s strength and less on our own, the greater we will see His power at work in our lives.”
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“Happiness is fleeting, but the joy found in Christ is everlasting.”
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“Our Heavenly Father’s love is like a river; it flows freely and unconditionally, never-ending and life-giving.”
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“The greatest act of love is to lay down your life for others, just as Jesus did for us.”
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“God often uses our deepest pain as the launching pad for our greatest calling.”
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“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.”
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“When we pray, God hears more than we say, answers more than we ask, and gives more than we imagine.”
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“Faith is the confidence that God knows more about our situation than we do and is working it out for our good.”
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“God will never lead you to a place where His grace will not sustain you.”
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“God’s mercy is like a sunrise; it brings new hope and new beginnings every day.”
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“When you are in the center of God’s will, there is no safer place to be.”
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“The greatest legacy we can leave behind is a life well-lived for the glory of God.”
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“God’s plans for your life are always better than your own. Trust His timing and His ways.”
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“It’s not what you have in your pocket that makes you thankful, but what you have in your heart.”
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“Your life is a canvas, and God is the Master Artist. Let Him create a beautiful masterpiece out of your story.”
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“The more you trust God, the less you need to understand the ‘whys’ and ‘hows.’
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“God doesn’t promise a problem-free life, but He does promise to be with you every step of the way.”
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“Seek God above all else, and everything else will fall into place.”
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“God’s grace is the divine power that transforms brokenness into wholeness and darkness into light.”
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“A heart at peace with God can find peace in any circumstance.”
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“God’s love is not based on what you do, but on who He is.”
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“In God’s eyes, you are not defined by your past mistakes, but by the potential of your future.”
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“God’s mercy is the anchor that keeps us steady in the storms of life.”
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“We must remember that the shortest distance between our problems and their solutions is the distance between our knees and the floor.”
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“God is responsible for the consequences of our obedience, WE are responsible for the consequences of our disobedience”
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“From the world’s perspective, there are many places you can go to find comfort. But there is only one place you will find a hand to catch your tears and a heart to listen to your every longing. True peace comes only from God.”
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“God takes full responsibility for the life wholly devoted to Him.”
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“In times of defeat, we never know how close we are to victory. In every event of failure, God has planted a seed of success.”
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“Trusting God means looking beyond what we can see to what God sees.”
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“Fight all your battles on your knees, and you win every time.”
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“If you put your faith in yourself and your abilities, intellect and dreams, then your foundation is only as strong as you are.”
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“You must never sacrifice your relationship with God for the sake of a relationship with another person.”
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“God’s Word is absolutely true. You may not understand how God is going to bring about what He’s promised you, but He is keeping every promise that He has ever made. He will never deceive you or disappoint you, and He will never change His mind about what He’s told you.”
Charles Stanley’s insights on faith, trust, and God’s love deeply resonate across diverse lives.
Related: Powerful, Positive Monthly Affirmations for Courageous Faith.
Furthermore, these additional 40 quotes serve as a reminder of the importance of seeking God’s guidance.
They also serve as reminders of the importance of trusting in His plans, and finding strength in His boundless love.
May Charles Stanley’s quotes uplift your spirit and inspire confident steps along the path that God has set for you. ♥
The Lord is a friend to those who fear him. He teaches them His covenant. Psalm 25:14
Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly. Psalm 5:3
Let the Psalms above prepare your minds for what is to come.
These 56 powerful daily biblical affirmations for courageous faith can transform your life.
Biblical affirmations are not your regular “Positive Affirmations”; they are much more powerful, focused, and directional.
Biblical or Christian affirmations are based on God’s truth and power alone.
And NOT on what we as humans can do.
They are a mindset clean-up!
You may also like these free downloadable powerful monthly Biblical affirmations for courageous faith.
To be successful, you need a winning mindset. Get immediate access to your winning mindset bundle here.
An affirmation means to state or assert positively; to confirm or ratify that all is well.
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Biblical affirmations can eradicate negative feelings that can bring positive changes.
These unending angelic delights, like a glorious buffet of blessings, await on the other side. Click here to discover how.
Biblical affirmations, unlike positive affirmations, are based on the truths of Almighty God and are dependent on God’s strength, not ours.
They have the power to improve your outlook on life.
You may also like to learn how to pray specifically and expectantly for your children’s faith, character, safety, relationships, and future.
The Bible is filled with thousands of God’s promises.
For these promises to manifest in our lives, we must affirm and decree them; and believe them to be true.
Dive deeper into the Word with this.
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These affirmations and declarations are based on and implied by the Bible.
“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). This is one of my favorite Bible verses!
Has your own strength failed you? Have friends and family turned their backs on you? Do you feel lonely?
Are you feeling depressed and exasperated today? In despair?
Then cling unto God! Cling to Jesus! Nothing is impossible with Him.
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He is a friend that loves UNCONDITIONALLY and sticks closer and more tightly than anyone else.
Related: The 7 Day Miracle Prayer That Instantly Grants Your Heart’s Fiercest Desires.
The 7 Day Prayer Miracle is a detailed step-by-step blueprint that teaches how to pray effectively like Prophet Daniel did, and dwell in the realm of miracles.
Get immediate access to the 7day prayer miracle here.
Seek God’s guidance and wisdom first daily, and discover the power of prayer and affirmation.
He is the champion, above all champions, and the captain of your destiny.
Through Him, we live, breathe and have our being.
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It is my prayer that these powerful daily Biblical affirmations will minister to you in a very special way.
Enjoy it and have a Biblical & Christ-filled day!
For an in-depth understanding of what Biblical Affirmations are and their applications, please go to Powerful Monthly Biblical Affirmations for Courageous Faith.
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Positive Biblical affirmations are choiceful words that will add to, rather than subtract from, your life.
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You must separate yourself from your own strength, and must instead totally rely on God’s.
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Positive Biblical affirmations help me stay optimistic, focused, and grounded in the word and my faith.
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Positive Biblical affirmations are for everyone who is intentional about experiencing God in a higher dimension by recommitting yourself to God and following His direction.
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Unconfessed sin is a barrier to prayer. Confession not followed by repentance, and change is even worse. Please choose the best path.
“For the word of the Lord is right and true;
He is faithful in all he does.” Psalm 33:4
You may also like to learn how to pray specifically and expectantly for your children’s faith, character, safety, relationships, and future here.
I pray these 55+ powerful daily Biblical affirmations for courageous faith blesses your heart.
Please request your free printable below.
55 PLUS Powerful Godly Affirmations.
#1. The Word And The Almighty Order my Steps.
I Am Protected Under The Powerful Wings Of The Almighty.
“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him, I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. Psalms 91:14.
“But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head.” – Psalm 3:3
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#2. I Exhibit The Highest Level of Wisdom and Understanding In The Lord.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding…” Proverbs 3:5
“So we have not stopped praying for you since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will, and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding.” Colossians 1:9
#3. My Path Is Smooth And Purposeful.
“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” Psalm 16:6
#4. The Lord Renews My Strength Each Day.
“Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.” 1 Chronicles 16:11
#5. I Am Light, I Illuminate, And I Can’t Be Hidden. I am Strong In The Lord.
“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” – Matthew 5:16
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” – 2 Timothy 1:7
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#6. My Future Is Bright. The Evil Expectations Of My Enemies Shall Be Cut Short. My Future Is Filled With Unshakeable HOPE!
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
“Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.” Proverbs 23:18
#7. PEACE Surrounds Me. Peace That Surpasses All Understanding.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:6-8
#8. I Am Loved Unconditionally.
“For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39.
“For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
#9. I Am Good Enough. Nobody Can Make Me Feel Any Lesser Than I am.
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener… “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:1 & 5.
“Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.” Ephesians 1:4
#10. I Am Not Afraid. The Lord Is On My Side.
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7
“The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” Psalm 118:6.
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#11. I Forgive Myself And Others.
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15
#12. I Am Thankful And Grateful To God For My Life.
“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” Colossians 4:2.
“I will praise your mighty deeds, O Sovereign Lord. I will tell everyone that you alone are just.” Psalm 71:16
#13. I Have An Unshakable Belief That My Prayers Are Heard.
“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24
#14. God Is My BANNER (Jehovah-Nissi).
“Let him lead me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.” Songs of Solomon 2:4.
#15. God’s Purpose For My Life Stands Firm.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
#16. No Plans Of The Enemy Shall Prosper In My Life.
“And in Your lovingkindness, cut off my enemies, and destroy all those who afflict my soul, For I am Your servant.” Psalm 143:12
“Though I am surrounded by troubles, you will protect me from the anger of my enemies. You reach out your hand, and the power of your right hand saves me.” Psalm 138:7
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#17. I Will Not Go Back To Where I Came From.
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14
#18. I Am An Overcomer. I Am Victorious!
“But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:57
#19. My Today and Tomorrow Will Be Greater Than My Yesterday.
“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
“But forget all that— it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19
#20. I Am The Apple of God’s Eye.
“He found him in a desert land, and in the howling waste of the wilderness; he encircled him, he cared for him, he kept him as the apple of his eye.” Deuteronomy 32:10
#21. I Shall Lack Nothing.
“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19
#22. I Am More Than A Conqueror.
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31
#23. I Am Shielded And Lifted (Protected).
“But you, O LORD, are a shield around me; you are my glory, the one who holds my head high.” Psalm 3:3
#24. I Experience The Lord’s Goodness And Miraculous Ways.
“For every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be rejected, if it is received with thanksgiving.” I Timothy 4:4
#25. I Will Taste The Power And Goodness of The Lord.
“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” Psalm 34:8
#26. I Walk In MIRACLES.
Since my youth, God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Psalm 71:17
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#27. I Am Not Who I Used To Be.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
#28. I Can Get Through Anything I’m Going Through. Pain Is Not Permanent. No Negative Condition Is Permanent.
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Roman 8:18
#29. God Will Take Me Where No One Else Can. I Depend On God ALONE.
“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalm 55:22
#30. The Lord Is My HELPER.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
“The Lord will work out his plans for my life—for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me.” Psalm 138:8
#31. My DESTINY Is Secure. Today, I Choose JOY!
“It is the Lord who directs your life, for each step you take is ordained by God to bring you closer to your destiny. So much of your life, then, remains a mystery!” Proverbs 20:24
#32. I Am Fearless And Brave.
“So have no fear of them, for nothing is covered that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.” Matthew 10:26
“I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.
Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.” Psalm 34:4-5
#33. I Have UNSHAKABLE Faith.
“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7
You may also like these monthly powerful biblical affirmations for courageous faith.
#34. I Will Put My TRUST And CONFIDENCE In God.
“Trust in the Lord forever, for in YAH, the Lord, is everlasting strength.” Isaiah 26:4
“Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits.” Psalm 103:2
#35. I Am Strong And Courageous.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
#36. God Knows My name. He Recognizes Me.
“I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.” John 10:14-15
You may also like 12 powerful thanksgiving Psalms and Prayers to pray over your family.
#37. I Shall NOT Be Moved.
“Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever…” Psalm 125:1
#38. God Always Makes A Way For Me.
“God arms me with strength,
and he makes my way perfect.” “You have made a wide path for my feet
to keep them from slipping.” Psalm 18:32, 36
“Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is trustworthy in all his promises and faithful in all he does.” Psalm 145:13
#39. God Orders My Steps.
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
#40. The Lord’s Drawn Bloodline Surrounds Me.
“My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold, and my refuge, my savior; you save me from violence. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” 2 Samuel 22:3-4
#41. I Have Peace That Surpasses All Understanding.
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ…” Psalm 5:1
#42. I Shall Not Be Shamed.
“Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you.”Isaiah 54:4
You may also like how to manifest God’s Blessings by tuning in to the God Frequency.
#43. God Is Always With Me.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” Psalm 9:9-10
#44. The Lord, My God, Will Be With Me Wherever I Go.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
#45. My Plans Will Succeed Because I Depend On The Lord.
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” Proverbs 16:3
#46. I am Forgiven. The Blood Of Jesus Purifies Me.
“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace…” Ephesians 1:7.
“O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive,
so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help.” Psalm 86:5
#47. When I Call Upon The Lord, He Listens, He Hears.
“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:12-13.
“Listen closely to my prayer, O Lord; hear my urgent cry. I will call to you whenever I’m in trouble, and you will answer me.” Psalm 86: 6-7
#48. I Delight Myself In The Lord, Therefore, He Will Give Me The Desires Of My Heart.
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
#49. I Am Content. God Is My Provider.
“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philipians 4:19
“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:4
#49. I Will Reap The Fruits Of My Labor.
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Proverbs 16:3
You may also like tips on how to intentionally pray for and with your children.
#50. My Children Will Fulfill Their Destiny.
“All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children.” Isaiah 54:13
“Behold, I and the children whom the LORD hath given me are for signs and for wonders …….” Isaiah 8:18
Discover how to pray specifically and expectantly for your children’s faith, character, safety, relationships, and future here.
#51. I Am Blessed And Highly Favored.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” Ephesians 1:3
#52. I Am Healed And Made Whole Continually.
He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3.
“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’declares the Lord..” Jeremiah 30:17
#53. I Live with Intention And Purpose.
“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” 2 Peter 1:3
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.”Proverbs 3:5-8
#54. The Lord Supports My Endeavors.
“May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion.” Psalm 20:2
#55. God Will Come To My Aid When I’m In Trouble.
“May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.” Psalm 20:1
You may also like the 4 Sentence Prayer That Instantly Grants Your Heart’s Fiercest Desires.
#56. Today Will End In Praise.
“Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us! What joy!” Psalm 126:3.
“And my tongue shall speak of Your righteousness, and of Your praise all the day long.” Psalm 35:28
May The Lord, our God, guide you continually today and forever.
May He be a mighty shield over you and your loved ones.
“Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.” Psalm 25:4-5
May every enterprise of yours be successful.
May God’s mercy and grace accompany you wherever you go.
“The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.” Lamentations 3:22
May all your expectations and prayer requests turn into mega testimonies.
May The Lord grant your heart desires. Now and forever. Amen.
Be sure to get your free Biblical affirmations printable below, so you can be reminded of who you are in the Lord daily.
Stay blessed and favored always. ♥
How to Get Over Resentment in a Relationship.
Resentment in a relationship is like an invisible wall or a cancer that starts off small and then spreads!
If you’ve lived any length of time on this confusing and conflicted planet, you know that people hurt each other.
We all make mistakes or selfishly cause harm.
Even starry-eyed lovers or marriage partners, who have committed their lives to one another, mess up sometimes.
Sometimes, these mess ups are allowed to linger for a long time without getting settled.
The affection you once had gets replaced by resentment.
Negative reoccurring thoughts can linger for a very long time.
Get our 15 minutes a day to a HAPPIER, HEALTHIER and LONGER life here now.
Overcoming resentment in a relationship can be hard, but it is possible.
The relationship can improve and get better when hearts are willing to change.
That’s why it’s critical to pay attention to learning about overcoming resentment.
You must take time to discover ways to overcome resentment towards your partner.
Related:
♦How do I Make my Relationship Stay Strong – 16 ways.
♦Best Christian Marriage Advice For Newlyweds: 31 + Tips.
What in the world is resentment?
What causes resentment in a relationship?
Yourdictionary.com defines resentment as “A feeling of anger or displeasure stemming from the belief that one has been wronged by others or betrayed; indignation.”
Resentment is a negative emotional reaction to some perceived negative behavior.
It is one of the most common challenges many couples face.
“Resentment is like drinking poison, and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” Nelson Mandela
When someone we love and trust has hurt us deeply or injured us, we often hold onto those wrongs.
When those issues are not resolved, they can lead to resentment in a relationship.
Resentment often occurs in couples when one or both of them feel hurt or offended by the other, and presume their actions were deliberate.
Acknowledging that what the person did was not appropriate, we feel we must vindicate ourselves and provide justice and resolution.
Unmet expectations often cause resentment.
Resentment can also be triggered when a partner perceives their voices are not being heard, or when one party wants to be right all the time, or when one feels unappreciated.
Repeated instances of the same negative behavior often compound the feeling of resentment in a relationship.
She hoped he would give her flowers, but he just gave her a card.
He hoped she would help hand him tools while he worked on the car, but she stayed inside.
She wished he would listen with deep understanding and kindness, but instead he said, “What’s the big deal?”
When our expectations and real life clash, resentment often forms.
Resentment often feels deeply justified.
Resentment is a choice. While you cannot control what others say or do, you can control how you react to it.
While we admit we should avoid lashing out in harmful anger, hurtful words, and hateful explosions, we feel that there is nothing wrong with resentment.
We may feel very justified about our lingering disappointment in the way someone treated us.
This results in reoccurring negative feelings. The relationship slowly becomes distant and stale.
Couples begin to talk less and avoid each other. Any brief encounter turns into an argument.
In this article, we are going to tell you some ways to overcome resentment and past hurts, so you can be free to love again.
We wouldn’t say we are “angry,” rather we simply say “upset,” “irritated,” “dissatisfied,” or “discontent.”
However, while these subtle forms of anger may be less harmful to others, they are every bit as harmful to ourselves.
David Powlison, in his book, Good and Angry, puts it this way: “Quiet brooding, defensive withdrawal, judgmental thoughts, low-grade irritability, a critical attitude, avoiding outright conflict, indifference to reparable wrongs—these are just my less dramatic brands of an anger problem.”
When you resent someone, you hold onto that person’s hurtful actions and refuse to let go.
In your mind, you carry that person around with you everywhere you go.
You never really forget what they did to you.
It’s always in the back of your mind.
It’s like they’re with you constantly.
This negative presence haunts you, follows you around, hinders your creativity and sucks the life out of you.
Because of the associated negative emotions, it’s critically important to find out how to release resentment.
So how do you go about addressing the issue?
How do you save your relationship?
Is your relationship worth fighting for?
The following steps will help you dig a little deeper and find the causes of your resentment.
It will also suggest some steps you can utilize to initiate the healing process in your relationship with your partner.
#1 step on how to overcome resentment in a relationship is to Vulnerably Express What Matters to You
Being honest, transparent and open with your partner about the core or root of your anger and resentment are the first steps.
We can never overemphasize the importance of communication in any relationship.
David Powlison explains, “Whether the tremor [of anger and resentment] is mild or fierce on the emotional Richter scale, the common denominator operates inside.
The degree to which something matters to you, and the degree to which it cuts you to the quick, will intensify or diminish your emotional fire.”
In other words, the more something matters to us, the angrier we will be when something is not right in that area.
For example, people who care a lot about a certain team or a certain political party become angry when their team does not win.
A mother who cares a lot about her child’s success may become angry when the child does not work hard on homework.
Or when a teacher does not recognize his or her potential.
If a relationship matters to you deeply, you will be more likely to become angry and resentful when the other person hurts you or does not appreciate you.
In fact, anger and resentment are good clues as to how important that person is to you.
Like a temperature gauge, your anger shows you what matters to you.
If you didn’t care, you probably wouldn’t be angry!
Related: Small love gestures that keep a relationship going strong.
Express to your partner, “You matter to me so much. That’s why I feel angry and resentful that we couldn’t spend special time together last week.”
Say, “I care about hearing your feelings. I resent the fact that you don’t talk to me more.”
Your relationship is worth fighting for.
The Bible says in Ephesians 4:31 that we should “Put away from yourselves every kind of malicious bitterness.”
#2. Face Shame and Contempt Head On
An important key to releasing resentment in a relationship is dealing with shame.
Shame is the fear of disconnection and abandonment that stems from our belief about who we are as a person.
This painful feeling of abandonment and disconnection is terrifying to partners.
Shame causes us to feel hurt by the actions that were truly not intended to hurt us.
Because we feel shame about our neediness and our vulnerability, we avoid bringing up these painful situations to our partners.
We don’t feel like we can voice our own needs, wants, and desires.
It feels too scary to voice our hurt.
Instead, a deep resentment begins to build.
Talking honestly to your partner and other safe people, and reading books on shame, like ‘Soul of Shame’ by Curt Thompson, can be important keys to eliminating and releasing resentment in marriage.
Also, talk to your doctor if you feel your resentment is getting out of hand. They may refer you to a Psychiatrist, Psychologist, or a relationship counselor.
#3. Understand Gridlocked Conflicts
The Gottman Institute has come to a startling conclusion that some conflicts are impossible to resolve.
They don’t mean we should pessimistically despair when we have conflicts.
Rather, they urge couples to recognize the difference between solvable conflicts and perpetual problems.
Solvable problems are simple logistical challenges or differences of opinion that can be fixed by discussing them.
Unsolvable problems, however, are clashes between personalities or values that will come up over and over again and will never truly go away.
Some couples work endlessly to try to solve these problems, running themselves into corners, becoming defensive, being angry, or shutting down completely.
These perpetual problems are a common source of building resentment.
After attempting for a time to solve problems, couples become resentful and lose hope.
Instead, Gottman suggests approaching these issues and topics with continuing dialogue.
He recommends “humor, affection, and even amusement, to actively cope with the unresolvable problem, rather than allowing it to fall into the condition of gridlock.”
Check out the content here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/managing-conflict-solvable-vs-perpetual-problems/
Being honest about unsolvable problems can help you not to waste time and energy worrying about things that cannot be changed.
Gottman urges you not to waste mental energy with resentment, stress, and anger.
Let these things go, stop mulling over them, have a curious and humorous approach, and continue talking.
At the same time, recognizing that you don’t need to continue fighting about these personality differences that will probably never go away completely.
Recognize and accept that these differences are a part of who your partner is.
Understanding your spouse’s love language could be the first step towards making things better.
#4. Keep the Lines of Communication Open
As you learn how to release resentment in marriage, don’t keep your insights to yourself.
You have discovered how to overcome shame in your own life.
You also know how to release hurt and confusion.
Similarly, you know how to laugh affectionately over perpetual problems.
Don’t forget to bring your partner into the discussion.
Share what you have learned.
Be vulnerable in terms of your own shame, your own feelings, your weaknesses and your personality differences.
If you have been hurt by your partner, express that hurt to him or her as openly and simply as you can–with words.
David Powlison asks of partners, “Why can’t they talk over the miscommunication and disappointment in a constructive way?
Why don’t they communicate their desires and hurt without adding large doses of hostility and self-righteousness?”
The reason is that we are afraid.
We don’t know how our partner will receive our honest admission of our shame and the true hurt our partner’s actions have caused us.
Despite the fear that vulnerability engenders, it is worth the risk.
Vulnerability tends to breed vulnerability.
As you share with your partner, you may find that he or she gains a softer heart, more open to your needs and is more willing to share his or her own needs.
Talk to your partner. Also listen to your partner.
Empathetic listening promotes positive communication.
As you do so, you may discover that the things that you perceived to be so hurtful, the very things that you harbor so much resentment, were not intended to cause harm.
You may begin to see your partner in a different light, understanding the vulnerabilities of your spouse that caused him or her to act the way they did.
As you grasp the fact that your partner did not mean to hurt you, your heart will soften and the resentment will start to melt away.
#5. Perform a Ceremony of Letting Go of Resentment
Sometimes we simply can’t work through every single hurt.
No matter how much we talk, discuss, understand, or contemplate, those conflicts may never be completely solved.
It becomes humanly impossible, but God possible. He promises never to leave or forsake us.
When we turn to our Lord genuinely and seek for help, He hears us, and He responds in a supernatural way.
You may never completely understand what happened within a certain conflict.
Your partner also may not completely understand your view, no matter how hard he or she tries.
That’s ok.
During those times, it’s important to forgive, let go, and move on.
Try to practice deep empathy and forgiveness without reservations.
An important step of releasing resentment in a relationship is finding tangible ways to express your forgiveness.
Colossians 3:13 says, “make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
Instead of demanding perfection in our relationships, we need to be more patient in accommodating each other’s oddities and quirks.
We are reminded many times in the Bible that God had forgiven us.
Our sins are gone when we confess them and receive The Lord as our savior.
In the same way, we are instructed to forgive others.
People could let go of their fear, shame, and guilt, because their sins had been carried far away.
In the same way, we can perform ceremonies to represent letting go of resentment, hurt, self-deprecation, pain, and anger.
Harriet Hill suggests writing pains, hurts, and bad memories on slips of paper and taking them to the foot of a wooden cross, representing Jesus’ death for our sins.
After you write the source of your anger and resentment on slips of paper, and leave them at the foot of the cross, burn the papers.
Or, nail it to the cross and leave it there!
Jesus not only died for our sins, but He also carried our pain and shame.
We can take our pain, resentment, anger, shame, and hurt to Him.
Even though it takes a while to stop hurting, we can release our resentment and forgive those who have hurt us.
Between yourself and God, share a time of letting go of the hurt.
Releasing resentment in a relationship is a gradual process.
As you work patiently over time to learn how to release resentment in your marriage or relationship, you will discover you experience more freedom daily.
Pray for God’s wisdom and intervention as you practice these steps, understanding that He has the power to change anyone and any situation.
You can respond to anger and resentment with patience and peace that comes from the Prince of Peace.
Which of these ways to overcoming resentment resonated with you the most deeply?
Will you take time today to journal about one or more of these points?
Best Reasons Why We Should Always Pray.
Why should Christians pray at all times?
If you’ve been in a romantic relationship for any length of time, you’ve probably experienced the power of focused presence.
When both partners turn their hearts, minds, and emotions towards one another, a powerful dynamic emerges.
We naturally make time for the people we love, right?
Can you imagine the power of inviting God into that connection?
There are many reasons why we should pray.
Through praying with your spouse or significant other, you can turn your heart towards God and your spouse.
Not only will you consciously engage your spouse in loving connection, but you will also invite God into the relationship.
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Let’s find out more as we discover why Christians should pray at all times.
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Why Should Christians Pray at All Times?
Charles Spurgeon said, “Prayer is the slim nerve that moves the muscles of omnipotence.”
Prayer is a mysterious and powerful tool God has given humans.
Related: Best Tips on How to Live Intentionally Everyday
Through prayer, we can influence His decisions and actions in this world and in our lives.
In addition, prayer brings us closer to God. It is primarily a relationship with our heavenly father (Romans 8:15).
Paul Miller says, “A praying life isn’t something you accomplish in a year. It is a journey of a lifetime. The same is true of learning how to love your spouse or a good friend… there is far too much depth in people to be able to capture love easily. Likewise, there is far too much depth in God to capture prayer easily.”
Prayer is a lifelong intentional journey of getting to know and experience our heavenly Father.
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What is Prayer?
Prayer is a relational connection between God and humans. Our relationship to God is both personal and communal.
It’s the simple act of talking to God through His son, Jesus Christ, and it’s so much more than that.
Most people enjoy spending time with their friends.
They may go to the movies, take a walk, chat about life, or go to coffee.
Time together may involve lengthy conversations or just enjoying being together.
In the same way, prayer is our way of connecting with God.
Sometimes, we connect through words. At other times, we abide in His presence in silence.
Prayer is the way that we give God the gift of presence and connection, and enjoy His presence in return.
We all want our close friends and family to give us the gift of presence.
Steve Call, in his book, Reconnect, points out that gaze aversion is a subtle form of rejection.
He says, “Gaze aversion can be a momentary looking away, such as reading a text message during a conversation. It can also be prolonged distraction or preoccupation, which precludes emotional and/or physical presence.”
Gaze aversion can be distressing for either a member of a friendship or relationship.
When we pray, we focus our spirits, hearts, minds, and faces towards God, and show Him that we love Him.
In Jeremiah 2:27, God expresses the pain He felt when His people turned their gaze away from Him. “They have turned their backs to me and not their faces; yet when they are in trouble, they say, ‘Come and save us!’”
God wants us to not only cry to him when we are in trouble, but to focus our hearts on him at all times.
“Pray without ceasing” means a continual turning towards God in love.
– Help people to manifest God’s blessings by tuning into the God frequency.
Different Types of Prayer
All prayer is talking to God, but there are different varieties of prayer that will help us connect with God through the different activities and seasons of life.
Short Prayer
It’s fun to travel, work side by side, or accomplish a project with a friend.
Even if most of your conversation happens in short sound bites in between tasks, it’s still fulfilling to spend time together.
Those 30-second conversations make the difference between a lonely day of boring tasks and a meaningful time of shared effort.
In the same way, we can invite God into our everyday life through quick conversations with Him.
We can let Him know what we enjoy, what’s hard for us, and what we’re thinking about our everyday circumstances.
“Pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) encapsulates this kind of constant conversation with God.
Unhurried, Intensive Prayer
Quick prayers are an important way to stay connected with God throughout the day.
You check in with God while you’re working, caring for kids, and going about your day-to-day life.
Simultaneously, all relationships benefit from longer, unhurried conversations as well.
With friends or romantic partners that are truly important to us, we make a set aside time in our busy schedule to truly get into deep conversation.
Related: Tips on how to intentionally pray for and with your children.
Whether that’s a walk on the beach or an unhurried meeting over coffee, those long conversations add depth to a relationship.
In the same way, it’s important to take time to talk to God in a more focused way.
Later, we’ll talk a bit more about how to do this special time with God.
A time of unhurried prayer is so critical, because we show God how much He means to us.
Our lives become so hurried and harried.
We rush from one activity to another.
Our short, sound-bite prayers become impersonal.
Our relationship begins to take on the feel of college roommates who say hi as they rush from one thing to another.
Unhurried prayer gives us time to show God, He is important to us.
And it gives us time to truly accept how much He yearns to spend time with us as well.
Contemplative Prayer: Resting in God and Meditating on God
Another important element that will help us feel connected to God is contemplative prayer.
Though contemplative prayer has been the subject of some amount of controversy in Christian circles, it aligns closely with the concept of meditation that is frequently commanded in the word of God.
Several passages encourage us to meditate on God.
Psalm 119:147-148 says, “I rise before dawn and cry for help; in Your word I have put my hope. My eyes anticipate the watches of night, that I may meditate on Your word.”
Still other verses command believers to rest in the Lord. Psalm 37:7 encourages believers to rest, or be still, before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.
In meditation or contemplative prayer, we still our souls before the Lord.
We focus mindfully on connecting our heart with God’s.
Instead of frantically begging Him for our needs, we center our minds on a truth of His word.
For several minutes, we bring our mind back to that truth whenever it wanders.
We reach out to God with short phrases, like, “Lord, I love you so much.” “My hope and trust are in You.”
We seek to let go of the stress of our daily lives and reignite the connection with God.
Prayers with Others
Praying with other believers was an important element in the early church’s worship.
Acts 2:42 described how the believers devoted themselves to worship, eating, and praying together.
One of the most encouraging elements of the believer’s life is praying with others.
Moms in Prayer offer an excellent, global program that helps bring moms together to pray for their kids and their schools.
As a couple, you have an automatic prayer group!
Jesus said that “where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” Matthew 18:20
It is necessary for you as a couple to take time to pray together.
Praying bonds you as a couple and gives you a shared purpose.
It gives you an opportunity to observe God answer your mutual prayers.
Why not start today?
When Do We Pray?
Why should Christians pray at all times?
God wants prayer to be as natural as breathing.
He wants us to abide in His presence throughout the day (John 15:4).
The psalmist describes how he even prayed during the night.
Psalm 63:6 says, “On my bed, I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.”
God wants us to talk to Him and think of Him throughout the day and night.
We pray to God through Jesus Christ in the morning, afternoon, evening, before meals, at night, while driving, at work, in private, in God’s house, etc.
Evidently, it means we can pray anytime!
Related: Powerful Monthly, Biblical Affirmations for Courageous Faith.
How Do We Pray?
Related: Powerful Thanksgiving Psalms and Prayers…..
When you meet with God personally, find a quiet place where you will not be distracted by technology or friends.
Get the privacy you need to pour out your heart to your heavenly Father.
Pull out all the stops and really dig into your relationship with God.
Like you would plan for a special date with your partner, take the time to prepare for your time with God.
Learn all you can about getting the most out of prayer.
#1. Adoration/Praise.
Praising God for His character helps us focus on the truth of God in the midst of our crazy lives.
Sometimes, our minds get frozen in negative patterns. We begin to believe that our situation is truly hopeless.
When we praise God for His attributes, our hearts are lifted above the difficulties of life to remember who God is.
Moms in Prayer, an international organization that brings women together in focused prayer, provides excellent prayer guides that focus on God’s attributes.
Every prayer session starts out with specific praise for one of God’s attributes.
#2. After praising God for His character, we can transition into thanking Him for specific things He has done for us.
Breathe deeply and turn your mind to the good things in your life.
Rather than focusing on the stress, the disease, the relational problem, or the upcoming challenge, contemplate His goodness.
Did He answer a prayer?
Did He provide food and shelter? Can you remember a pleasant conversation you had with a friend?
Each of these is a gift of God’s goodness! Thank Him for what He has done.
#3. Daily, we wander from God’s goals for us. His desire is for us to love Him with all our hearts, adore Him with all our souls, and be enamored with Him with our entire mind and strength.
But we often fail to meet His best for us.
After reminding ourselves of the beautiful and wonderful God we serve, we can confess the way we’ve wandered from His plans.
We can be assured that through the blood of His Son, He will cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
#4. Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is an important key to prayer.
Sometimes, our prayers are weak and even wordless. We have no idea what to pray. The Holy Spirit acts as our senior partner and helper.
In her book, Liturgy of the Ordinary, Tish Warren describes the way she prays during challenging times: “I couldn’t find words, but I could kneel. I could submit to God through my knees, and I’d lift my hands to hold up an ache: a fleshy, unnameable longing that I carried around my ribs. I’d offer up an aching body with my hands, my knees, my tears, my lifted eyes. My body led in prayer and led me—all of me, eventually even my words—into prayer.”
During those times, we must remember that the Holy Spirit is praying right along with us.
Romans 8:26 says, “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”
When all we can do is throw our bodies before Him in a wordless prayer, God’s Spirit translates our wants and needs before the throne of God.
#5. Supplication/Petition/Intercession.
Petition, supplication, and intercession describe the act of begging God’s mercy for ourselves and others.
As a part of our deep, intensive prayer focus, prayer cards can help you bring specific friends and family to the throne of God.
Paul Miller, in his book, A Praying Life, advises making a prayer card for each family member, friend, pastor, or coworker in your sphere of influence.
On the card, write a few basic categories or verses you are going to use to pray for that person long-term.
Other people enjoy having a prayer document on the computer.
A Word Doc or Google Doc can be easily searched, edited, and updated as new prayer requests come to the forefront.
You can also color code the prayer requests for each person, adding answered prayers and updates as needed.
Still, others use a prayer app to help them keep track of their prayers.
No matter the specific approach you use, invest some time into making your special time with God worthwhile.
In conclusion, prayer is one of the most important ingredients to a growing marriage, any relationship and any family.
The adage says, “Couples who pray together, stay together.”
While this may seem overly simplistic, there is undeniable power in praying together with your spouse.
As you begin to discover the sweetness of praying with your family, you will begin to understand why Christians should pray at all times.
Why not start today?
May you stay steadfast and blessed as you continually seek Him.♥
My Top 15 Best Essential Oils That Help and Heal.
Relax and enjoy my top 15 best essential oils that help and heal!
Some individuals nowadays think of aromatherapy as just a different indulgent exercise the privileged few enjoy.
Click here for a copy of your journal to a Better YOU.
But upon taking the time to delve deeper, I have found a whole new prospect relating to the diversified uses of aromatherapy.
The popularity of Aromatherapy has risen in recent years.
In this article, you will get a better insight into essential oils and aromatherapy.
You will also learn how to identify and buy quality oils, how to dilute and use them safely for a healthier and happier you.
Take a peek at my core balancing essential oils.
This all-inclusive masterpiece has over 120 aromatherapy and EO remedies to restore mind, body, and spirit.
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What exactly is aromatherapy?
Aromatherapy is the practice of using oils from plant extracts for medicinal, relaxation, and aromatic purposes.
Chiefly known for its calming properties, aromatherapy techniques also advocate the utilization of various essential oils to comfort the mind and body.
If you’ve been wondering what essential oils are, worry no more.
I’m going to give you an overview of what it is and how it can be of benefit to you and your entire family.
So, what is an Essential Oil?
An EO is a highly volatile concentrated compound extracted from certain plants.
The oils in every EO capture each plant’s scent or “essence.”
Answers to any questions you can’t get from this content can be found in this ‘essential oil tell it all.’
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The associated unique aromatic compounds give each plant its characteristic essence that makes up its essential oil.
Although essential oils for the most part, are still linked to the idea of a relaxing therapeutic massage session, there are many more recent uses today.
Research shows EOs can be helpful, but people have to know how to use them correctly.
How are Essential Oils Obtained?
The most common method for essential oil production is through steam distillation.
Another method is mechanical, including cold pressing.
Once the oil is extracted, it is full of aroma.
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The oil is either stored alone or in combination with carrier oils.
At this point, the oil is ready to use.
These aromatherapy shower bomb melts are Ah—mazing!
You will be amazed at the wide range of natural benefits from my top best 15 essential oils that help and heal.
15 Essential Oils That
Help And Heal
The History of Essential Oils
The application of aromatherapy with essential oils dates back to 3500 BC.
EOs have been used since ancient times to help the body and soothe the mind.
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History has it that the actual birthplace of essential oils and aromatherapy as we know it today is Ancient Egypt.
Ancient Egyptians cultivated plants for their oils and used them for religious, cosmetic, and medicinal purposes.
India, China, ancient Greek, and the Romans followed suit.
Exploring herbs and aromatic plants soon became an integral part of the Indian Ayurvedic medical system.
People used essential oils in those days, mainly for relaxation, hygiene, healing, and also for general health promotion.
Today, however, many people are trying to get back to nature.
The use of all-natural essential oils for medicinal, cosmetic, and therapeutic purposes continues to grow.
Many people have found the benefits and results of using aromatherapy to be far greater than human-manufactured medications.
They, by far have fewer adverse side effects.
With the increase in health and wellness promotion, essential oils have become perfect for practicing self-care and relieving stress.
You may also like – Self-Care: 17 ways to take better care of yourself.
What are Essential Oils Used For?
The uses, benefits, and possibilities of EOs are endless.
Essential oils are known for their versatility of use.
Essential oils are used and may be combined with other ingredients to produce fragrances, lotions, other cosmetics, skin care and hair care products.
Now, I’m going to discuss my best EOs that help and heal.
The applications of EOs are very diverse.
Their versatility of use also is what has made them an everyday staple in many modern homes.
People most frequently use essential oils in aromatherapy through inhalation and topical application.
With aromatherapy, they are inhaled through various methods, like via the use of a diffuser container, spray, oil droplets, and steam baths.
Aromatherapy with essential oils has several other benefits in addition to a pleasant smell.
Advantages of aromatherapy oils include mood improvement, concentration, decongestion, relaxation, and sleep improvement.
Today, many spas use aromatherapy to enhance the pleasant experiences of their clients.
The use of essential oils and aromatherapy, however, does not end there.
Many other application methods include diffusers, massage oils, inhalers, baths, and teas, but are not limited to them.
Therapeutic Essential oils and oil blends can also be produced for specific therapeutic purposes, such as
-Relieving muscle soreness,
-Minimizing the occurrence of acne,
-Fighting infections,
-Treating wounds,
-Repelling insects,
-Hair growth,
-Reducing winter blisters, and much more.
Are Essential Oils Safe? Here are some Essential Oil Safety Tips
As EO popularity and market continue to grow, concerns as to whether they are altogether safe also continue to grow.
These concerns are validated by the fact that EOs are highly concentrated and potent plant extracts.
You have to be cautious and read label directions for each oil before use.
Dr. Scott Johnson empowers individuals on the safety profiles for over 200 integrative remedies with this.
Essential oils are also highly flammable substances therefore they should be kept away from direct contact with some elements.
By all means keep EOs away from elements like flames, gas cookers, candles, fire, matches, and cigarettes.
It is advised not to apply essential oils directly into the eyes, ears, nose, or other sensitive areas of the skin.
Also, keep all essential oils out of sight and reach of small children and pets.
Are you taking any supplements, vitamins or medications?
Yes, no, maybe?
If yes, then hear this.
EOs should NOT be taken by mouth because it can interact with other medications or supplements with potential damage to the kidneys and liver.
The American Association of Naturopathic Physicians advises against using EOs on babies under three months old.
Before using EOs topically, it is very advisable to do an allergy test first, and this is how you do it.
• Dilute the essential oil in a carrier oil at 2 times the concentration of oil you plan to use.
• On the inside of the forearm, rub the mixture into an area the size of a quarter.
If within 24 to 48 hours, you don’t notice any allergic reaction like a rapid onset of pain and redness of the skin or other skin irritations, you can assume it’s safe to use.
How do You Dilute Essential Oils?
Why should these essential oils be diluted?
Wouldn’t it be more beneficial to dab a few drops on your skin?
Nay, nay, please don’t do that!
EOs are highly concentrated and volatile.
They should be diluted with another safe carrier substance to make them safer to apply and, to facilitate absorption.
Some recommended safe substances include; water, carrier oils, and skincare oils like Jojoba, Argan, sweet almond, Rosehip, liquid soap, and unscented lotion.
Essential oil dilution is very important to avoid skin reactions and systemic toxicity.
Essential oils dilution guide recommendations
The National Association for Holistic Aromatherapy (NAHA) recommends a safe dilution ratio of 2.5 to 5% percent for adults.
NAHA recommends .5 to 1% (3-6 drops) dilution for babies three months and older.
Dilution rates are the amount of essential oils per one ounce of base oil.
The higher the percentage, the more likely you are to have a reaction, so it’s important to mix them correctly.
I love the versatility of essential oils.
As active advocates of alternative health therapies, we use EOs a lot in our home because of the countless benefits.
Because one essential oil can serve so many purposes, I’ve found that we have saved a lot of money making essential oils a staple in our home.
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I have personally found essential oils to be beneficial to elevate moods, promote relaxation, increase focus, and bring on feelings of peace and tranquility.
Here are my top 15 Essential Oils that help and heal and some of their benefits.
#1. Lavender Essential Oil (Lavandula Augustifolia)
Lavender Oil is an incredibly popular essential oil that can help and heal in so many ways.
It is a non-toxic and non-irritant essential oil.
It is best known for its relaxation properties.
There is a lot of research that supports lavender oil’s ability to relieve insomnia, stress, and anxiety.
But it doesn’t stop there!
Lavender essential oil, like most of the oils on this list, is a multipurpose oil.
It is believed to have anti-inflammatory, antifungal, antidepressant, antiseptic, antibacterial, and antimicrobial properties.
Lavender EO also has antispasmodic, analgesic, detoxifying, hypotensive, and sedative effects.
This purple flowering plant can soothe wounds and alleviate pain.
According to WebMD, “One small study found that lavender essential oil relieved soreness and redness for women who had episiotomies.
Another study showed that inhaling lavender essence, is believed to ease the pain from C-section childbirth.”
At home, we like to put a few drops of this oil in a diffuser at bed time.
One more way we love to use it is to add it to our massage oil or lotion.
The aroma of the lavender essential oil makes us feel relaxed, calm, and helps to ward off insomnia.
#2. Rosemary Essential Oil
Rosemary Oil comes from the rosemary herb, which is commonly used as a food seasoning.
It has anti-microbial, anti-inflammatory, and antioxidant properties, resulting in numerous benefits for hair and skin.
Research of rosemary oil has shown that it can improve brain function, specifically, focus and memory, when inhaled.
My daughter loves to add rosemary oil to her diffuser when she is studying.
She acknowledges that it makes her more focused and alert, and aids in information recall.
Many people say that rosemary oil strengthens their hair and promotes hair growth.
This is something my family has definitely experienced.
Research has even shown that it helps fight alopecia and other types of hair loss.
We have noticed a boost in our hair growth after adding rosemary oil to our hair care regimen.
We mix it with a carrier oil such as Jamaican black castor oil and massage it directly onto our scalp.
You can also add it your conditioner and other hair products for added hair growth boost.
#3. Tea Tree Essential Oil (Maleleuca Alternifolia)
Tea tree essential oil visibly smooths out the skin and reduces inflammation.
Research has shown that when mixed with a carrier oil, like coconut or jojoba oil, tea tree EO can be used topically as a lotion to alleviate acne and nail fungus.
This herbal/tea tree toothpaste has become a necessity in my morning routine.
Hygiene – my family’s favorite body wash contains tea tree oil. It helps fight body acne and leaves a refreshing feeling.
Antifungal – Tea tree oil is an excellent anti-fungal product.
It is also an excellent natural alternative treatment for yeast infections.
Natural Deodorant – Do you know that sweat itself does not smell, but it is when sweat combines with bacteria on your skin that an odor is produced?
Tea tree oil’s antibacterial properties make it an ideal natural alternative to commercial deodorants.
As an Antiseptic for minor cuts and scrapes – tea tree oil can be used to treat and disinfect minor cuts by killing bacteria.
#4. Sandalwood Essential Oil (Santalum)
Apart from being a classic, the rich scent found in many cosmetics, soaps, perfumes, and cologne’s are attributed to sandalwood oil.
It offers some astonishing health benefits as well.
One of its top benefits is the promotion of smooth and supple skin.
It also serves as a guard against skin cancer.
Sandalwood oil is widely used in Ayurveda and traditional Chinese medicine to combat acne and reduce large pores.
People believe that sandalwood can be beneficial in treating disorders like fatigue, bronchitis, anxiety, insomnia, low libido, and UTI (urinary tract infection).
It also serves to brighten and even out dull, splotchy skin.
We use sandalwood essential oil as one of the key ingredients in our DIY facial mask.
Guess what happens when you use it to steam your face?
Vibrant, sleek and rejuvenated skin is revealed.
#5. Peppermint Essential Oil (Mentha piperita)
Peppermint essential oil is made up or extracted from menthol family plants.
This is one of my favorite EOs that help and heal.
Its fresh, cool, minty scent makes it a favorite of so many people.
It can relieve tension headaches when applied topically.
Peppermint EO also promotes digestion and freshens breath.
Its menthol content and scent are both invigorating to the senses and promote alertness and energy.
I find it helpful for relieving headaches, joint, and muscle pain.
I love mixing peppermint oil into my hair products because it stimulates and invigorates the scalp.
#6. Sweet Orange Oil (Citrus Sinensis)
Sweet orange oil is associated with the Citrus family.
Just like fresh oranges, the scent is very uplifting.
It can be used for many applications.
Some of its uses and benefits include;
-
Lifts your mood and reduces stress
-
Treats skin conditions such as acne
-
Prevents the growth of fungi and bacteria
-
Reduces pain and inflammation
-
Relieves an upset stomach
-
A natural household cleaner
-
Adds a pleasant scent to any room
-
Adds scent to products like perfumes and cleaners
-
Gives flavor to a variety of foods and beverages
However, when used in aromatherapy, sweet orange EO acts as an excellent mood and energy booster.
I love to add this scent to my diffuser early in the morning to give myself a great start.
Another tip is to add it EO to your favorite cleanser for a refreshing effect to your morning routine.
This essential oil is a great promoter of happy and warm feelings!
#7. Lemon Essential Oil
Lemon EO is extracted from the peel of, you guessed it – Lemons.
It is one of the most widely used fruits in the world.
Not to mention that it is one of my best essential oils that help and heal.
It is a very versatile oil as you go from using it in your cleaning products to using it on your skin.
When used as aromatherapy, lemon oil can relieve morning sickness symptoms including nausea and vomiting significantly.
Research shows inhaling it can also combat anxiety and depression.
Lemon oil also has amazing skin brightening effects.
Diluted lemon EO applied topically to corns and calluses helps with the inflammation and soothes rough skin.
#8. Eucalyptus Essential Oil
Eucalyptus essential oil is one of the exceptionally soothing essential oils that help and heal.
This EO is commonly used in spas and massage parlors because of its relaxing effect.
Eucalyptus oil inhalation is also a natural proven way to relieve symptoms of cough, flu and sore throat, as it opens the airway.
I love mixing this oil with body lotions and applying it to my chest.
I also like to add it to my diffuser anytime I have cold symptoms.
Eucalyptus oil usually blends well with peppermint oil for diffusion.
#9. Chamomile Essential Oil
Chamomile EO is another oil that has impressive soothing qualities.
For centuries, it’s been used to promote healthy sleep as well as combat anxiety.
As it promotes a good sleep, I like to add this oil to my diffuser whenever I find it difficult to sleep.
Likewise, people have said it is effective in the management of eczema.
#10. Clary Sage Oil (Salvia Sclera)
Clary sage is an herb found mainly in the Mediterranean.
This EO is also known by the name “eye-bright” because it is traditionally used to treat eye related ailments.
When used in aromatherapy, clary sage is a great agent for stress relief.
Also, studies have shown that it can even reduce high blood pressure!
When clary sage is topically applied, it serves as a natural way to reduce menstrual cramps, balance, mood and emotions.
This EO can also alleviate menopausal symptoms. It supports hormonal balance.
#11. Frankincense Essential Oil
In ancient times, frankincense was often used as an incense.
Because of its uplifting and earthy scent, it is perfect for spiritual connectedness.
Hence, it was one of the gifts the wise men gave to our Lord Jesus Christ in (Matthew 2:11) in the Bible.
This oil was considered one of the purest oils of that time.
Today, frankincense is still used to improve spiritual practices, such as in prayer and meditation.
In fact, when I add this oil to my diffuser, I feel spiritually uplifted.
Frankincense EO creates an atmosphere of comfort and safety.
#12. Myrrh Essential Oil (Commiphora Myrrha)
Myrrh essential oil has long been associated with spirituality and strength.
It is also mentioned a couple of times in the Holy Bible.
Not to mention that it was one of the gifts our Lord received at birth.
Three king gifts from the Magi to Jesus Christ are still reverenced today.
Often, in combination with frankincense, myrrh was used in places of worship as incense and perfume to purify the air.
By the same token, Myrrh EO is associated with preventing the spread of contagious diseases.
Diffusing myrrh oil can also help relieve nervous tension, thereby helping you to feel stronger.
In addition, this essential oil is believed to boost immunity.
Some people also use it to alleviate coughs, colds, and soothe the digestive system.
Myrrh EO is often recommended and used as a self-care regimen for meditation and relaxation.
It is one of my best essential oils that help and heal.
#13. Cedarwood Essential Oil (Cedrus Atlantica)
Cedarwood EO is one my best essential oils that help and heal.
It has a pleasant woody aroma.
As a matter of fact, it is derived from the Atlas cedar tree.
It is useful in Ayurvedic skin care as it helps soothe skin irritation.
Cedar wood oil also helps with itchiness, and redness because it has antibacterial and antifungal properties.
#14. Cinnamon Essential Oil (Cinnamomum Zeylanicum)
Cinnamon essential oil can fill the atmosphere with a warm autumn, pumpkin pie spice scent.
This EO has a variety of health benefits related to the skin, the immune system, and brain function.
Cinnamon EO is therefore one of the most potent antifungal, antiviral, antiseptic, and antibacterial oil available today.
It is used in aromatherapy for deep relaxation to the body, the joints, and the brain.
#15. Patchouli Essential Oil (Pogostemon Cablin)
Patchouli essential oil is commonly and widely used in aromatherapy.
Mainly because it has a strong, sweet yet spicy and musky scent.
It is also used as an ingredient in incense and perfume, as well as in skin care products.
This EO is uniquely obtained from the leaves and stems of patchouli plants.
Patchouli essential oil offers various health benefits.
Not to mention it can be used for treating skin conditions like dermatitis, acne, and dry, cracked skin.
It is also said to relieve colds, headaches, anxiety, depression, and stomach upset.
How Do We Use Essential Oils?
The options of how to implement essential oils are as diverse as the benefits.
• The most common way to use EOs is through aromatherapy via straight inhalation, a diffuser, or a humidifier.
• Essential oils can also be applied to the skin and the hair.
Word of caution, though!
Because some EOs are highly concentrated, they should not be applied directly to the skin.
If you are using EO topically, it is recommended to dilute it with a carrier oil like sweet almond oil or castor oil.
Similarly, you may also prefer to use these alternative carriers or base oils;
• Olive oil • Jojoba Oil * Grapeseed Oil * Avocado Oil
• Argan Oil • Moringa Oil * Neem oil *Coconut Oil.
There are so many essential oils to choose from, that’s why the potential benefits are basically exponential!
I arrange all my essential oils in this organizer. It is suitable for travel too.
I hope this list of my favorite essential oils that help and heal can help you to narrow down your search.
Hopefully, just a whiff of their fragrance can help elevate your mood and make your day better.
There is no standardized grading system for essential oils yet, so you have to trust yourself to choose well.
The FDA does not regulate EOs, so you have to decide the best place to buy your essential oils.
In addition, some companies may falsely claim their oils are pure when they aren’t.
Reading reviews of each oil before actually buying can be helpful too.
My advice is to be sure to do your research on any brand, the company as well, to ensure that you are buying pure and good quality oils.
What do you think about my top 15 best EOs that help and heal?
Have you tried any of these essential oils?
Do you have an EO you like to use that isn’t on this list?
Why don’t you share your ideas?
Please share your thoughts in the comments section below!
Sending lots of love and positivity your way ♥.
Stay Blessed!
Medical Disclaimer.
Notes/references
- Tisserand, R., and Balacs, T. (1995). Essential Oil Safety. New York: Churchill Livingstone.
- Burfield, T. (2000). Safety of Essential Oils. International Journal of Aromatherapy, Vol 10.1/2
- Schnaubelt, K. (2004). Aromatherapy Lifestyle. San Rafael, CA: Terra Linda Scent.
- Battaglia, S. (2002). The Complete Guide to Aromatherapy. Australia: International Centre of Holistic Aromatherapy.
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At some point in our lives, we must decide to identify our purpose in life.
-
Related: Best reasons why we should always pray.
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Living an intentional life lead towards living a purposeful life.
-
You must know what you want out of life for a start. Intentional living is way much more than a YOGA BURN that leads to a lighter, healthier & happier life.
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It is like your personal vision. It is like taking stock of your life NOW and deciding whether the things you are investing your time and resources into are worth it.
-
“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” -Carl Bard
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More importantly, how do they bring glory to God? You must prayerfully ask for God’s guidance in identifying your purpose in life.
-
Always ask yourself, WHY am I doing this?
-
If there’s no reasonable WHY or if it’s difficult for example to identify WHY you are in a relationship or WHY you are spending so much time with a particular friend, or WHY you keep watching this particular show, if there’s no fulfillment at all, then guess what? It’s time to shift gears and start doing things differently.
-
It’s time to start making changes that will align with your core values. These changes will bring about long-lasting happiness and feelings of fulfillment
-
Here Are Some Tips on How to Live Intentionally.
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Improve the PRESENT
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Forget the PAST
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Spend quality time studying the word of God and things of the Lord
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Associate more with genuine children of God. Iron sharpens iron
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Have a positive mindset
-
Be sensitive to time always. Do not waste time on anything unproductive. Time waits for no one
-
Here are 56 cards that offer simple and easy-to-do daily practices.
-
Integrate them into your life and you can have powerful results and uncover sustainable happiness. Get these mindful living card decks
-
Be purposeful with your time and resources
-
You can never pray too much. There’s always something to pray about
-
Your Children will be fine. Pray more. Don’t Overlook any evil. Encourage and Uplift them more
-
Don’t allow stress to get in the way of the good things in your life.
-
Teen Stress?? – Using these stress reduction cards, your TEEN will find lasting relief from stress so you and they can focus on their fabulous future!
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Teach your children by example. Don’t expect them to do what you say. Let them see you practicing what you preach.
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Live in the PRESENT. The past is gone. You can change and make the present and future better
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Worry Less. Take your worries and anxiety to God!
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Most battles are won on your knees with strategic, proactive, and progressive prayers.
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Trust in God TOTALLY
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Be KIND to the UNKIND
-
Show lots of GRACE to your spouse and children, even when they seem impossible to contain. It will pay off by HIS grace.
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#1 You may also like – Powerful Monthly, Biblical Affirmations For Courageous Faith
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Avoid and/or get rid of All toxic relationships
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Surround yourself with friends and relationships that build you up
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Think before you speak. It’s hard to retrieve bad words and the hurt they cause
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Don’t live in self-pity
-
Don’t think or imagine that the grass is greener on the other side
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No condition is permanent and no relationship is perfect. Work on !
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Create purposeful and practical long and short term goals
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Believe in Miracles and expect them to happen in your life and also to work for you
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Honor your parents always. This is the only commandment with a promise!! Tell your children this too:)
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Never give up
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Be a cheerful giver. Give and don’t expect anything in return. The Lord will reward you big time!
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Keep trying until you succeed. Never quit! Never give up quickly! Persevere my friend.
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Don’t underestimate the power you have as a woman and the strength you have as a man.
-
Control your tongue
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Celebrate other people’s successes in order to attract yours
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Be yourself, don’t try to please people
-
Appreciate your spouse or fiance. Do not take them for granted
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Evaluate your friends, if all you do is evil together, the relationship won’t last. The friendship will end when God changes one of you
-
Bring Clarity to your relationships instead of confusion. Avoid making assumptions
-
Learn the 12 best secrets to a long-lasting relationship
-
Stay away from gossip and gossipers
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Have a true and reliable accountability partner
-
Be mindful of the media you fix your eyes and mind on
-
Respect whoever writes your paycheck
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Forgive, forgive, forgive for your own good
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Be the best you can be
-
#2 You May Also Like – Self Care – 17 Best Ways to Take Better Care of Yourself
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Treat your body right. Take care of God’s temple. Don’t put bad stuff into your body. Stay away from bad habits
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Be at ease with yourself
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Respect and love your parents notwithstanding their disposition
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Don’t think too highly of yourself. You didn’t make yourself
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Have a budget and stick to it
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Always have an emergency fund for the rainy day
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Live frugally. Save, save, invest, invest
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Buy what you ‘need’ not what you ‘want.’ Ask ‘why’ before you buy
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My dear friends, your intentionality can only grow if you focus on being intentional. You must identify what you want, have a clear, focused picture, and an action plan.
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Are you looking for ways to be intentional in your life? Are your core values based on God’s word and truths? Or anyone else’s?
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I would really, really love to hear about one or two of the daily tips you plan to use from now to become more intentional. Please let me know in the comments. I will really appreciate it.
As always, I’m sending lots of love, and positivity your way. Stay continually blessed………..♥
Small Love Gestures that Keep a Relationship Going Strong.
You may have seen the catchphrase, “It’s the small moments that make life big,” plastered in a sentimental scrapbook or posted beside a baby photo on social media.
But have you ever taken the time to think carefully about the truth behind this statement?
We often work, labor, and stress to achieve great moments: a vacation, a college degree, or a great milestone.
But we don’t take the time to realize that each everyday experience with our friends, spouses, and children are the stuff of life.
The love dare is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love.
It’s the small love gestures that keep any relationship going good.
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Without the little things, the big achievements will have no significance.
Here are some small love gestures and tips you can put in practice every day to show your spouse or partner that you love them.
These are proven strategies that can work no matter what season your relationship is going through.
You may also like the 4 seasons of marriage: secrets to a lasting marriage.
These small love gestures don’t take a lot of time or money.
Some of them just take a second or two of your time but have lasting positive effects on your relationship.
They can help you and your spouse weather through the fall and winter seasons of marriage.
They can have a monumental effect to bond you and your spouse together as one happy couple.
Do you know what your partner’s love language is? Find out here.
Let’s look at some of the best simple love gestures that can keep a marriage going strong.
#1. Simple Smile
A simple smile is one of the small gestures for a happier relationship.
Dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin -AKA “happiness hormones” are all released when you smile.
These happiness hormones are associated with stress reduction, bonding, and relaxation.
A smile can have a powerful effect on your happiness and on your relationships.
One source says that more feel-good chemicals are released from a single smile than when receiving a large sum of money.
Give your partner a simple smile.
It’s a simple, painless, and free way to improve your quality of life. Show that you are truly happy to see him or her. Take the time to smile.
It’s the small things that matter. A Heartfelt smile is a small love gesture that can get the best out of your partner.
You may also like 12 best secrets to a long-lasting relationship.
#2. Say Thank you. Appreciate your Mate
A married couple with nearly forty years of experience shares that one of the most meaningful small things in their marriage was thankfulness.
The husband thanked his wife for the daily chores and small tasks she performed for the family.
Every day, he thanked her for the delicious meals she created.
By example, they taught their children to cultivate a habit of thankfulness.
Saying thank you is another example of small love gestures that make a big difference.
#3. Ask Questions
Ask questions instead of making assumptions.
Engage your spouse in a meaningful conversation.
Show you care by asking about their day. You can ask as soon as they get home or over dinner.
Do a simple online search for conversation starters for couples, then bring those questions into your daily life.
Here’s a link to 100 questions that every couple needs in their relationship – the questions were specifically designed to build trust, openness, and eventually feelings of deep intimacy.
Don’t just rotate in the same ruts that you’ve always used.
Try to bring in new topics of conversation and learn something new about your spouse every day.
Asking your partner about their day is a small love gesture that shows that you care.
#4. Surprise Your Partner With gifts As a Love Gesture
Listen to your spouse’s conversation and try to tune into the small nuances that provide clues to the things they like and dislike.
Then surprise them with gifts “just because.” It will bring a smile to your spouse’s face.
Meaningful gift ideas include flowers, gourmet chocolates, special cookies, perfumes/colognes, or anything that can make their day special.
Essential oils – EO, is not a woman’s only thing anymore.
Men love them too! Essential oils are great gift ideas. Topped with a classy diffuser and a pure organic carrier.
Hmmm, these can really spice things up.
#5. Show Your Spouse You Are Thinking of Them
Sometimes the most powerful small love gestures include showing that someone that you are thinking about them.
You can surprise her by having lunch delivered to her job. You can out of the blues, prepare his favorite dish.
A Chocolatier Gold Ballotin is always a good gift idea.
Just sacrifice a little to make them feel special.
Even if your spouse does not respond, send him or her a text during the day, letting them know you are thinking of them and praying for them.
Remember the events that your spouse has scheduled for the day, and ask how those things are going.
#6. Simple Touch
Simple touch means a brief, playful touch that brings connection.
Pat their shoulder, caress their hair, do a special handshake, or give a brief kiss or hug.
Do these rituals daily to enrich your life.
RELATED: How do I make my relationship stay strong – 16 Ways.
Reach out and make the first move. Show your spouse you care and want to connect.
#7. Create Daily Rituals In Your Relationship
Every relationship should have rhythms and patterns of connection.
These patterns lend stability to relationships.
Check-in every morning over coffee. Hold hands and pray. Call each other at lunchtime and check-in.
Take time each week to go over that week’s schedule and pray together over your week.
Doing your rituals on a regular, recurring basis will help you and your spouse feel safe.
Becky Bailey calls these rituals of connection, “I Love You Rituals.”
She says that “I Love You Rituals” contains four ingredients: playfulness, simple touch, presence, and gentle eye contact.
While most of her I Love You Rituals are geared for adults connecting with children, partners can incorporate the same principles into their interactions with one another.
Are you truly present with your spouse during that quick kiss? Do you touch them gently, look fondly into their eyes, and express playfulness and joy?
It’s these little things that matter.
#8. Respond To Your Spouse’s “Bids.”
Dr. Steve Call says that couples are constantly sending out “bids” for attention.
Here’s a link to Dr. Calls’ “reconnect: insights and tools for cultivating meaningful connection in your marriage.”
Like a slight nose-scratch or cough from a bidder at an auction, some of these bids are subtle and hard to notice.
Nonetheless, spouses are constantly asking one another for connection in small ways.
It’s important to notice and respond positively to your spouse’s bid for attention.
If they hint at going out to eat, taking a walk, chatting about the day, or playing a board game, make sure you don’t brush off this small invitation.
Notice their “bid” for attention and respond with kindness.
If you’re not available right then, make sure you schedule another time when the two of you could connect.
If you make a habit of dismissing or ignoring your spouse’s bids, she or he may stop asking, and your relationship will suffer.
You may also like How do I make my relationship stay strong – 16 Ways.
#9. Give Them Wildflowers
How about finding a small bouquet of lovely sweet peas, daisies, trumpet vine, or daffodils?
Wildflowers are a small but significant way to add beauty and love to your spouse’s life.
Even if not expensive, a small love gesture like this shows your spouse that you took time and effort to show them that you care about them.
Wildflowers are another example of small things that matter.
#10. Say “I Love You.”
Sometimes we assume that others know that we love them. But the words matter.
Many songs have been written on the importance of verbalizing our love.
Sometimes, we realize too late that we should have been more diligent about speaking love out loud.
Ron Hamilton’s song reminds us, “Life is but a vapor, quickly vanishing away.
Wait until tomorrow and your change may flee away.
Give a fragrant flower while its beauty still can charm. Give a kiss to warm the longing heart.
Say ‘I love you’ while the heart can feel. Say ‘I love you’ while the heat can heal.
Make a heart rejoice, give your love a voice. Speak the words while you can say ‘I love you.’”
The Bible says it’s the little things that matter. “For who has despised the day of small things?” God asks in Zechariah 4:10.
God says that the tiny mustard seed can grow into a giant tree (Mark 4:10).
A tiny bit of yeast can spread through an entire lump of dough (Matthew 13:33).
On the flip side, a tiny negative word of anger or hatred can spread, causing great destruction and devastation (James 3:5).
It’s worth our time to make sure that the small moments in marriage are healthy, beautiful, and nurturing to our spouse.
It’s not the heart-stopping moments of romance, the breathtaking honeymoon destinations, or the great accomplishments that make a marriage successful.
Without small moments of love and daily tenderness, any marriage or relationship quickly becomes difficult and suffocating.
Take time today to cultivate small things that matter.
In the end, you will find that your small investments will pay giant dividends.
Now that you got the picture, what’s your action plan?
You are in this for the long run, so do your part, keep it real and allow peace, happiness, and love to reign!
What do you think? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
Sending lots of love, positivity, and blessings your way:).
How To Approach Your Dream Girl And Land A Date.
What do you say when approaching a girl you would like to date?
How do you approach your dream girl?
What if she rejects you?
Using this proven tool can help get these hurdles out of the way.
In this article you will learn how to charge up your batteries, start your engines and approach your dream girl.
You may also like how do I make my relationship stay strong – 16 ways?
How do you approach your dream girl to land a date if you are shy and don’t know what to say?
We are about to show you how!
She walks into the room and instantly your heart melts.
You’re not sure if it’s her smile, her confidence, or her kind demeanor, but there’s something about her that makes you wish you were closer to her.
When you think about approaching her, however, you’re stuck.
You don’t want to say the wrong words or be super awkward and turn her off.
You’re deeply afraid of being rejected, and there’s nothing more terrible than being on the other side of rejection…
This is a scenario that you may know too well.
God desires us to be whole, especially before we enter into a serious relationship.
Learn how to become the right one before meeting the right one.
“Dating for the Socially Awkward: Overcome social anxiety and gain the confidence to get the girl you desire” by Jouhzu, is a total self-improvement journey.
The thought of being with your crush brings you feelings of excitement, yet the idea of initiating things with them brings feelings of discomfort and dread.
You’ve had opportunity after opportunity to approach your dream girl and ask her out, but each time you find yourself stumbling over your words, unable to truly articulate your attraction to her.
•If you lack self-confidence out of fear, then this will keep you believing in yourself and help you in attracting a great partner.
Michael Todd in his bestseller book provides a guide to finding lasting love with a Christian approach. Here’s the link to this incredible book; Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex.
Asking a girl out is a challenge for many men. The fear and anxiety of rejection is enough to make a man do without a woman he really cares for.
There’s no foolproof guide on how to ask the girl of your dreams on a date.
You have to try different approaches.
We are all blessed with a unique combination of qualities, preferences, and social styles; there simply can’t be one perfect way of approaching someone.
In any endeavor of life, the hidden teachings of Christ will teach you how you can shape your world easily and quickly.
This post is not meant to be a rule book, but rather a collection of tips you can use to better yourself and your mindset when approaching the woman of your heart.
Let’s dive into some of the tips you can utilize to approach your dream girl and probably land a date.
#1. Know Your value
The first tip on how to approach your dream girl is to know yourself and your value.
One thing a man must strive to have before they approach anything in life is a sense of self-worth.
In order to confidently approach a woman, you must know you have something valuable to bring to the table.
You may also like ‘Best tips on how to live intentionally every day.’
1 Corinthians 1:5 says that “By Him, you are enriched in everything, in all speech, and in all knowledge…”
As a child of God, you are full of worth and value.
In today’s world, men have a lot of pressures that can drive them to insecurity.
The world tends to determine a man’s value solely by how much money he has, his social status, and how many women are attracted to him.
There is barely any emphasis on his attributes, such as his character or his beliefs.
If a man does not have one of these superficial attributes, he may battle with the feeling he is not good enough for the woman he admires.
This is why it’s essential to have an internal sense of value.
Part of having self-confidence is being well-groomed. Check out these links that can help you look and feel your best:)
•Michael Todd Beauty – Charcoal Detox Deep Pore Gel Cleanser, Formulated with Highly Absorbent Activated Charcoal, Tea Tree and Botanical Extracts.
•100% Natural & Organic Beard Kit for Men Grooming & Care W/Beard Wash/Shampoo, 2 Packs Beard Growth Oil, Beard Balm Leave-in Conditioner, Beard Comb, Beard Brush, Beard Scissor.
•Every Man Jack Body Wash, Eucalyptus Mint.
You may not have all the money in the world or may not be the most popular guy in the room, but these are not things that make a person, and limit a person to external validation.
The only person’s validation you require is God’s and your own.
You are more than money or status, you are filled with kindness, valor, and intelligence, and much more!
When you understand you possess a combination of unique God-given qualities, you realize you are more than enough for your dream girl.
When you become secure in the fact that you have so much to offer, the thought of initiating a date with the woman of your dreams seems less daunting.
Women appreciate a man that is sure of himself and his God-given strengths-it’s an indication of the great partner he’ll be.
An additional word of advice though, there is a thin line between arrogance and confidence.
Being sure of yourself does not mean you should forget about the importance of being humble.
Humility and Confidence work hand in hand.
#2. Be Observant
Most people, whether it’s a man or a woman, appreciate when they feel someone took the time to notice little things about them.
Being observant to detail is another tip on how to approach your dream girl.
Whether you take note of how she takes her coffee in the morning, her favorite past time, or the genre of music she loves to listen to, using the knowledge you gain can go a long way.
Ten Secrets for the Man in the Mirror: Startling Ideas About True Happiness by Patrick Morley challenges men to get beyond the surface happiness.
A woman is most likely not going to be impressed solely by your attraction for her.
Instead, she’ll appreciate the fact that you delved beyond that attraction and endeavored to get to know her as a person.
Strike up a conversation about her favorite song or ask a question about the book she’s reading.
This is an almost sure way of communicating your interest in her without focusing solely on physical attraction.
Paying attention to details can also serve as a great way to get ideas for that date you want to ask her on.
Imagine that after careful observation, you notice your crush loves art.
Asking her out to an art museum or a painting class would be met with much more interest and enthusiasm than if you blindly suggested something else.
#3. Form a Friendship
Forming a solid friendship is another tip on how to approach your dream girl.
I know, I know. You probably rolled your eyes when you read that.
Why would you set yourself up for the awful, dreaded, friend zone? However, the key to a successful relationship is a strong friendship.
• Oprah Love Expert Reveals the Secrets For You To Have the Relationship of Your Dreams.
Earlier, we discussed how being observant could help put you in the position to ask your dream girl on a date.
Some aspects of a person, though, can’t be inferred from observation so much as it can from the regular conversation.
By forming a friendship with your potential date, you stand the chance of really getting to know her.
And by getting to know her, you increase your chances of landing a date.
There’re even more advantages to forming a friendship with your crush: A friendship tears down walls and creates comfort.
Remember when you first met your ideal woman and how hard it was to form complete sentences around her?
Maybe with time, it got a little easier to say a few words, although the thought of asking her on a date still makes you anxious.
With time and continued proximity, you got a little more comfortable.
Imagine if you two formed a friendship. That type of bond would definitely make you feel more comfortable around her and allow you to be yourself.
When we approach each other in a climate of friendship, we do not have the pressure to be accepted or rejected.
•She gets to learn more about you.
Friendship is not only an opportunity for you to learn more about your dream partner, but also an avenue for her to get to know you.
Perhaps you have common interests or admirable strengths.
Perhaps you have quirks or mannerisms that she could find adorable.
A friendship is an opportunity to present who you are without the added pressure to perform. It’s an organic, healthy way of allowing all aspects of you to shine.
•You get to see if there is actual compatibility.
For the longest, you’ve admired your crush from afar.
You’ve observed some things, had a few conversations here and there, but every interaction has been only on the surface.
You don’t know enough about her to gauge whether you’re genuinely a match.
While dating is a way to gauge if there is an affinity for one another, a friendship does the same, but with an added benefit- there is no pressure.
When you decide to pursue a genuine friendship, you don’t have to worry about performing or making grand gestures that may not be organic.
#4. Show Her The Respect She Deserves
Romans 12:10 says to “Love one another with brotherly affection.”
It is essential to treat all of our fellow humans with respect, and this extends to your dream girl or woman you want in your life as well.
In a world full of patriarchy and misogyny, women don’t always get the respect they deserve.
Unfortunately, some women end up with dates and partners who also won’t extend that respect.
RELATED: How to know if you are in a toxic relationship.
The number one way to turn a woman off is to show clear disrespect for her and her boundaries.
Without love, the woman reacts without respect, and without respect, the man reacts without love. This initiates a painful and negative cycle in any relationship.
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ book on love and respect is a great resource for anyone interested in a long-lasting relationship.
This is the link to the book – Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs.
Every woman is different and has their own code that they live by. It is your responsibility to acknowledge that code and do your best to honor it.
Failure to do so can make you lose the possibility of dating your dream girl, and worse, can land you in big trouble.
#5. Be Genuine About Your Intentions
People have different intentions for asking their dream girl on a date.
Perhaps you are looking for friendship, a casual date, or are looking to pursue a full-fledged relationship.
It’s essential that you are honest to yourself and to your woman of interest about your intentions for asking her out.
RELATED: 12 Best Secrets to a long-lasting relationship.
Don’t put on a charade because you feel it’s the only way to get her to go on a date with you.
Riches and honor and life are the remuneration of humility and of the fear of the LORD. – Proverbs 22:4.
Dwight Moody talks about how God promotes honest and humble men in his book, “Daniel, Man of God: Being a Man of Character in a Babylon World.”
While this can get you the date, you’ve wanted, it can have disastrous results as well.
In his book “No Excuses,” Dr. Tony Evans “urges men to stop looking at their circumstances as excuses and instead to see them as challenges and opportunities for success.”
Be a man of honesty and integrity, and you will attract the woman of your dreams!
#6. Invite Her To Church
One way to get a good woman to gravitate towards you is to include her in personal activities that don’t have an air of expectation.
One great way to form a friendship and easing communication between you and your crush is to invite them to church with you.
It can be something more intimate such as a bible study, or it could be a mid-week or a Sunday service.
This is a good time to get a good study bible –NLT Life Application Study Bible, and a daily devotional-New Morning Mercies: A Daily Gospel Devotional specifically for men.
This is a great way for you to connect with her on a spiritual level.
The 5 Love Languages for Men: Tools for Making a Good Relationship Great by Gary Chapman teaches you how to master what matters in a relationship.
Maybe you could connect over your mutual love for similar worship styles.
Or perhaps the pastor’s topic of the day could strike up a deep conversation.
Most importantly, inviting her to something personal and intimate like a church is an excellent way of communicating how important she is to you.
You wouldn’t invite just anyone to church with you, to be amongst you and the people you fellowship with.
This is a great segue to asking her out because when you do, she’ll know it’s not just a superficial date you’re asking for; you really want to connect with her on a deeper level.
#7. Communicate Clearly
Always work on being the best communicator you can.
When you do get around to asking your dream girl on a date, it will take clear communication so she can have a good idea of what your intentions are.
Good communication is one of the things that keeps a relationship intact.
This best seller with excellent reviews offers the best tips on crucial conversations. Here’s the link; Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High.
Whether you strike up an initial friendship or simply ask her out, good communication is key.
Sometimes, being an excellent communicator is hard for people because of the amount of vulnerability it entails.
Most people have a fear of opening up themselves to rejection or being the subject of negative judgment, so they tend to avoid directly communicating their wants, feelings, or thoughts to protect themselves.
Unfortunately, there is no set way of avoiding rejection or negative judgment.
When you open yourself up to someone, you’re taking a risk. However, the potential gains from clear communication greatly outweigh the potential losses.
Communicating clearly ties back to your security in who you are as a person.
When you are confident in who you are and know your value, it’s easier to put yourself in a vulnerable position.
Regardless of the outcome, you know that you are a man of valor, and any woman would be lucky to go on a date with you.
If they accept it, excellent. If they don’t, it’s their loss.
A good woman will have a deep appreciation for a man who is willing to go out on a limb to communicate his intent and feelings.
Don’t hesitate to communicate clearly. Be true to yourself and to what you feel in your heart.
#8. Just Do it- Ask her out!
Your dream girl could end up being your soulmate.
She could end up being the partner that God created for you.
Dr. Tony Evans, in his book, Kingdom Man, Every Man’s Destiny, Every Woman’s Dream, is a guide that empowers men to rise up without intimidation to take up their God-ordained roles.
But you will never experience that if you don’t ask.
Step beyond your fears and doubts and go for what you want.
No one ever got the love of their life by just standing idle.
Put yourself out there, and if it is meant to be, it will be!
I’ll end this post with some pick-up lines that are sure to lighten the mood.
Maybe you can use one of these lines on that special someone!
-
“Last night, I was reading the book of Numbers, and I realized I didn’t have your number.”
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“Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives … He never met you!”
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“I didn’t know that the angels were flying so low. “
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“I’m not Joseph; maybe you can help me interpret the dreams I had about you?”
-
“Is it hot here, or is it just the Holy Spirit burning in you?” “
-
“How many times do I have to turn you around for you to fall in love with me?” “
-
“I didn’t believe in predestination before today.”
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“Is it a transfiguration? Because you are radiant. “
-
“Excuse me, but I believe that one of your ribs belongs to me.”
-
“Is it a sin to have stolen my heart? “
-
“What is your name and number for me to add you to my “prayer list? “
-
“Normally, I am not very prophetic, but I can see us together.”
Asking out the girl of your dreams does not have to be a scary, daunting task.
The tips here can help you to approach your dream girl with success.
This post was meant to remind you that you are a great catch, and God has blessed you with wonderful qualities any good woman can appreciate.
Strive to be the best person you can be.
Learn to be a good communicator, to be sensitive and attentive, and to be completely confident in who you are.
Do not allow fear of rejection to hold you back, and always remember that what is meant to be will be.
What are some other tips that can help a man secure a date with his dream girl?
Be sure to comment below, and don’t forget to share this post if you enjoyed it!
*Sending some positivity and blessings your way…….
Marriage Advice Every Newly Married Couple Must Know.
Christian Couples with 31+ years of Happy, Healthy, Successful experience share 31 Lessons learned in Marriage.
Let’s explore some of their best Christian marriage advice for newlyweds!
Through the happy days of romance, love warms you, fills you, and lifts you to new heights.
Congratulations on your new wedding!
Marriage mirrors God’s relationship with His people.
Successful marriages require way more than physical attraction, love, and common interests.
Like the torch in a hot air balloon, romantic love gives you the thrill of seeing your loved one from 10,000 feet as your love soars.
Once the marriage begins, however, the rubber meets the road.
The hot air balloon lands. Reality sets in.
The daily walk together, on the ground, is about to begin.
Here are 31 must know practical, Christian marriage advice for newlyweds that will help you through the new, daily journey that you are beginning with your spouse.
Use this proven best biblical marriage advice for newlyweds to build a strong foundation for your relationship.
Marriage God’s Way is a Biblical Recipe for Healthy, Joyful, Christ-Centered Relationships.
You Absolutely Must Know About Your Relationship – Test Your Compatibility And Grow Deeper In Love.
1. Learn About Each Other
The first marriage advice for newlyweds is to make genuine efforts to learn all you can about each other.
Now that the soaring thrill ride of engaged love has “landed,” it’s time to get down to earth and get to know your spouse.
As you walk with them on the ground from up close, take time to learn the fine-tuned details of who your spouse is.
Here’s a link to Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict.
Find out your spouse’s likes and dislikes, favorite foods, daily habits, childhood stories, and special quirks.
You are now a team so you need to learn and know all you can about your spouse to build a strong marriage foundation.
Tell each other stories from your growing up years or college days.
Try to learn something new daily. This helps set a firm foundation.
Make a commitment to understanding much stuff about your spouse well.
It is vital in your relationship that you and your loved one discover your love languages early.
You may also like The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.
“Many conflicts would be effectively avoided if you do your best to get to learn about each other,” is one marriage advice for newlyweds from a lady married for 32 years.
Build on the special bond between two of you and strive to be each others BFF.
You may also like Small love gestures that keep a relationship going strong.
2. Get To Know Each Other’s Personalities
Adjusting to living with each other initially may be difficult.
It is necessary and essential to patiently understand your spouse to avoid even the smallest conflicts that could erupt into bigger ones.
An excellent tool for learning about your spouse is taking a personality test.
A personality test is aimed at improving interpersonal relationships, and promoting positive attitudes towards people who are different, in the areas of understanding, appreciation and respect.
Tests like DISC, Enneagram personality test assessments, 16 Personalities tests, Nanaya, the 5 love languages, or the Gothman Institute’s Relationship Quiz are some tests you can try.
They can help you get started in discovering new realities about your spouse.
What activities energize your spouse? It’s better to know for real than to guess.
You may also like the 50 secrets of a blissful relationship.
Dr. Gottman, the country’s foremost relationship expert, talks about nurturing fondness and admiration in the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
Here’s a link to Dr. John Gottman’s “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide.”
What stresses him or her? How does he respond in conflicts, and what are her needs?
Personality tests can help you and your spouse find out a lot about each other.
It opens up the line of communication so that you can be able to talk about everything and anything.
You may also like the 4 seasons of marriage: secrets to a lasting marriage.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
On marriage advice for newlyweds, Vera married for 32 years stated; “Making assumptions can RUIN even the best relationship.”
This is a guide for that crucial first year.
It’s the Newlywed’s Instruction Manual that provides essential information, troubleshooting tips, and advice for the First Year of Marriage.
Our knee-jerk reaction is to assume that other people have the same motives, desires, reactions, and reasons for doing things as we have.
Personality tests can help you understand situations from your spouse’s point of view.
They give you insights into his or her real thought patterns and motivations.
This will help you avoid making assumptions about your spouse.
Instead of making assumptions in any situation, always get a clarification on any unclear conversation, spoken and unspoken words, and doubts.
By all means, please don’t be a mind reader!
You may also like how do I make my relationship stay strong – 16 tips
4. Talk About Household Chores
Try not to make assumptions in the area of chores.
In your family of origin, Dad may have more hands-on, washed the dishes, cooked meals, and taken out the trash.
In your spouse’s family, they may have had a protective wife who wouldn’t allow her husband in the kitchen.
Some families assume men will mow the lawn; others assume the woman will.
What about cleanliness? To some, it’s important to scrub until every speck of dirt is gone.
Other families are comfortable with casual and occasional cleaning.
Here’s a link to help make these tasks easy to complete; home cleaning ideas.
Make sure you bring these topics out into the open as soon as possible in the relationship and have a plan in these areas.
Adjusting and willing to compromise here and there will help reduce a lot of fighting in making sure household chores are completed; marriage advice for newlyweds from Liz married close to 32 years.
5. Learn About Perpetual Conflicts
The topic of chores is an area that the Gottman Institute would label as a solvable conflict.
If you discuss this issue with clarity and compassion and come to a mutual compromise, the topic can be easily solved.
But The Gottman Institute provides food for thought when it says that some types of conflicts are not solvable.
While solvable conflicts are simple logistical challenges or differences of opinion that can be fixed by discussing them,
unsolvable problems are clashes between personalities or values that will come up over and over and will never truly go away except with divine intervention.
Gottman suggests approaching these issue’s topics with continuing dialogue.
He recommends “humor, affection, and even amusement, to actively cope with the unresolvable problem, rather than allowing it to fall into the condition of gridlock.”
Read full article here
https://www.gottman.com/blog/managing-conflict-solvable-vs-perpetual-problems/
Being honest about unsolvable problems can help you not to waste time and energy worrying about things that cannot be changed.
This link has a good resource on managing conflicts –Marriage Conflict: Talking as Teammates (31-Day Devotionals for Life).
7. Confront Feelings of Shame
In a new marriage, many newlyweds battle feelings of insecurity.
Inadequacy lurks around every corner.
Am I good enough for my spouse?
Am I pretty enough, funny enough, adventuresome enough?
We wonder if we have what it takes to make our spouse happy for the rest of our lives.
All these questions boil down to one thing: Shame.
The Bible reminds us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.”
It is important to learn about shame and uncover sources of shame in your childhood.
It is equally important to celebrate that no one is perfect except God.
Otherwise, shame will put up its hurtful and damaging defense mechanism: Contempt.
7. Develop A “No Contempt” Policy In Marriage
Contempt is a common smokescreen that shields us against the painful feeling of shame.
Lashing out disdainfully at others’ quirks is a common way to alleviate the nagging discomfort of shame.
When two people live under one roof for the first time, they discover surprising things about one another that they never knew before piece by piece.
Some of those things may be good, and some of them may not be so good and peaceful.
Make a point to never respond to your spouse’s quirks with disrespect, contempt, or scorn.
You may also like best reasons why we should always pray.
Dr. Dan Allender, a prominent Christian therapist says that couples must have “a loyal commitment to a zero-contempt relationship. No matter the issue, no matter its importance, contempt must be viewed as dangerous as lighting a match to look into a gas tank.”
8. Be Proactive About Conflicts
Dr. Allender goes on, “Contempt arises like smoke from the fire of shame.”
Shame is the fire and contempt is the smoke, and you will need to develop a “smoke detector” in your marriage.
Meet proactively at least once a week to discuss issues, hurts, sins, conflicts, and things that have been unsaid that need to be addressed.
Make sure these issues are detected early, while they are still small and healthy.
Try to uncover feelings of inadequacy before they explode into an incendiary.
James 5:16 – Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.
According to author Gary Thomas, in “Sacred Marriage” “We have to stop asking of marriage what God never designed it to give — perfect happiness, conflict-free living, and idolatrous obsession.”
Instead, he invites us to see how God can use marriage as a discipline and a motivation to love God more and reflect more on the character of His Son, together as a couple.
9. Trust And Respect Each Other Including Each Other’s Space
“A marriage without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it as long as you want, but it won’t go anywhere.” -Unknown
No relationship can thrive without trust and respect.
Couples should feel safe with each other.
You may also like this great resource; Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs.
Your spouse should be confident that they are with someone they can completely trust and confide their feelings, thoughts, worries, and concerns to.
Married couples are one flesh and joined together in Christ for life, therefore they should understand what respecting boundaries is early in the relationship.
Yet at the same time, they are also individually created children of God.
Your spouse may need time to be alone with God or just to reflect, decompress, or relax.
Allow your spouse some space and don’t seek to manipulate or demand every minute of his or her time.
Philippians 2:3-4 reminds us, “In humility consider others more important than yourselves. Each of you should look at not only your own interests, but also at the interests of others.”
The bible says we are to “Do unto others as you want them to do unto you.”
In other words, this means that you treat your spouse in the same way you would want to be treated.
Respectable boundaries in your marriage, foster trust and belief.
Love and respect are the foundations of relationships.
“Respecting your spouse includes not saying bad things or discussing them with other people, friends, family, co-workers, and others” – another marriage advice for newlyweds from Laura – married for 34 years.
10. Don’t Let Marriage Become An Idol
The thrill and closeness that marriage can bring are meant to be a breathtaking picture of our special relationship with Christ.
At the same time, we can’t begin to assume that marriage itself is our relationship with Christ or that our spouse is our god or ultimate focus.
“Our spouse is not our ultimate place of fulfillment,” stated another lady with 40 years marriage experience on biblical advice for newly weds.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer encourages Christians to be careful not to make human love an end in itself.
He describes the dangerous thinking patterns of idolatrous love: “Nothing, not even the truth, must come between” the two lovers.
The only goal of life, to which everything else must bend, is “the other person, his company, his answering love.”
When we think like this, our relationship is unhealthy and in danger.
11. Get Excited About God’s Work In Your Spouse
In the middle of daily stresses and conflicts that come with jobs, careers, housework, chores, and kids, it can be easy to lose sight of the beauty of what Christ is doing in your spouse’s life.
Try to catch a glimpse of the exciting work God is doing.
The similarity in beliefs, goals, and objectives are virtues in any relationship, but it’s good for any spouse to appreciate any positive attitude or change towards a greater knowledge of Christ by the other spouse.
Trust the ways God can change your spouse!
12. Pray Together
As children of God, one of the most important things you can do with your new spouse is to talk to your Heavenly Father together.
Short Daily devotionals with bible passages will sometimes encourage couples to pray together.
This is a link to a very good daily devotional for couples, one that I really like: “365 Days of Prayer for Couples: – Inspirational Devotionals for Couples.”
Newly married couples must know that relationships have plenty of bumps along the way, and prayer is the shock absorber that helps make the journey a little less difficult.
Practically, try going on a prayer walk together. Hold hands and pray.
Here’s a link to Joel and Victoria Osteen’s “Our Best Life Together: A Daily Devotional for Couples.”
Colossians 4:2 instructs us to “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” ESV
Start the morning with prayer. End the day with prayer. A family that prays together stays together, they say.
Pray about fears, difficulties, conflicts, and decisions. Surprise each other by calling to pray together.
Make prayer a part of your everyday experience with your spouse.
The Bible agrees that when people pray together their petitions are heard by God: Matthew 18:19: “Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.”
13. Pray For Each Other
Similar to the last point, this point emphasizes an important lesson learned in marriage.
Prayer is a powerful tool to touch the heart of your spouse—and to change your own heart in the process.
This 7 day prayer miracle can transform your relationship.
In moments of conflicts or discord, your knee-jerk reaction may be rehashing the situation in your mind or with your words.
Instead of mulling, try turning to Christ with the conflict. Pray for your spouse.
This is probably the best marriage advice for newlyweds.
In his book, Life Together, Bonhoeffer said we should “speak to Christ more about a brother than to a brother about Christ.”
In other words, talk to God about your spouse even more than you talk to your spouse about problems, issues, or concerns.
Bring your spouse’s hopes, dreams, failures, sins, and struggles to the Lord in prayer.As you do, you may see that God wants to change you as well.
14. Compliment One Another
Go out of your way to express thankfulness for your spouse.
Speak words of gratefulness directly to your husband or wife, and intentionally speak well of them to others within their earshot.
Keeping a gratitude journal about your spouse will help you have compliments at your fingertips. Writing a thank you heartfelt sweet note, a gift or card are simple ways of expressing thankfulness.
This journal has very good reviews; “100 Days of Grace & Gratitude: A Devotional Journal.”
Commit to doing these often. People like to be appreciated.
You may also like Monthly, powerful Biblical affirmations for courageous faith.
15. Celebration
Even before your children are born, create traditions, rituals, and habits of celebration for your household.
Special surprise or moment on a birthday morning, an Advent chain counting down the days to Christmas, caroling to neighbors,
taking walks together or getting up by candlelight on Christmas morning are simple acts that can help bond your new family together.
Start by combining holiday traditions from your families of origin.
Then brainstorm and research ideas to form new traditions of your very own.
16. Look For Ways To Serve
Doing dishes, filling glasses of water, checking the doors at night, balancing the checkbook, fueling, washing, and maintaining the car are simple ways to show your spouse you care.
Decide to fix breakfast so that your partner could sleep longer.
Have the mindset that you are a team and you are in this together and find ways to intentionally serve each other.
But what about more descriptive acts?
We can imitate Christ’s self-giving love when we do distasteful tasks such as cleaning the bathroom, dealing with rodents and insects, or fixing the plumbing.
17. Forgive Early And Often
Couples who have been married for many years share lessons they have learned in their marriage.
They all say that forgiveness is a very important and practical aspect of a long-lasting marriage relationship.
Every human being has the capacity to sin.
In any marriage, even the most peaceful, couples will definitely sin against each other.
As Christians, we do not grant our spouse forgiveness because they deserve it, but as an act of mercy and grace covered by unconditional love.
It is very important that you continually forgo the hurts you go through caused by your spouse and resolve to start the relationship afresh.
Here’s a resource recommended by Rhoda married for 33 years; “Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope.”
One of the most important lessons newly married couple must grasp is forgiveness.It’s better to forgive quickly rather than holding on to a grudge.
And it’s better to assume the best and forgive as a knee-jerk reaction rather than assuming the worst.
18. Confess When You Are Wrong
Confession is often very hard but very necessary.
A seasoned spouse shares, “If I am wrong, I have to say so. Staying angry or insisting on my own rights is not an option. Over the years, this has been a struggle, but practice does make it come a little easier and more quickly.”
Dr. Bonnie Badenoch explains that couples become more resilient every time they work to repair a “break in connection.”
Couples who have worked to repair their broken bonds can actually feel closer after the reconciliation than before the conflict happened.
You may also like Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope.”
19. Common Goals
Early in your marriage, seek to clarify common goals, values, dreams, and desires.
When your family has joint goals and you are all working together to meet them, a special bond will be created.
20. Managing Careers
As you create joint goals, seek to understand your spouse’s independent career goals.
How can you work to help your spouse succeed in their career?
How can you each support each other in your individual goals and dreams?
Make sure to clarify early in your marriage the role that careers will play in your lives.
Prioritize spending time together outside of work.
Work together to establish work schedules that are best for your union.
Be an encourager to your spouse. Be their best cheerleader.
21. Start Investigating Child-Rearing
Couples may imagine that they will have years to get to know each other, pursue careers, and casually learn about child-rearing before children will arrive on the scene.
But some couples are surprised by how quickly God sends little ones into their lives and families.
Start right away to define your shared values regarding child-rearing.
“What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and “We’re Pregnant! The First Time Dad’s Pregnancy Handbook,” give insights on how a husband and a wife can approach and participate in the pregnancy experience with confidence.
Research different issues related to raising children, and be clear about your shared values in this area.
Get genuine advice from your wise parents, especially mothers and trusted friends who have been there.
22. Be Proactive In Your Relationship With God
A couple who has been married for forty years shares a lesson learned in marriage.
They say, “We emphasize the centrality of God and Scriptures to our home and life.
We try to let God’s words be continually in our mouths and to talk of them when we sit in our house, when we walk by the way, when we lie down, and when we rise up.
We spend time reading God’s word privately and together, and also work on hiding God’s word in our hearts through memorization.”
One of the best biblical advice for newlyweds is to read His word together. The word of God has positive impact in changing hearts and keeping people humble.
23. Be Careful About Expectations
Young couples often enter marriage with rosy-colored dreams and great expectations for their marriage, life, and relationship.
Mike Bechtle shares, “When we have expectations of what needs to happen, we’ll usually be disappointed.”
Instead of forming unrealistic expectations that will later be broken, he encourages couples to “replace expectations with expectancy.”
Filled with expectancy for what God will do in our relationship, we can free ourselves from unreasonable expectations and demands.
24. Express Healthy Curiosity
Be curious about your spouse’s day, experiences, feelings, job, or childhood.
Ask questions and seek to understand.
Even during challenging conversations, allow your mind to be curious about what your spouse might be thinking or feeling.
Wonder out loud or silently about the feelings or experiences that may be causing the words or reactions that your spouse is portraying.
Dr. Steve Call in his book; “reconnect: insights and tools for cultivating meaningful connection in your marriage,” explains that “curiosity… fosters understanding and connection.”
25. Do Things Together
Doing things together is a piece of practical marriage advice for newlyweds.
During the early days and weeks of marriage, every daily activity of life can be an invitation to connect.
If one of you has a chore, see if you can do it together.
Both of you can chat while you do the dishes.
You can take a bath or shower together.
You can cook together, watch each other do art or woodworking, or hand each other tools while fixing the car or things around the house.
Whatever you are doing, do it together.
Life will happen, children will come, and this will become impossible or more difficult later.
Take advantage of the opportunity that you have to share the everyday experiences of life right NOW.
26. Face To Face Finances
Figuring out and managing your finances early is probably one of the best marriage advice for newlyweds.
Don’t allow financial issues to come to a head before you discuss them.
Discuss ALL your debts including credit cards, student loans, car notes, etc.
The ultimate goal would be to strive to become debt-free.
Be proactive in setting up and communicating about your budget and priorities.
Have a frequent face to face check-ins to talk about finances and other matters.
When it comes to large decisions on finances, always make joint decisions.
17 best practical financial advice for newlyweds will give you tips on how to handle money matters from day one.
Decide together how to manage any student loans, credit card debts, paying house bills, etc.
Have a clear understanding of how to manage bank accounts, whether joint or separate accounts or both.
Who will be responsible for actually paying the bills after the funds are apportioned?
What about your parents? Would they need help? Decide how you will accommodate extended family expenses if applicable.
Remember, it’s no longer MY money, it’s now OUR money.
27. Remember The Events That Are Important To Your Spouse
To some newlyweds, it is extremely important that their spouse remember the one-month anniversary of their marriage and the one-year anniversary of their first date or their engagement or other dates that are special.
Do your best to set a reminder on your phone so you will not forget these important days.Marriage advice for newlyweds from Linda – 36 years in marriage.
When the anniversary rolls around, respond with a simple card, back rub, flowers, words of appreciation, or another gift that would be meaningful to your spouse.
Keep in mind holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries of deaths or traumas your spouse may have experienced.
Learn the 12 best secrets to a long-lasting relationship.
Be extra gentle on those days and seek ways to encourage your spouse.
28. Talk About Your Spiritual Life
Deuteronomy 6:7 says to talk about God’s word “when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed, and when you are getting up.”
To some people, it may seem very personal to talk about your spiritual journey with your spouse.
But talking about God together will help you stay accountable and will help you grow in your closeness to God and each other.
Talk about the church you will be attending and how involved you are going to be. This marriage advice for newlyweds should be agreed on before you start having children. It’s very important for families to worship together.
Know preachers your spouse likes to listen to, what songs they like, and sometimes just watch or listen together.
29. Talk To Your Spouse About Your Temptations
This may seem counterintuitive, but Laurie Krieg emphasizes the importance of talking to your spouse about your temptations.
Rather than pulling away in shame or fear, come to your spouse and start to talk.
Lauri Krieg says, “Temptation grows in isolation and silence… Simply opening my mouth and sharing what I’m thinking about” is a powerful tool for healing. https://lauriekrieg.com/temptation-in-a-pandemic-4-tools-im-using/
30. Play Together
In his book, Reconnect, Dr. Steve Call, makes an ultimatum: “Play together to stay together.”
He suggests that couples play together three times a week for ten minutes.
Another marriage advice for newlyweds revolves over finding hobbies that you and your spouse both enjoy.
And it doesn’t have to be expensive or complex.
Playing could mean watching a sunset together, taking a walk, or having a pleasant chat.
No matter what it means for you, emphasize spending special time together, even when the honeymoon’s over.
31. Intimacy is Vital and Very Important
“What is a successful marriage if it’s sexless or sex-starved?” asks Linda, married for close to 32 years
Sex is a symbol of unity in marriage. It binds couples together.
Sex was designed for marriage, despite what current culture says and was ordained by God.
Dr. Kevin Leman in his book, Sheet Music: “Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage,” offers a practical guide to sex according to God’s plan.
This frank, straight-to-the-point, and practical book is a perfect must -read resource with tons of marriage advice for newlyweds and engaged couples.
To avoid sexual immorality, sex should be frequent and mutual.
1 Corinthians 7:5 – Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
No matter what your schedules are, make this an IMPORTANT aspect of your marriage and when you partake, let it be special, no hurry, and let it be a mix of however you both like it!
Sex should be honored, cherished, and enjoyed as a gift from God and moreover, you should not be ashamed to express yourself.
You may also like “have a new sex life by Friday: because your marriage can’t wait until Monday“.
In conclusion, proactively implementing this marriage advice for newlyweds and always being open, intentionally and responsibly willing to work on your relationship can help newlywed couples build a lasting, strong, and satisfying relationship.
You may also like 56 powerful daily Biblical affirmations.
Any tips you’ll like to share?
Please share in the comments section.
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As always, sending lots of love and blessings your way…….♥
17 Best Christian Advice for Newlyweds
One of the biggest surprises for a newly married couple can be their spouse’s daily habits regarding finances.
17 practical financial advice for newlyweds can help you avoid money problems before they creep in.
In the busyness of wedding preparations and the glow of romantic love, many couples may forget to discuss the fine details of their financial habits.
After marriage, a husband could be shocked when his new wife responds to a rough day by stress-shopping and coming home with loads of new clothes.
The total money makeover by Dave Ramsey has proven to be a faith-based and PROVEN plan for financial success for couples.
A wife might as well be surprised by her husband’s coffee habit or obsession with off-brand products.
If you are in debt, use this secret to miraculously dissolve your debt.
Saving for children’s college or retirement, beliefs regarding debt, investments, and savings–all these are important details that many couples overlook during the exciting days of engagement.
Igor-Alexander Ledochowski offers a program that gives clear, straightforward information for the average person on how to manage their finances, instead of living paycheck to paycheck.
Now, as a newlywed, it’s important to start off on the right foot when you talk to your spouse about finances.
You may also like Best Christian advice for newlyweds – 31 tips.
Newlyweds need substantial practical financial advice early in their relationships.
“Money came by the House the other Day” by Robert Katz, CPA provides a comprehensive guide to Christian Financial Planning.
Learning and adhering to personal finance basics could help couples not live paycheck to paycheck, and avoid many problems that can creep in later.
Money issues are the number one reason why most married couples have conflicts or fights.
As awkward as discussions of money issues can be, it is advisable to tackle this line of communication early to prevent any misunderstandings along the way in the relationship.
This complete guide to money teaches you how to budget, save, dump debt, and invest.
Come along with me in this article as I explore several important financial advice goals for newly married couples, shared by veteran couples with many years of experience.
Most of the information here comes from my own experience of more than three decades of marriage, interviews, and conversations with like couples.
Also, from Christian personal financial management classes and countless personal finance books that have passed in front of my eyes.
Here are 17 pieces of very valuable financial planning advice for newly married couples.
From experience, you can never go wrong with these tips.
Financial Advice – Financial Tips For Newlyweds – Practical And Essential for Today.
1.// Clarify Your Shared Values And Where You Are This Moment.
First of all, you must identify where you are starting from.
These questions are trivial; Do you know your net worth? How much do you know about personal finance management?
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How much do you have in your bank account?
Do you know how to balance your checkbook?
Do you know what a budget is?
Every decision you make surrounding money is often based on your values.
Mary Nosuchinsky of Stash Wealth once said that married couples should, “Know what each person is bringing into the marriage, whether “good” or “bad” (salaries, savings, debt, spending habits).
It’s also helpful to talk about how each partner grew up with money.
Related: Best Christian Advice for Newlyweds: 31 + tips.
A lot of times, this directly correlates with current spending habits and views of money (aka a love or hate relationship).
Whether you are deciding about buying a car, a vitamin supplement, or a brand of cereal, the decision is not a simple yes or no question.
Far from being surface issues, money choices reflect deep realities about what is important to us.
Because of this, one of your first priorities in marriage should be clarifying your core values.
To start with, label six non-negotiable areas that will guide you in all of life.
Do you value success and achievement?
Compassion and generosity?
Frugality and savings?
Prioritizing shared hobbies?
Nice meals with the family?
Making some general guidelines for your marriage will clarify future decisions about money.
Whenever you are unsure about making a purchase, ask yourself,
“Does buying this brand of shampoo help me support my value of success and professionalism?”
“Does this food purchase support our shared health and wellness goals?”
Clarifying your values early in the relationship will help you stay focused on your long-term goals.
At the end of the day, the key to success on this journey is both of you being on the same page and at the same time.
Clarifying shared values and where you are this moment is the first practical financial advice newlyweds must implement.
Related: 12 Best Secrets To A Long Lasting Relationship.
2.// Make A Budget And Stick To It.
Preparing a written and zero-based budget is the first and most important step in your financial plan.
In light of the important values you have determined, apportion an amount of money that you will set aside for certain needs every month.
A budget is a plan for every dollar you have. A zero-based budget means that every month you must budget or apportion every single dollar.
A budget is a must for any family aiming for financial freedom and a blessed, happy, and contented life.
Money problems related to insufficient wise financial planning is the cause of most marital stresses.
Based on your net incomes, you must know how much to apportion for your needs and wants every month.
Any budget must cover all your needs and some of your wants.
Basically, the key element is — savings for emergencies and the future.
If dressing professionally is important to you, you may want to use a larger portion for work attire.
If savings and generosity are important to you, then place considerable amounts in savings.
Don’t forget to budget for house and car payments, utilities, groceries, and small daily needs like soap and toilet paper.
The most common monthly expenses to factor into your budget should include housing, transportation, child care, pet care, health, life and car insurance, transportation, savings, debt, cell phone, food, utilities….
You must put into consideration both short term goals (within two years and less) and long term goals (anything more than 2 years) in your budget planning.
There are many budgeting apps specifically designed for couples and the family that allow for tracking of individual expenses as well as shared spending.
You can also use the good old paper budget method.
Whichever option you decide to utilize, just stay consistent, and actually use it every month.
3.// Use Cash Envelopes To Hold You Accountable To Your budget.
Dave Ramsey, a renowned personal finance guru, recommends putting a portion of money in each budget category for each month in an envelope.
Studies have shown that we spend much less when we use cash than when we swipe the card.
With cash envelopes, each category on your budget gets an envelope, and each month you put that agreed amount in it.
Using cash envelopes helps couples stick to their plan and avoid overspending.
One envelope might be labeled “entertainment,” while another envelope might be labeled “groceries.”
When the envelope is empty, you stop spending for the month on that category. At the end of the month, if you have any money left, you can save it.
You don’t need to use cash for every single bill.
This works best for shopping and those categories you’ve identified you have a tendency to overspend.
This method helps you become more conscious of the amount of money you have left and prevents overspending.
4.// Communicate Frequently About Money.
Face to face sit down conversations about money are critical for newlyweds and throughout your marriage.
Discuss the purchases you have made and the things you would like to buy in the future.
Communicate about whether or not your purchases are lining up with your values and budget.
Especially when considering a large purchase such as furniture or a car,
ensure that you and your spouse have time to discuss the expenditure and come to a mutual agreement.
5.// Have An Attitude Of Compromise And Generosity.
Even though you clarify your values, you and your spouse may differ in your interpretation of needs related to the values.
For example, you may have agreed on a shared value of health and wellness.
To one spouse, wellness and health can mean eating fruits and vegetables and taking medicine when sick.
And to the other spouse, health and wellness can mean buying expensive essential oils and diffusers.
Be patient when your spouse interprets your values differently than you do.
Take it as an opportunity to communicate and compromise.
Occasionally, choose to allow your spouse to splurge on something that doesn’t seem important to you, but which seems vital to him or her.
However, be wise to stick to your budget and stay committed to the plan.
6.// Don’t Spend More Than you Make.
A veteran married couple shares this important financial tip for couples.
When you strike out on your own, you may feel tempted to try to live the same comfortable lifestyle that your parents live or lived.
Remember, your parents built their lifestyle through years of savings and hard work.
By all means, do not try to live like or emulate the Joneses. Your future financial happiness depends on best practices that you put in place now.
Take into account the amount of money you and your spouse actually make on a day to day basis. Then, plan to spend accordingly.
Don’t spend more than you earn. It can’t get any simpler than that.
In a nutshell, sincerely and honestly assess your earnings and live way below it.
Practical financial advice from parents is a tremendous gain.
7.// Don’t Spend What You Don’t Have.
This piece of financial advice for newlyweds is related to the last tip. If you don’t have the money, don’t spend it.
Avoid debts by all means.
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Avoid large purchases that would involve going into debt. Learn the ancient art of contentment.
If you can’t afford it, simply live without it.
Avoid borrowing and the use of credit cards.
If you must use a credit card, get one that you could use for all of your expenses, where you get cash rewards/ points/miles, and has the capability to build your credit too.
Your plan and focus should be on how much you can put on your credit card each month with the conviction and discipline to pay it OFF completely every month.
According to Proverbs 22:7: “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.”
That speaks for itself.
With God and discipline, you can do this!
Don’t ever get fooled by ‘sale’ prices, discounts, and attractive payment plans.
They are all beautifully decorated ideas that can lead you to spend on wants and not needs and to overspend.
8.// Don’t Spend All The Money You Do Have.
Avoiding debt and living within your means are important first steps to financial wellness as newlyweds.
However, a couple married for forty years shares another important lesson they have learned in marriage: you don’t need to spend every penny you DO have.
When you have leftover money in a cash envelope for the month, it’s not necessary to empty it.
Just count it as an extra donation to your savings account.
9.// Save For Large Purchases.
Savings is an effective and preferred way to achieve those large purchases you’ve been wishing for.
A car, a house, a new roof, and other large purchases require savings, patience, and perseverance.
Save money, a little or as much as you can each month for whatever goal you have in mind, and you will be surprised how quickly the money adds up.
10://Put Money In Long-Term savings.
Arrange with your employer to deduct money from your paycheck before you ever see it.
Direct deposit to savings is a simple way to pay yourself first.
Long term savings accounts are designed for saving over an extended period of time. There are other savings account options that are not as restricted.
This method of savings ensures that you are not tempted to spend the money you should be saving.
Saving is an important way to plan for your future and your family’s future. It requires a lot of discipline on your part, but remember that The Lord is your strength.
11.// Work Hard. Hard Work Pays Off.
Colossians 3:22-24 tells us God’s standards for our employment.
We should work hard “not only when [the boss’s] eye is on you and to curry their favor but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
Proverbs 13:4 also links hard work to financial success.
If you are not willing to work diligently, cheerfully, and willingly, don’t expect money to come rolling in.
12.// Remember That Money Is Not The Ultimate.
Although money is critical for survival, it is not the most important thing in the universe.
There are many things more valuable than getting another dollar.
There is no price tag to assess the value of spending time with your children while they are growing.
Investing time helping your elderly parents or neighbors is paramount and priceless.
Listening to a grieving friend is irreplaceable.
Each of these items is more important than money.
Although it’s important to work hard and to save, sometimes other things need to come along too or even come first.
First Timothy 6:10 says, “ For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and by craving it, some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains.”
Jesus had a lot to say about people who loved money more than they loved him. Don’t be that person.
In other words, do not be so engulfed in making money that you neglect other aspects of life that are equally or even more important.
Someone once said that a happy environment attracts good things including money.
13.// Listen To Advice From Older Generations.
A seasoned couple with many years of marriage experience shares lessons learned in marriage.
These short proverbs will help guide you as you start your marriage:
Advice # 1: Pay off your credit cards every month and do not allow debts to accumulate.
Advice # 2: Shop from a list; if it’s not on the list, don’t buy it.
Advice # 3 Always think about big purchases overnight. Don’t buy impulsively.
Go home from the car dealer or furniture store and contemplate overnight if the purchase is warranted, for example.
Morning light often gives clarity to the situation.
There’s nothing wrong with getting financial advice from successful and trustworthy people that are older.
They can also serve as your mentors or accountability partners.
14.// Have An Emergency Fund.
Dave Ramsey and all financial advisers suggest keeping a sum of money that is set aside for emergencies.
Unfortunate situations tend to come around with regularity: emergent care, hospital bills, car breakdowns, appliance problems, roof damage, or even a fire or car crash.
Having an emergency fund will give you more confidence when difficult situations arise.
Dave Ramsey advises at least $1000 emergency fund in a beginner emergency fund and $500 if your income is under $20,000 per year.
According to Dave Ramsey, “A fully-funded emergency fund covers three to six months of expenses.”
Others suggest starting at $500 and adding to it until it gets to three to six month’s worth of expenses.
It’s not possible to know when an emergency will happen, but it is possible to plan ahead for it.
To build your emergency fund quickly, the simple and best principle is to spend less and make more.
You have to make an intentional effort to cut down on your overall average monthly expenses.
It can mean taking lunch to work, cutting off the lattes, going to the grocery store with a list, and avoiding buying anything that is not on the list, cutting down on weekend outings, etc.
This is probably one of the best practical financial advice a newlywed couple can put into practice immediately.
15.// Choose Date Options That Don’t Cost As Much.
While splurging on your relationship as a newlywed couple is a good idea from time to time, try to choose cost-effective date nights whenever possible.
The bottom line is to save money.
Perhaps you could go on a hike, ride a bike, walk by the river, or enjoy a home movie.
Whatever the case, enjoying the simple joys of life FOR NOW can help to save money.
16.// Live By The Old Proverb, “A Penny Saved Is A Penny Earned.”
Another practical financial advice for newlyweds is to SAVE, SAVE, SAVE. What small changes can you make to save money?
Perhaps you could adjust the thermostat by a few degrees. Or change your lighting to fluorescent bulbs.
Or, turn off the shower while lathering. You can also turn off lights when not in use, or let the fresh breeze dry your clothes.
Ride a bike to the store, walk in the neighborhood instead of going to the gym, or cook at home a few more nights a week.
You can sell things that you don’t need or use to make extra money and also declutter your house or apartment.
These options will not only save money but will reduce your carbon footprint on the earth.
17:// Pay Your Tithes and Choose Generosity.
Sometimes, it’s easy to clench our fists and hang onto our carefully-earned money.
But 2 Corinthians 9:6-8 says, “Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.
Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give outside the tithe, however not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.”
This promise provides endless hope for those who are generous. We tithe as an act of faith. Tithes support the needs of pastors and the work of the local church.
Most wealthy Christians attribute their success to adherence to sound practical financial advice related to tithing and offering.
God is more than able to bless us with all we need, in this life and in the next.
He will give us the resources we need to serve Him and bless others in every good work.
He will take care of us, and we will be fulfilled.
I believe that giving to the Lord should be the number one priority for any believer that understands or has experienced the benefits.
Obedience in paying tithes pleases God. Remember, He is the source.
Malachi 3:10 supports that – paying tithes and giving offerings as instructed are signs of obedience to Christ.
Obedience is better than sacrifice. Tithing is an act of faith.
We prove our love for Christ by obeying His commands.
All that we have belong to God. That should be a motivation for you to be obedient in paying your tithe.
Putting these practical financial advice and tips into practice can help you to stay financially happy.
“A vision without action is just a hallucination.” – Dr. C. Thomas Anderson.
Please do not Procrastinate!
Sending lots of love, blessings, and positivity your way………♥
A Happy and Healthy Relationship that is Good, Sweet, and Long Lasting is Possible!
But they can’t be bought, people have to intentionally make it happen.
The following tips can help you and your partner create and maintain a happy and healthy relationship.
Let’s dive in.
She gazes at a diamond ring through eyes filled with tears of joy and hope.
He stands on the stage, promising to love his new bride with all his heart, for the rest of his life.
As they walk down the aisle amidst cheers of congratulations, the happy couple sees their future spreading before them like the endless sparkling sands of a good tropical paradise.
Crystal waters lap softly on the beach of their life, while palm tree shades them from above.
Life is good; their hopes have come true.
The Disney ideal of “happily ever after” has come to their own doorstep to stay.
But only a few months later, after the newness has worn off, many couples find themselves staring at the sands of their life in confusion.
Most couples begin to wonder if they’ve been dumped on a deserted desert island rather than a tropical seaside resort.
They realize that they packed for a vacation, whereas real relationships are the adventure of a lifetime.
Expecting nothing but fun, happiness, romance, and fulfillment, most have made very few preparations for marriage.
They expected a beach vacation—not a wilderness survival camp.
The good news is that no matter what stage you are at in your relationship, you can always gain new tools and skills.
As a participant in the wilderness survival shows on television, you can still choose the carefully selected tools you will need to brave the white-waters of life with your spouse.
Most happy and healthy relationships have certain characteristics in common.Your relationship can be strong, meaningful, fulfilling and exciting if you understand and practice these basic and proven principles.
As you gain the abilities you need to overcome danger and adversity, you will find joy, even in the most remote and desolate deserts of life.
“When you pursue God’s purpose as a couple, then everything else you value in life – such as happiness, love, and satisfaction – will fall into place.” – Dr. Tony Evans. Kingdom Marriage.
Nine C’s of a Happy and Healthy Relationship are Crucial Resources for Every Couple’s Survival.
Each individual C is a tool for your tool belt as you launch into life’s adventure with your spouse.
1. Commitment
The first C on how to maintain a happy and healthy relationship is Commitment.
No one would survive the wilderness without commitment.
The kind of person who bails after the first stubbed toe or splinter is not the person that would be chosen for these reality shows.
Braving the wilderness requires an unvarnished commitment to continuing to work toward surviving and thriving.
In the same way, good relationships take work, perseverance, and the willingness to stand up under difficult circumstances.
First Corinthians 13:7 says that “love… endures all things.”
The Greek word “hupomeno” means that we experience difficulty with calmness and bravery.
“Tough love” is commonly used to refer to rebuke, discipline, or natural consequences, but it can be used in another way in relationships.
Tough love is a kind of love that is strong, durable, and stands the test of time.
It’s not like dollar-store tableware or a cheap toy that breaks with the first use.
It doesn’t quit or fall apart when the going gets rough and tough.
In the words of a pastor with many years of experience, love must keep “going through times of difficulty with a determination to continue.”
2. Communication is the Second C of a Happy And Healthy Relationship
Imagine what would happen to a team of wilderness survivors if there were no communication.
Food was being carefully rationed, but the team leader forgot to communicate this fact to the other team members.
Imagine the frustration and anger—and danger—that would ensue when the leader discovered that a large proportion of their food had been consumed.
Communication is essential in relationships of any kind.
Mike Bechtle said, “Watch for baby elephants in the room. If you let them stay, they’ll get really, really big.”
In other words, the “elephant in the room” starts small, and it is vital to communicate regarding uncomfortable issues before they grow unmanageably large.
The Bible stresses the importance of good communication.
James 1:19 says, “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” ESV
This verse emphasizes that relationships should provide an environment where each person feels safe.
Friends and spouses should provide a proven track record of listening to each other’s concerns
so that each person feels safe bringing issues into the light in a timely manner.
When communicating, dig a little deeper than you think you have to.
Don’t just tell your partner that you’re upset that he or she never looked up from his or her computer while you were talking to them.
Steve Call encourages people to ponder their frustrations long enough to become aware of past hurts and vulnerabilities that may be making your partner or friend’s behavior seem intolerable to you.
If you were ignored consistently by your parents, being ignored by others in your life may be a particularly painful experience for you.
Mentioning these dynamics to trustworthy friends and partners can help communication stay open and honest.
3. Compassion
After you have communicated with your spouse or friend, compassion is critical.
We need to treat the story they have shared with honor and dignity.
Seeing others’ perspectives is critical to successful relationships.
If your friend or spouse shares a personal story or trigger related to their frustration with you, Reject the temptation to say,
“Well, too bad. Get over it. I’m not the person who hurt you.That’s not what I meant.”
Instead, take a moment to see the situation through your spouse’s or friend’s eyes.
Speak with kindness, acceptance, and understanding.
Jesus provided an excellent example of compassion in the way he treated others.
Matthew 9:36 says, “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” NLT
The phrase “moved with compassion” means that Jesus felt compassion in his gut, in his inner being.
Despite his followers’ confusion and helplessness, Jesus loved them deeply.
Your spouse or friend may be confused in their anger and frustration. They may be helpless against the triggers of past pain.
Our reaction should not be anger and hatred. Our reaction should be and should exhibit compassion.
4. Compromise
After you and your friend or spouse have communicated about the reasons behind your frustration and demonstrated empathy and compassion for one another, it is important to find a middle ground.
Consider our example of an individual who experienced visceral fear and abandonment when her friend didn’t look up from her computer.
Communication can lead to compassionate and helpful compromises.
Her friend or partner who was in the middle of a work project on the computer could verbalize; “I am working on an important work project with a deadline.
Could I finish a few more paragraphs? After that, I will give you my undivided attention.”
James 3:17 says that Godly wisdom is ”peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others.”
Compromises are needed on a desert island: the priorities, opinions, and perspectives of each person must be taken into consideration.
In the same way, compromising with others’ wishes in relationships is a sign of maturity and wisdom.
5. Courage
Few people have escaped from harm.
In this sin-tainted world, everyone has been a victim of abuse, hurt, betrayal, or harm of some kind.
Especially in cases where a partner has been abused in the past, Dan Allender discusses the intense courage necessary to walk into the “waters of death.”
It takes bravery to wade through the “confusion, suspicion, darkness, and betrayal” that past harm has brought to the relationship.
In an article on the 9Cs of how to maintain a happy and Healthy Relationship, it is appropriate to mention the courage required to wade into the “seas” of darkness and harm in any relationship.
Imagine a survival team that was required to swim through a poisonous chemical spill in order to make it to shore.
Most would do all they could to avoid this difficulty.
But if the chemicals had polluted the only avenue to safe harbor, they must dive in–no matter the cost.
The words, “Love… bears all things” have become almost cliché, rolling off our tongues at weddings or offering catchy words to put on a Teddy bear poster.
But if we take a moment to pause and consider these words from 1 Corinthians 13:7, we realize that they have a deeper meaning.
The word “bears” in Greek means “to cover closely (so as to keep water out).”
Envision yourself carefully covering your struggling friend, or partner with a waterproof jacket as you swim through those sordid waters to bring them safely to the shore.
This act takes courage, a vital element in any successful relationship.
6. Confidence
Another emphasis from 1 Corinthians 13 is that “love believes all things.”
Clearly, God does not encourage us to believe every fragment of information that we find on the internet or every false claim that a deceiving and conniving spouse wants to lead us to believe.
But there is one person that we can believe all the time: God.
“God is the cord that not only keeps you together but also keeps you strong and able to do all He has designed for you to do and enjoy.” -Dr. Tony Evans. Kingdom Marriage
Do we believe that God has the power to heal this relationship?
Also, do we give others the benefit of the doubt, believing their word whenever we can?
Do we have confidence in the other person, trusting that they will resolve this issue to the best of their ability?
Or do we approach the other person with doubt, assumption and suspicion?
A seasoned pastor once said that believing all things means that we “believe all things related to beauty and truth.”
It means “crediting the best motive in each other and directing others to Christ with their sin, believing that anything is possible with the work of God.”
When we support others in this way, we will often experience growth and resolution that we never dreamed possible.
7. Covenant
Poisonous chemicals, starvation, and isolation are tough.
But nothing beats the destructive power of a hurricane.
These deadly storms have the power to rip apart the strongest of buildings.
In life, what will keep your marriage intact during the storms of life?
When typhoon gales beat against your marriage, nothing less than a covenant will hold it together.
Dr. Tony Evans in his book, Kingdom Marriage said; “Marriage is not merely a social contract; it is a sacred covenant.
It is not simply a means of looking for love, happiness, and fulfillment.”
Marriage is a Covenant, not a Contract.
A contract is an agreement made between two parties because they fundamentally distrust one another.
Business partners make contracts with one another to hold each other to their word in case of a disagreement.
Contracts are based on limited liability, seeking to protect one’s self from harm or infringement.
If both parties decide to change the terms of the contract, they can modify it at any time.
A covenant, however, is based on endless trust and security.
It cannot be broken when one of the parties wishes to change the terms.
A marriage covenant is created before God and is permanently indissoluble.
In Malachi 2:14, ESV, God mourns the broken marriage covenants of his people:
“The LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”
God takes marriage covenants seriously because he takes His own covenants seriously.
The covenant God made to Israel – ie -US could not be broken, even when Israel wished to desert God and follow other lovers.
Startlingly, God could not even break His own covenant, even when it cost Him endless pain and betrayal.
Centuries later, He still holds out His promise of love to His chosen people.
The New Covenant, won through Jesus’ blood, welcomes trusting sinners into a relationship with Him.
He is their husband, and they are His beloved and beautiful bride.
God emphasizes to us that He will never abandon us or break His covenant.
The God that created us wants a marriage relationship to be a reenactment of His powerful covenant to us.
8. Companionship
Can you imagine the difficulty of surviving in a vast wilderness—alone?
All you have is yourself, your gear, and the wide-open sky full of danger and promise.
Now imagine that even one friend joins you in your survival experience.
A friend who encourages you, supports you, laughs with you, spends time with you, and lifts your spirits when the going gets tough.
In any human endeavor, companionship is key.
Humans were created by God to live in relationships with one another.
In his book, Reconnect, Steve Call makes this memorable statement: “Play together to stay together.”
His prescription for marital struggles is playing together three times a week for ten minutes.
Playing could involve sitting together to drink coffee and watch the sun go down.
It could involve watching a movie, going on a bike ride, giving a simple hug, or talking about things that are mutually enjoyable.
Even though relationships are hard, the difficulty doesn’t have to have the final word.
Make time to enjoy your spouse or friend. Play together.
Provide companionship.
9. Caring Shines Like the Sun
The last of the Nine C’s on how to maintain a happy and healthy relationship.
Caring shines like the sun peeking out from behind storm clouds.
Make time to enjoy your spouse or friend. Play together.
Caring is the sweet rainbow after the rain, but it can be overlooked.
To know that someone cares about you is one of the most powerfully motivating forces in the universe.
Life can be tough sometimes, and it’s easy to throw up our hands in despair:
“I don’t even care,” we may grunt.
When storms beat through our desert island and destroy the Hollywood dreams we once had, it’s easy to become cynical, cold, and calculating.
“Like I cared,” we snort to the broken pieces of our dreams, floating out to sea.
That’s when the powerful words, “I care,” become so crucial.
“I care about our relationship.”And, “I care about the way you feel.”
Or, “I care about how I hurt you and how I can do better.”
Also, “I care about your hopes and dreams. I simply care.”
If someone cares, life is no longer unmanageable.
Lovingkindness breathes courage up our spines.
We feel like there’s nothing we can’t do if we know that someone cares.
As you practice the Nine C’s of a Healthy and Happy Relationship, the rigors of survival begin to seem less fierce and threatening.
You will start to find the hills exhilarating, the mountains breathtaking, and the open skies welcoming.
Your love for each other becomes a shelter from the rain and a fire to warm chilled spirits.
As you cover one another with love and companionship, you’ll find that the challenges become lighter and that both of you become braver.
We wish you the best of luck on your adventure together.
Why not start today to implement the 9 Cs?
As always – Sending lots of love and blessings your way………..
12 Best Secrets To A Long-Lasting Marriage
Relationship.
Do you Even Know What it Takes to Make Your Relationship Last Long?
Every long term happy marriage has secrets to their success and what has kept them together.
While some couples enter their marriage relationship with starry eyes and rosy glasses, others enter with a bleakly realistic fear:
“What if our marriage falls apart? What if we don’t have what it takes to stick it out?”
With marriage relationships falling apart left and right and warm and devoted marriages disintegrating before our very eyes, we need words of advice, guidance, and strength.
We need to gain skills for endurance and going the distance.
What makes the difference? What helps some people weather the storms of life and stay strong long term?
Ever wondered – what are the secrets to a long-lasting relationship?
In this post, we will examine some important life lessons for building long-lasting marriage relationships.
RELATED: Best Biblical Marriage Advice for Newlyweds – 31 + Tips.
Let’s have a look at twelve of the best things people (including myself – 34 years of marriage) who have stayed together for the longest share as perhaps, some of the secrets to their long-lasting relationships.
Let’s explore some great advice for a strong, happy, and enduring relationship.
#1. Personal Conversation Is Very Vital
Have Clear Boundaries With Technology
In her excellent book, Reclaiming Conversation: the Power of Talk in a Digital Age,
Sherry Turkle explains that smartphones, computers, and technology have taken the place of much-needed personal conversation that is so vital to healthy relationships.
As digital innovators work harder and harder to capture our attention,
we can be sucked into the trend to outsource our thinking, our information storage, and recall, our memories, our information processing, and our philosophy to digital devices.
In fact, instead of taking time to fully digest our multi-sensory experiences with our spouse, we often short-change the experience by focusing only on taking a picture to later post on social media.
Instead of using our own minds to store, process, and retrieve our memories about our spouses,
we rely on the crutch of social media to remind us of memories and anniversaries.
Similarly, instead of spending time conversing about our day, developing new hobbies together,
or responding to one another’s bid for attention, we spend time scrolling endlessly through social media feeds or online news and shopping.
The writer of Ecclesiastes, despite his tone of darkness and despair, had a lot to say about the importance of treasuring each and every moment that God gives us here on earth.
He often reminded readers that life is uncertain; tragedy and calamities come, and death is sure.
In light of this, he advised, alternatively to,
“Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun–all your meaningless days.
For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.”
Ecclesiastes advised his audience to treasure the simple pleasures of daily life.
Don’t allow the marvels of a smiling face, a fading sunset, or a nuanced expression of tenderness be lost under a pile of addictive, stressful, and never-ending tweets, likes, comments, and headlines.
Sherry Turkle suggests creating “sacred spaces—the living room, the dining room, the kitchen, the car—that are device-free.”
However, you choose to apply this principle, remember that boundaries on technology are a very important part of a relationship that can go the distance.
#2. Be Prepared For Difficulty
It is important to understand that marriage may not be easy.
Jesus says that “in this world, you will have tribulation.”
Trouble and trials are guaranteed.
One or both of you may get sick.
You may encounter great challenges, financial setbacks, children who choose another path, tragedy, or loss.
Maybe, you may have to care for your spouse long term in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s.
These could create states of anxiety and fear.
Buckle your seatbelt for a challenge and prayerfully stay committed to sticking it out, no matter what.
A relationship with a strong foundation built on agape love can withstand any trials and tribulations.
#3. Hope For The Best
Hebrews 10:36 says, “So do not throw away your confidence; it holds a great reward.”
Although you prepare for the worst, you must enter your marriage relationship with hope, confidence, optimism, and the power of imagination.
Paul Tripp says that the spiritual “power of imagination” is the confidence that allows us to envision leaves, flowers, and fruit on a dry, dead, winter tree.
The power of imagination allows us to dream of business goals that we later make a reality.
Similarly, the power of imagination helps us see that no matter the current or pending difficulty, God is always at work in our spouse’s life.
Even in times of difficulty, we can work on “believing that anything is possible with the work of God.” (Pastor H, Kansas)
Tim Keller in his renowned book “The meaning of Marriage” encourages spouses to use their spiritual imagination to get excited about what God is doing in their partner’s life.
He says, “Look at another person and get a glimpse of what God is creating, and to say,
‘I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to His throne.’
And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, “I always knew you could be like this.
I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you!’” (The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller)
Always approach your marriage with hope in the fact that God is; “able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us.” -Ephesians 3:20
#4. Practice Steadfast (Hesed) Love
Make Jesus Christ, the first and last and best in everything.
Throughout the Bible, God refers to His love for His people as “hesed.”
Hesed love means love, loyalty, or steadfast mercy.
It refers to a covenant love that never, ever gives up on the beloved.
Paul Miller says that “Hesed is one-way love.
It encompasses love commitment without an exit strategy.
When you love with hesed love, you bind yourself to the object of your love no matter what the response is…” (The Loving Life by Paul Miller)
Hesed love is the type of love that will keep your relationship going for the long term.
#5. Find And Stay With A Congregation That Will Support You
Long-lasting relationships can’t happen in isolation.
You need a strong body of genuine believers that will come alongside and help you through those tough patches.
They will help you see blind spots, guide you in times of difficulty, and encourage you when times are tough.
The body of Christ provides accountability and helps keep you on track with your relationship with your spouse and with God.
Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “Let us not neglect meeting together, as some have made a habit, but let us encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
Spiritual fellowship helps you avoid placing all your emotional weight on your spouse, which creates an impossible burden to bear.
Find solace in friends, mentors, accountability partners, pastors, and teachers.
The Body of Christ is an important key to developing courage and perseverance for the long haul.
#6. Develop Relationships With Older Mentors
Proverbs 27:10 says, “Never abandon a friend— either yours or your father’s.”
This verse implies that we gain strength and wisdom from learning to know people our own age and our parents’ age.
Seek out an older couple who has an exemplary, happy, and long marriage and explore what has kept them together.
Ask them to share with you the secrets of how to stay strong long term.
Learn from their marriage advice and wisdom and follow their example.
They may even be able to give you practical advice for the specialized situations you experience with your spouse.
#7. Don’t Ignore Your Spouse’s “Bids” For Attention
In his book, Reconnect, Steve Call, Ph.D. says that couples are constantly sending out “bids” for attention.
Like a slight nose-scratch or cough from a bidder at an auction, some of these bids are subtle and hard to notice.
Nonetheless, spouses are constantly asking one another for connection in small ways.
It’s very important to notice and respond positively to your spouse’s bid for attention.
For example, if they hint at going out to eat, taking a walk, chatting about the day, or playing a board game,
make sure you don’t brush off this small invitation.
Notice their “bid” for attention and respond with kindness.
By any chance, if you’re not available right then, make sure you schedule another time when the two of you could connect.
If you make a habit of dismissing or ignoring your spouse’s bids, she or he may stop asking, and your relationship will suffer.
#8. Focus On “Crock Pot Relationships” Instead Of “Instant Microwave Relationships.”
In our culture of instant availability, it’s easy to assume that following a few steps, pressing a few buttons, and learning a few “hacks” can help you develop a successful marriage.
However, relationships are one thing that never develops instantly.
No matter how quickly you may have fallen in love, “love at first sight” doesn’t ensure that your relationship will progress easily and automatically.
RELATED: Small Love Gestures that Keep A Relationship Going.
Mike Bechtle says, “There are no shortcuts to maturity.
There are no shortcuts to healthy relationships. Maturity takes time.”
#9. Face Shame And Contempt Head On
According to Dan Allender, “a loyal commitment to a zero-contempt relationship” is one of the most critical elements in any marriage.
Especially when there has been vulnerability or hurt in the life of one spouse, a no-contempt rule is critical.
Dan Allender goes on, “No matter the issue, no matter its importance, contempt must be viewed as dangerous as lighting a match to look into a gas tank.”
In order to understand contempt, we need to also examine the shame in our lives.
Shame is the fear of disconnection and abandonment that stems from our belief about who we are as a person.
When we feel shame, we often turn to contempt to distract us from those feelings of abandonment and disconnection.
Instead of learning to feel secure in our identity, we blame someone near us or show contempt for ourselves.
#10. Don’t Allow Conflicts To Gridlock
The Gottman Institute provides excellent food for thought when it says that in some conflicts,
resolution is not necessarily possible in the way we traditionally think of it.
Solvable conflicts are simple logistical challenges or differences of opinion that can be fixed by discussing them.
Unsolvable problems, however, are clashes between personalities or values that will come up over and over ago and will never truly go away.
Some couples work endlessly to try to solve these problems, running themselves into corners, becoming defensive, being angry, or shutting down.
John Gottman, Ph.D suggests approaching these issues with continuing dialogue.
He recommends “humor, affection, and even amusement, to actively cope with the unresolvable problems,
rather than allowing it to fall into the condition of gridlock.” https://www.gottman.com/blog/managing-conflict-solvable-vs-perpetual-problems/
You must understand each other’s weaknesses and recognize your differences and practice forgiveness and letting go.
Being honest about unsolvable problems can help you not to waste time and energy worrying about things that cannot be changed.
Don’t allow these issues to go into a stressful, discouraging gridlock.
If your conflicts have fallen into a state of gridlock, make sure to reach out for help to a counselor, therapist, pastor, or friend.
Your marriage is worth fighting for!
#11. Re-Enact Jesus’ Life
You may think that all of life is going to be an upward of success and victory.
However, Jesus calls us to the life of death, self-sacrifice, and love that he demonstrated while he was on earth.
Ephesians 5 specifically says that husbands are called love with self-sacrificial, dying love.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25
In his book, J-Curve, Paul Miller emphasizes that dying with Christ is a big part of life.
We admire Jesus’ sacrificial love so much that we actually re-enact it daily.
Practice sacrificial love that is enveloped in the mutual respect that promotes your shared values.
This is a great virtue that can serve as a bedrock of any relationship.
Respect is the bedrock of any solid relationship. It’s impossible for any relationship to thrive without RESPECT.
Like the residents of Medicine Lodge, Kansas, who re-enact a historic peace treaty in a monumental pageant every three years, we are called to re-enact Jesus’ life of sacrificial love—not every three years, but every day.
“When you realize that death is at the center of love, it is quietly liberating.
Instead of fighting the death that comes with love, you embrace what your Father has given you. A tiny resurrection begins in your heart.”—Paul Miller
Don’t forget or underestimate the importance of intimacy in your relationship.
Intimacy should be emotional, mental, and physical closeness and not just sexual.
You must always make time to connect intimately.
This type of intimacy is a feeling that is much more deeper and solid than a romantic feeling. This is one marriage advice all couples in long term relationships agree to be one of their secrets.
Whether your marriage is hanging by a thread or healthy and strong, The Love Dare is a journey you need to take. You will learn the keys to finding true intimacy and developing a dynamic marriage.
#12. Regain Perspective As A Couple
When you start your marriage, it is important to create habits and rituals of connection.
Take time to regain perspective as a couple!
It’s important to think through your schedules, priorities, weekly events, and check-ins.
However, it is equally important to reevaluate those goals, rituals, and habits often as the years pass.
Don’t just get into a habit and continue with it for 20 years without taking a step back to see if those routines are still necessary.
Periodically review your goals, values, habits, and customs.
See if these rituals are working for you and evaluate whether you should change them or add new ones.
Although routines are important, ruts are not always helpful.
Make sure to check in from time to time to make sure you are still on the same page.
Life isn’t easy, and marriage is not for the faint of heart.
With these proven secrets to a long-lasting marriage relationship under your belt, you will gain the perspective, courage, and endurance that you need.
They will help you learn how to stay strong and intentional and long-term in your “Kingdom Marriage“.
Secrets To A Long Marriage Relationship: Words To Live By Everyday:
You can post these words where you can see them often.
Remembering them will help you and your partner to maintain a happy marriage that can withstand the most associated challenges.
-PATIENCE.
-UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
-FORGIVENESS
-KINDNESS.
-PERSEVERANCE.
-RELENTLESS.
-INTENTIONAL.
-MOTIVATED.
-COMPASSION.
-INTIMACY.
-GRATEFUL.
-MERCY.
-GRACE.
-MEEKNESS.
-COURAGE.
-HONESTY.
-RESPECT.
-TRUST.
-EMPATHY.
-FOCUSED.
-POSITIVE EMOTIONS.
As Always, Just hang on tight. Do Your best and leave the rest to a Faithful God. STAY BLESSED……
Sometimes, you may find you need some uplifting words that can brighten your day.
You may need reflective words or words of wisdom – an uplifting quote that can bring about a much-needed change or pull you in a better and more positive direction.
Find a comfortable spot like this to reflect on these words.
You may also like the 4 Sentence Prayer That Instantly Grants Your Heart’s Fiercest Desires.
Words are powerful.
An uplifting quote can serve as a guiding light to self-enlightenment and productivity.
Well-articulated quotes can kindle fresh determination, inspiration and hope. They can trigger new perspectives and bring relief.
Here are some of my favorite uplifting and motivational quotes.
There are some that are specific for marriage relationships and they have a ♥ by them.
Here’s a link to a must-have book for all married couples.
There are specific and focused quotes towards the end for husbands and wives. You can’t miss those!
I’ll continue to update this list as I find more inspiration, so please keep checking back for more uplifting quotes!
If any of these quotes have blessed you in any way, please do not hesitate to share them with your friends and family.
You may also like the best reasons why we should always pray.
Maybe you can be an instrument the Lord will use today to pass on a smile to somebody, change an attitude, or simply make the day better for someone.
Please share with me in the comments section at the end of the page what your favorite uplifting quote is!
You may also like tips on how to live intentionally every day.
It is my prayer that they would help you in a remarkable way along your journey to better relationship experiences and to encourage you to stay sensitive and intentional.
Here we go, the best uplifting inspirational quotes to brighten your day.
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” -Frederick Keonig
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller
♥“A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.” -Andre Maurois
♥“The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It’s a choice you make – not just on your wedding day, but over and over again – and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.” -Barbara De Angelis
You may also like the best Christian marriage advice for newlyweds – 31 best tips.
“Kindness has no religion. Religions are like narrow tracks, but kindness is like an open sky.” – Amit Ray
“Every morning when I get up, I ask God what he wants me to do, ask Him to lead me to the right people to help them.”– Richard Simmons
“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.” – David G. Allen
♥“Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” – Martin Luther
“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – Helen Keller
♥“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. -1st. Corinthians 13; 3-7 NLT
“Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose” – Bill Gates
Powerful monthly Biblical affirmations for courageous faith is another resource that elevates the spirit daily. Check it out.
“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses.” – Lao Tzu
“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” -Thich Nhat Hanh
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♥ “If love cannot stand the test of time, then it has failed the test of love.” – Bernard Byer
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“What I write comes from a place of deep love, and a deep understanding of all kinds of otherness.” – Jacqueline Woodson
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♥ “Love is not finding someone to live with. It’s finding someone you can’t live without.” – Rafael Ortiz
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“When God puts love and compassion in your heart toward someone, He’s offering you an opportunity to make a difference in that person’s life. You must learn to follow that love. Don’t ignore it. Act on it. Somebody needs what you have.”― Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential
♥” True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart.” -Honore de Balzac -
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down”. – Oprah Winfrey
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“Love is begun by time, And time qualifies the spark and fire of it.” – Shakespeare
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“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford
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♥“What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.” -Leo Tolstoy
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“When you face adversity, you need to remind yourself that whatever is trying to defeat you could very well be what God will use to promote you.” ― Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential
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♥ “Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.” – Erica Jong
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“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, But fools despise wisdom and instruction.” – Proverbs 1:7 NKJV
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♥“Great marriages don’t happen by luck or by accident. They are the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, prayer, mutual respect, and a rock-solid commitment between a husband and a wife.” – Dave Willis
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♥“Marriage is sharing your life with your best friend, enjoying the journey along the way, and arriving at every destination together – Fawn Weaver
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You may also like the 12 best secrets to a long-lasting relationship.
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“Quit worrying about how everything is going to turn out. Live one day at a time; better yet, make the most of this moment. It’s good to have a big–picture outlook, to set goals, to establish budgets, and make plans, but if you’re always living in the future, you’re never really enjoying the present in the way God wants you to.”― Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential.
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♥“A marriage cannot survive when we think only of ourselves. We need to recognize that to love someone is a choice, not a feeling. – Christin Slade
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♥“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” –Proverbs 18:22
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“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16 NKJV
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“Words are powerful, speak wisely.” – Unknown
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“Think before you speak. In the heat of the moment. It’s easy to say something you’ll later regret.” – Dr. Anil Kumar Sinha
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“Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” – 1 John 4:11 NKJV
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“Your desire to succeed should be driven by the need to fulfill your God-given purpose and not attract the praise of men.” –Tolu Thomy
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“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” – Brene Brown
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“Let your past make you better, not bitter.” -Unknown
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♥“When couples focus on remaining two while God is seeking to create oneness in them, they are inadvertently working against His purpose.” – Dr. Tony Evans
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“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
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“Words travel far more than we can ever reach across hearts and live longer than we can ever live on earth and as such, should be spoken with a lot of goodness in them.” – Terry Mark
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“Be sure to taste all of your words before you spit them out.” – Unknown
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“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napoleon Hill
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“Purpose is that power that will propel you to get out of bed in the morning and push you to make your dreams come true.” – Unknown
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“Never underestimate the power to change you.” – Walter Ngele
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” -
♥“I have known many happy marriages, but never a compatible one. The whole aim of marriage is to fight through and survive the instant when incompatibility becomes unquestionable.” – G.K. Chesterton
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“Sin and Hell are married unless repentance proclaims the divorce.” — Spurgeon
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“The truth carries a weight that no lie can counterfeit.” – John Hagee
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“Today, if you are feeling overwhelmed, Jesus Christ is the rock who is high above your circumstance.” – Joel Osteen
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“Righteous bumper provides motivation to push through difficulties.” – Dr. Charles Stanley
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“Attacking the successful does not delete your failure.” – Dr. Pastor Paul Enenche
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“Time changes, but truth never change.” – Unknown
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“Children of today, there’s no benefit in rebellion.” – Dr. Pastor Paul Eneche
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“Favor is the secret to uncommon blessings. Favor is the difference between your present and your future.” – Prophet Nanasei Sarkodie
“The truth carries a weight that no lie can counterfeit.” -
“No matter what the matter is, you will matter when it matters most.” – Dr. Chris Okafor
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“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, all play and no work makes Jack a poor boy.” -Unknown
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“Dwelling on negative thoughts is like fertilizing weeds.” – Normal Vincent Peale
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“When you appreciate the insignificant, you attract the significant.” – Skip Prichard
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“Stop being jealous of people in their winning season. You don’t know what they lost in their losing season.” – Unknown
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“Failure in education is not a failure in life. Failure is by determination.” – Unknown
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“What you believe is what you become.” – Unknown
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♥Where you go, I’ll go, where you stay, I’ll stay. – Ruth 1:16
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The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. – Deuteronomy 31:8
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“We are most grateful for life’s mountain tops when we have experienced life’s valleys” – Skip Prichard
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“I want peace, happiness, not only for myself, for everybody.” – Fela Kuti
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“It is better to be a fool for Christ than a hero for the world for the times of the world will pass away, but the blessings of Christ will endure forever.” – Pastor John Hagee
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“You are creative, you are alive, you are the stuff life is made of. What else could possibly matter?” – Iyanla Vanzant
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“Don’t you dare allow personal fear to limit what God will do in your life.” – Pastor Mathew Hagee
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♥“What makes a marriage strong is loving with a biblical love grounded in patience, kindness, loyalty, grace, and more, which is in alignment with God’s covenantal purpose for marriage“. – Dr. Tony Evans
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“Five Daily Reminders: 1. You only fail if you quit 2. Everyone’s journey is different 3. Things always get better with time. 4. The past cannot be changed 5. Happiness is found within” – Unknown
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“The man who is powerful FEARS nothing; not even God. The powerful man loves God, but FEARS him never! Enduring power never grows out of FEAR. Any power that is built upon FEAR is bound to crumble and disintegrate. Understand this great truth and you will never be so unfortunate as to raise yourself to power through the FEARS of other people who may owe you temporary allegiance.” – Napoleon Hill
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“Nothing works unless it originates from God.”– Unknown
♥“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning, and unquenchable.” – Bruce Lee
“Life is about keys when you have a key, you don’t knock, you open the door.” – Archbishop Nick Duncan-Williams
“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – Walt Disney
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♥ “If you can’t do anything about it, then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.” – Tony Gaskins
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♥ “God never said that the journey would be easy, but He did say that the arrival would be worthwhile” – Max Lucado
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You may also like the best marriage advice for newlyweds – 31 tips.
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“God will meet you where you are in order to take you where He wants you to go.” – Dr. Tony Evans
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♥ “Remember who you are. Don’t compromise for anyone, for any reason. You are a child of the Almighty God. Live that truth.” – Lysa Terkeurst
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“If you can’t fly, then run, If you can’t run, then walk, If you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
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“Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.” – Francis Chan
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You may also like the 4 Sentence Prayer That Instantly Grants Your Heart’s Fiercest Desires.
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“The Christian life is not a constant high. I have my moments of deep discouragement. I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes, and say, ‘O God, forgive me,’ or ‘Help me.’” – Billy Graham
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“There is a reason the windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror. Your future matters more than your past.” – Max Lucado
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“Your potential is the sum of all the possibilities God has for your life.” – Charles Stanley
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“The greater your knowledge of the goodness and grace of God on your life, the more likely you are to praise Him in the storm.” – Matt Chandler
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“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; and, he will exult over you with loud singing.” – Zephaniah 3:17
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“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6
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You may also like tips on how to intentionally pray for and with your children.
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“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28
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“God is love. He didn’t need us. But he wanted us. And that is the most amazing thing.” – Rick Warren
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♥“Christian marriage does not exist for the benefit of the two people in the marriage; it is for the benefit of the world, that God would be glorified in it. The main purpose of marriage is not the enjoyment of the two people who are married, the main purpose of marriage is to glorify Christ as we participate in the mission of God.” -Tim Suttle
Biblical Caution
Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. Philippians 2:4 NLT
“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” -Galatians 6:2 NLT
“Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.” – Proverbs 22: 24-25 NLT
“Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” – 1 Corinthians 15:33
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it, is like wrapping a present and not giving it. – William Ward
“The opposite of love is not hatred; it’s indifference.” -Elie Wiesel
For Husbands
The Christlike husband is not supposed to be mean, harsh, provoke, or ill-treat their wives.
They are to love their wives as they love their own bodies. Would anyone ever harm their own bodies?
Be patient with your wife. Women go through some emotions that are peculiar to them, sometimes we do not understand it ourselves.
As her first responder, instead of being nonchalant, be kind and understanding. It takes very little or few gestures to please a woman.
You will progress more if your wife is 100% on your team. You are the head of the household, stay proactive, focused, and intentional, and do all you can to keep your home moving in the right direction.
If you become passive and the wife takes over, please don’t complain and call her liberated and disrespectful.
You cannot hold your wife to a standard or accountability that you will not hold yourself to as well.
Blessings to you, the great man of valor!
♥“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.” – Ephesians 5:28 NIV
♥ “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” – Colossians 3:19 NIV
♥ “Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” – 1 Peter 3:7 NIV
“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” – Proverbs 27:17
“Home is where everyone comes for respite and rest, but if a home environment does not provide the love that children need, then they will seek it elsewhere. ” – Nicoline Ambe, Being Dad
You may also like the 4 Sentence Prayer That Instantly Grants Your Heart’s Fiercest Desires.
For Wives
The kingdom wife is supposed to respect (reverence) their husband.
They are expected to control their emotions and not nag, belittle, insult, talk negatively or gossip about their husbands, or bring them shame by the way they live at home or in the community.
Some men like to be respected for their intelligence and physical strength.
Some women look at it as “ego.”
Hey ladies, if all it takes for him to be the kingdom man you want is to respect his intelligence and physical strength and boost his ego from time to time? Please, by all means, do it!
You may also like – 12 Best Secrets to a long-lasting relationship.
♥ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. – Ephesians 5:33 NIV
“I love you not only for what you are but for what I am when I am with you.” – Roy Croft
♥“Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” – Proverbs 31:11-12 NLT
♥“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” – Proverbs 31:26-27 NIV
“Compassion is like a mother giving love to her children. Mother’s ways are higher than others, even when everyone rejects, mother accepts with her arms open and wide.” -Amit Ray
“When I am frustrated with my husband and feel like giving up on us, I have two choices. One: I can choose love and work on my marriage or, two: I can choose to love and work on my marriage.” -Darlene Schacht
“For our home to be a refuge it needs to be a place where love, compassion, and patience prevail.” – Allan Lokos, Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living
Encouragement
♥ Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
♥ Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? – Ecclesiastes 4:11
♥“You don’t fall into love. You commit to it. Love is saying ‘I will be there no matter what.’” -Tim Keller
♥ So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.– 1 Thessalonians 5:11
♥For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them. – Matthew 18:20
♥ As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
– Proverbs 27:17
♥“Conflicts are not a sign you’ve married the wrong person. They simply affirm you are human.” -Dr. Gary Chapman
Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. – Hebrews 10:24-25
“Your mind is the only thing you can control exclusively. Don’t give it away too freely through useless arguments.” – Napoleon Hill
“Excellence is the best deterrent to racism or sexism.” – Oprah Winfrey
♥“Love is supposed to be based on trust, and trust on love, it’s something rare and beautiful when people can confide in each other without fearing what the other person will think.” – E.A. Bucchianeri
“And now these three remain faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” -1 Corinthians 13:13
Do you have a favorite quote you would like to share? Please let me know in the comments.
Please don’t forget to share! Get your free printable version of quotes below.
Sending lots of Blessings, Love & Positivity your Way…………♥
Toxic relationships exist and they are dangerous for your physical and mental health and wellbeing.
Have you ever wondered if your relationship is toxic to your overall wellbeing?
Are you beginning to feel things are not the way they are supposed to be in your relationship?
Maybe you are beginning to feel like you deserve better!
Many times, toxic relationships are hard to identify, but it’s also easy to identify behaviors that are blatantly out of line.
You may be asking: how can I make my relationship strong? Here are 16 ways to make your relationship stay strong.
Rainie Howard offers ways of escape in this resource; Addicted To Pain: Renew Your Mind & Heal Your Spirit From A Toxic Relationship In 30 Days.
Why is it so hard to leave an abusive relationship? Why is it so hard to move on?
In this article, we are going to show you some signs that signal an unhealthy and toxic relationship.
Many of us have gotten ourselves into situationships!
Quite frankly we often tend to stay in these relationships even when we know that we’re getting all the red flags to leave or demand changes.
Not only that, but we also continue to allow others to step on our hearts and feelings when we have the choice to leave.
According to John Mark Green; “Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.”
I get it, sometimes it’s confusing because you find yourself in a love-hate relationship.
Toxic people give you hopeful moments of happiness and moments of unexplainable deep stress and distress.
And you think that is the ideal way love is supposed to be, but it’s not at all.
Sadly though, many times before we get our Moses, we have to go through a couple of the Pharaohs.
No one can boast of a perfect relationship, in the personal or the business sphere.
But “The wrong person will give you less than what you’re worth, but that doesn’t mean that you have to accept it.” – Sonya Parker.
According to Ginnie Love Thompson, Ph.D., a Florida based Psychotherapist, “Every single relationship has a level of abuse. Nothing is perfect – there’s always some work to be done.”
For the most part, a good relationship should make you feel secure, special, happy, cared for, respected, and free to be yourself.
My friends, true love will never leave you feeling empty, drained, depleted and distraught.
And if for any reason you do? Then you’re in a toxic relationship.
A California – based communication and psychology expert, coined the term in her book Toxic People, defined a toxic relationship as “any relationship (between people who) don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s disrespect and lack of cohesiveness.”
Let me tell you a couple of ways to identify if you’re in an unhealthy toxic relationship.
If any of these sound familiar, it’s time to make some big changes.
“Don’t settle for a relationship that won’t let you be yourself.” – Oprah Winfrey
The first sign of a toxic relationship is Confusion.
As God’s word says, “God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.” (1 Corinthians 14:33).
It is always good and very important to pay close attention to identify if the person you are in a relationship with is bringing clarity or confusion to your life.
When a person continues to give you less effort and is also showing signs that he/she doesn’t want to “get serious” about a relationship, then they are most likely wasting your time.
They expect much and give little. They feel entitled and act like they are doing you a favor.
If you don’t know where you stand with someone in a relationship, then you should let that person go.
Trust me, also believe that there is always someone out there who will not leave you confused.
The second sign of an unhealthy relationship is Dishonesty
If your partner is constantly lying to you, you are discovering little lies here and there, telling a partial truth, or doesn’t even communicate his/her whereabouts, these are all big red flags.
When you are in a relationship or dating, you should know that HONESTY is the first sign of loyalty.
Honesty breeds TRUST over time in a relationship.
Always consider if the person you are with is honest about EVERYTHING.
Most toxic people don’t follow through on their promises. They are “sweet and smooth talkers.”
They say one thing to make you happy this one moment and then revert to their old ways.
Rachel Sussman, LCSW, a marriage and family therapist in New York, says “There’s the constant push and pull.”
Every dishonest gesture between partners undercuts a little bit of the relationship.
The third sign of a toxic relationship is fairly easy to identify.
No Commitment – If the person you are with doesn’t want anyone to know they’re dating you, then you’re pretty much a secret and he/she is liable to do anything.
They don’t talk about the future after you’ve been together for some months or they are comparing you with their past relationships.
They are not committed, period! And that’s a BIG red flag.
No, they don’t have to post you on social media 20x a day, but it should be made known that they are in a relationship with you.
Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t always guarantee that they will be faithful, but it does give clarity that they can potentially be honest.
It shows they value you as a person.
Dr. Clinton McLemore― a leading expert on interpersonal relationships― gives you a powerful roadmap for promoting healthy and productive relationships and how to have some value for your relationship.
You may already know this, but if your partner is DISRESPECTFUL, this can be a huge red flag.
Being disrespected in a relationship causes much emotional confusion and distress.
Mutual respect fosters individual growth and development.
Lack of respect messes with your image and gives you a sense of insecurity about yourself.
Lack of respect does not bring out the best of you.
In fact, it makes you not feel like yourself around them.
You see, when a man/woman tells you very hurtful things, those things don’t just go away, they stay grounded in your heart for some time.
Better to be with someone that will build you up, even when you don’t feel or look your best.
Here’s one that most people don’t take into much consideration – Uneasy Feeling.
Follow your intuition, if you feel like something is off or you are feeling any type of anxiety and fear in a relationship or anything in general.
Listen to that small voice!
Most times our inner selves will tell us the truth before it surfaces.
I think, a lot of times, most of us know when something is off, but we choose to find out the hard way.
Listen to that small voice in your head. God will never lead you wrong.
A sixth Sign that you’re probably in an unhealthy relationship would be a Lack Of Change In Behavior.
Let me give you an example, if a person constantly does the same thing over and over without changing.
And he/she knows that it bothers you, then they clearly don’t care about fixing the problem, or making you happy.
A person can apologize, but if their actions don’t match, then something is not adding up.
When they are wrong, they try to rationalize their behavior or blame others for it.
True Repentance should come with a change, they say!
Dependence would definitely be another sign of an unhealthy relationship.
Do not get me wrong, it is okay to take care of your partner.
But when taking care of your partner becomes a full-time job and they are not putting in the same effort, then you are basically dealing with a child with all related stresses.
Do not sacrifice your time and efforts on a selfish and self-centered person.
By all means, don’t.
Some people will be in a relationship with you just because it’s beneficial for them, while the whole time you could be losing out on an amazing partner who will give you the world and more.
Don’t settle for someone who is full of excuses as to why they are not where they are supposed to be because anyone can support themselves if they are willing.
Now I think it’s time we get on the topic of Abuse; another sign of signs of a toxic relationship.
There is more than one kind of abuse. There’s physical abuse, mental abuse, and narcissistic abuse.
If you’ve ever encountered any of these types of abuse, I just want to let you know that you are worth so much more!
Mental abuse is the first sign of these 3. Why?
Because once you allow a person to abuse you mentally – control your mind -which can be verbal – arguing, disrespect, or just their actions, this will eventually lead to physical abuse.
Sometimes people hide what they really feel behind words and hidden agendas until they get comfortable enough to abuse you physically.
Physical abuse could lead to death. No, I am not being dramatic.
If you are in a relationship where you are getting abused, at what point do you think the abuse will end and at what point do you think this person will stop?
There’s never an excuse for abusive behavior, especially when it comes to love in a relationship.
Love is the strongest drug and if you are with a person who is seriously in love with you, but abuses you, at no point does that make it right?
None, for neither of you!
Leave that relationship as quickly as possible, especially when you are not yet married.
Lastly, Narcissistic abuse is the most underrated type of abuse out there.
This is the silent abuse.
This is where the person will have you thinking you’re doing everything wrong in the world, but you’re doing everything you possibly can to the best of your ability.
They mess with your mind. You can’t impress them.
“Beware of narcissistic people. They’ll tell everyone you’re crazy, only to cover up their trickery. ” ― Mitta Xinindlu
“Narcissists are very retaliative if they believe another has achieved what they desire, exposed their insecurities, or refused to be under their control.” — Lorraine Nilon
I think most people have gotten a piece of this kind of abuse.
Not only because it’s so easy to miss, but also because it plays with your mind in so many ways, and most importantly it is a disorder.
Trust me it is very torturing.
Here’s a couple of signs that you’re in a narcissistic relationship:
You have low self-esteem, you feel as though you’re going crazy, you become depressed or anxious.
Nothing you do is ever good enough.
When you try to leave they pull you back in, their attitude towards you changes rapidly.
Guys, this is only a couple ways a narcissist abuses you and I think it is the most horrible of them all.
Beware of these toxic relationships! They are very hard to recover from. Not impossible, but hard!
Now that we’ve discussed the different types of abuse in a relationship, we should move forward with other signs that indicate you’re in an unhealthy relationship.
Which brings me to Control.
If you are dating someone who seems to be very controlling you should be careful, controlling people want you to do exactly as they say or else… and this is not a safe place to be.
When you’re in a relationship, it should be equal, even though a man is dominant over the woman he should never make you feel as though you don’t have a choice or a voice.
You should still be entitled to do what you want and have some sense of independence as long as it isn’t disrespectful towards your relationship.
One thing we all ignore is our Own Comfort in a relationship.
If you don’t feel comfortable without makeup or wigs, etc, then you aren’t with your soulmate,
You see real true love should not be identified by how good your makeup looks, or how laid your hair is,
but when you can wake up barefaced, and 100% natural, you’ve found someone that accepts you for you!
Don’t ever change your image to be with someone.
Beware of the person you’re with is charming when they want to be, real love should always be present, not just sometimes.
Real love is Unconditional. It shouldn’t be based on performance.
If they are more charming to everyone else than you, then you probably have yourself a cheater.
Never stay with someone if they make you feel ignored and invisible.
In a toxic relationship, nothing gets resolved.
Most discussions end in arguments. There’s zero tolerance and accommodation for the other person’s feelings.
They always assume the worst of the other person.
It is one thing to say you’re in a relationship with someone that you’re uncertain about,
but it is a completely different thing to be with someone who doesn’t even give you the attention you deserve.
Trust me, someone who really wants to be with you will not make you feel ignored or left out.
They will always make time and always check-in, busy or not.
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church.
Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:22-25.
This is a clear biblical representation of how God intends for us to love each other in a marriage relationship.
God did not intend for us to be in relationships where our hearts are being abused, our love is taken for granted, and our images distorted.
That’s not biblical!
That is what the devil wants. Satan wants us to be abused and broken, but God wants us to be loved and made whole.
The word “perfect” in 1 John 4:18 means “complete” or “mature,” and the love that is referred to is God’s, selfless agape love.
An unconditional love that is not based on performance.
This is the type of love that should exist in every relationship.
It’s sacrificial love – bearing one another.
At no point should we doubt that unhealthy relationships are all that God has in His plan for our love lives.
God wants the best for each and every one of us, and I think we should want the best for ourselves as well.
If we stop settling for less, God will truly give us a Kingdom man/woman.
Pastor Joel Osteen once said that everything you need to be happy is in you.
Happiness is a choice and should not be dependent on somebody else.
“The hardest part of being in an emotionally abusive relationship, it’s actually admitting you’re in one.” – Anna Akana
When you are with someone who persistently makes you unhappy, suffocates those precious parts of you, makes you feel lesser than who you are,
you must be alive with your eyes wide open to the damage they are doing.
You owe them nothing, you owe yourself everything.
Everyone deserves to thrive, to feel no intimidation, and to feel safe, and you deserve to be happy in your relationship.
Don’t allow yourself to be in toxic relationships.
You should be able to identify signs that indicate that a relationship may have become, or always was, toxic.
Sometimes you just have to learn how to be alone and patiently wait for true love to find you or vice versa – Most of the time when you least expected it.
Soulmates are real, and you will be at peace when your true soul mate comes into your life.
If you know how much God loves you unconditionally, then you will know how much he cares about your situation.
Lastly, are you:
Currently, trying to get over a heartbreak?
Are you trapped in a toxic relationship?
Do you desire to leave a toxic relationship?
It is possible!
When you have tried all you can, you just have to make up your mind and heart that you will not accept that anymore.
With prayer, self-care, people that care, and self-love, you will overcome any phase you are going through.
Sometimes telling yourself that; I’m going to stay positive,
Believing that God created us with a great destiny, and
conditioning our minds to rely on God’s plan,
We feel better, we attract better, and we are living again.
Don’t get so consumed in an unhealthy relationship until it starts to affect your mental health.
It’s like a low-grade fever that may eventually evolve into a high fever.
When you really stop and think about it, a toxic relationship brings about some levels of fear and anxiety.
These could lead to depression and feelings of hopelessness.
12 best secrets to a long-lasting relationship will help you to identify the good attributes of a healthy relationship.
It’s not too late to let go and start new. All you have to do is try.
“The broken heart will heal and you will have peace like never before.”
― Tracy A. Malone
The best is yet to come.
Wishing you all the best in your relationships and sending tons of love and positivity your way!
Blessings……..
Time spent on the phone can be impacting your relationship negatively. Your marriage or relationship is worth unplugging your phone.
A few questions come to mind when you think about the downside of always staying “connected.”
Is it possible that your social media interactions are affecting the quality of your relationships?
Can a cell phone detox help your marriage?
Can social media detox help your relationship?
It’s very likely most relationships can seriously benefit from a digital detox.
How to Digitally Detox Your Relationship: 12
Effective Ways.
Many married couples admit to being physically present in a room with no communication or interaction whatsoever going on.
Instead, they are engulfed on their laptops or scrolling through their smartphones or tablets.
It’s easy to understand the importance of digital detox and the benefit of stepping away from our phones.
How To Digitally Detox Your Marriage: 12 Effective Ways will help you not only decide to detox, but to stick with your decision long-term.
It will help you learn how to make your digital detox sustainable in your daily life.
What is a digital detox, one may ask?
A digital detox is about having a predetermined period of time when you and your partner don’t access the Internet, use technology or go online.
An intermittent digital detox will not only be beneficial in your relationship with your partner, but also with God.
How many times have you tried to hurry through devotion or time with God so that you can check your social media page?
Most of us would agree that we probably need a digital detox. We can see how social media, phones, texting, and screens steal our moments with our partners and divert our attention.
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It’s been reported that the average adult spends about 11 hours on screens and media. We grudgingly acknowledge that we spend too much time on our phones and tablets,
and we know that it would be a good idea to put our phones down for a while; we may even start off on a digital detox challenge.
Turning off social media and promising you will not use your phone for a week seems simple enough.
But as the digital detox challenge progresses, we often get tripped up by one of two things.
First, we trip up because we did not change our thinking.
Second, we fail the challenge because we did not put in place other tools to replace the tools we rely on our phones.
Keep reading for a treasure trove of practical tips, effective ideas, and mental shifts that will help you digitally detox your marriage.
#1. Start Small
To prepare yourself for your digital detox challenge, start small.
For example, have “phone-free zones” in the house, sacred spaces where family members can be themselves and enjoy one another for who they are without the danger of being captured and broadcasted all over the social media world.
Another way to start small is to have a “bedtime” and a docking station for your phone. At a certain time, have everyone in the family put their phones to “bed” at a certain place. Enjoy the rest of the evening talking, reading, and winding down for the night.
#2. Social Media Fast
Another way you can start small is to have social media fast.
Let’s go over just a few reasons to quit social media for a while.
First, social media causes stress.
The anxiety of comparison, of waiting to see if you are approved, and of worrying about what others think can weigh you down and invade every thought.
We begin to filter every experience through the question, “How would this look on social media?”
This is stressful!
Second, social media tempts you to argue.
God’s word says, “The Lord’s slave must not quarrel, but must be gentle to everyone, able to teach, and patient.” – 2 Timothy 2:24.
Social media presents a strong temptation to join in with the bickering, arguing, and fighting that goes on constantly on political, social, and theological issues.
Stepping back helps you honor the Lord.
Try being off social media for a day at a time at first. Later, you can lengthen the time you stay off media.
#3. Implement The Replacement Principle
If you were about to get rid of your car, you would need to research bus routes, buy bus tickets, find stores within walking distance, or buy a bicycle.
In the same way, before you launch into a longer social media fast or digital detox challenge, you’ll need to collect the tools that will help you accomplish the things that you previously relied on your phone to accomplish for you.
Do you use your phone as a camera, map, telephone, radio, or internet browser?
For most, they use their phones and gadgets as their ultimate machine for listening and streaming music.
Then you’ll need to have other tools in place to accomplish those goals.
Many people end up justifying or making excuses for the use of their phone during a detox: “Well, I just need my phone to take a quick picture,” or, “I need to quickly lookup something on Google.”
Replacing these functions with other tools is an important key to making your detox a success.
To start with, make sure you have access to a computer with a browser, Google, and the Internet.
You might choose to go to the library to use the computer to avoid being unnecessarily distracted.
If you’re going completely screen-free, make sure to get an encyclopedia, dictionary, and a phone book!
Second, you’ll need a point and shoot camera. You can get creative with polaroid, film, or digital.
Further, make sure your house phone – is in working order and that you can get an email on your computer.
You may want to dig out or purchase a CD player or radio so you can have music.
How about a map? Google maps on your computer is a great tool, and you can print the instructions or write them down on a piece of paper.
However, a paper road map will come in handy, especially on long trips.
Finally, make sure to acquire a daily planner or a wall calendar to keep track of your appointments and dates.
With these tools in hand, you will be ready to go!
#4. Just Put Away Your Phone
Just do it. Put the phone AWAY!
You can even lock it up in a lockbox and give your spouse the key!
This is the simplest step—and the hardest—as you digitally detox your marriage. It’s not easy, but you can do it!
#5. Increase Your Focus
Now that your phone is put away, you will begin to experience some encouraging mental shifts.
First, you will gain more focus as you stop dividing your attention.
Phones have a tendency to be a ubiquitous cause of split focus.
We listen to our partner talking while scrolling through our social media feeds, our attention divided.
Our face is turned away from them when they are talking to us, not really focusing on what they are communicating.
Throughout the Bible, hiding and turning away your face is a sign of rejection or anger.
For example, in Psalm 27:9, the psalmist begs, “Do not hide Your face from me; do not turn Your servant away in anger.
You have been my helper; do not leave me or abandon me.”
When you turn your face away from your spouse and towards your phone, your spouse may perceive your divided focus as rejection.
The book, 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You, admonishes, “Dividing attention is a typical expression of disdain.”
Steve Call’s book, Reconnect, affirms that gaze aversion and ignoring your spouse create a strong sense of disconnection.
Now that your phone is out of the picture, it may feel uncomfortable to not be able to hide in your phone.
Rather than running to other hobbies or solitary ambitions, make it a point to spend time with your spouse, look them in the eye, listen to them talk, and treasure their presence.
Take this opportunity to intentionally turn towards your spouse.
#6. Mental Margin
Another benefit of a digital detox challenge is the increased space in your mind. A mental margin is an important ingredient for creativity.
For example, Isaac Newton discovered gravity while he was in quarantine.
Why? Because he had mental space and time to breathe, ponder, think–and yes, be bored.
Although boredom can create a terrifying silence, try to think of it in a positive light.
Give yourself time to breathe and think and just be; give yourself some margin
#7. Create Real Memories
Be present with your spouse in real-life moments.
Tony Reinke says that “the richest memories in life are better ‘captured’ by our full sensory awareness at the moment—then later written down in a journal.”
You don’t need your phone or your Instagram profile to truly enjoy the sunset, the restaurant, or the tourist attraction; you don’t need the “likes,” comments, and shares to show you that your experience with your spouse is valuable.
Instead, look your spouse in the eyes, hold their hands, and turn to God in a prayer of thanksgiving for the water lapping on your feet, the gentle air caressing your cheek, and the presence of your loving spouse.
Write a descriptive paragraph about what you saw, felt, heard, smelled, and tasted.
Record the moment just for yourself, your spouse, and God.
Treasure a moment that doesn’t need to be photographed and shared.
#8. Create Meaningful Art
In his book, 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You, Tony Reinke said that art is “deep, thoughtful, original reflections that emerge from the place where creation and biblical truth meet your life and worship.”
As you digitally detox your marriage and step away from your phone, you will have much more time to think and ponder life.
Creative juices will begin to flow.
Make sure to express that creativity in art, music, writing, poetry, or other venues.
As an added benefit, use that creativity to show love and honor to your spouse.
#9. Remember What God Has Done.
A key theme throughout the Biblical narrative is that of remembering.
Psalm 103 begs us not to forget all the good things God has done.
Deuteronomy 8:11 is a plaintive plea to remember God, even when your life is full of good things and sensuous enjoyment.
In Hebrews 13:3 and Colossians 4:18, God tells us to remember those who are suffering for Christ.
Deuteronomy 8:1 tells us to remember his guidance and the way he tests us and shows us his character.
In other words, one of the most important functions of our God-given minds is remembering our Lord.
Digital media is designed to mold and shape the way we remember, think, and desire.
Facebook reminds us of birthdays, photos we posted three years ago, and posts that were well-received last year on this date.
It reminds us of the friends that it believes we love the most. Incessantly, Facebook reminds us that it “cares” about us.
Now that you have decided to quit social media for a while, you are free to form your own memories and shape your mind according to your own values and desires.
Make a list of the most important dates that you would like to recall: birthdays, anniversaries, and meaningful occasions.
Journal about things you are thankful for and ways that God has answered prayer so that you can look back later and remember on your very own, precious memories.
#10. Choose Your Own Path
Social media gurus and online sales technicians are working overtime to direct your train of thought, your purchases, your thought patterns, your memories, and your mind.
As you choose to let go of your phone and the online world for a while, enjoy the freedom of choosing your own path. Think your own thoughts, ponder your own ideas, and interact with your own choice of people.
#11. Turn OFF Notifications
Consciously disable or pause notifications for text messages, WhatsApp, Instagram, FB for a chosen amount of hours. You can choose between 6-8 hours, not just 1-2 hours.
#12. Out of Love and Respect
Love and respect are the basics of marriage. Respect is an important sustaining force of any relationship and should be reciprocal.
Every partner interested in the happiness and longevity of their relationship should care enough to know when to unplug the phone.
Caution; sometimes you can’t turn everything off completely if you are the first responder to your spouse, children, or parents. You get the idea though, RIGHT?
The main point here is to be wise and to not allow the digital craze to creep in as a Satan and mess up your relationships.
Just placing a curfew on your devices, say after a certain time when everyone is home or in a safe place can be beneficial to your overall relationships.
As you put these tips into practice, you will discover a life that is infinitely richer and more beautiful than the life behind a screen could ever be.
You will likely come away refreshed and ready to engage the online world in a more intentional way.
If you enjoyed the detoxed lifestyle, you may even decide you don’t want to go back!
No matter what digital choices you make going forward, make sure to never stop enjoying new memories with your partner, looking into people’s eyes, and listening deeply to what they are saying.
Never forget to think your own thoughts and spend time with the Lord, one-on-one. He is the one who will help you make careful, intentional choices and live your life with purpose as you digitally detox your marriage.
Have you had a digital detox before? If so, how was it? Please leave your comments below. I’m sure someone will be blessed by your comments.
As always, I’m sending lots of love, positivity & blessings your way………..♥
How Do I Make My Relationship Stay Strong – 16 Ways
How Do I Make My Relationship Stay Strong – 16 WaysIs this article on ‘how do I make my relationship stay strong a marriage evaluation toolkit? What does that mean?
You are about to find out!
What season is your marriage in? Find out here.
You may have seen the catch phrase, “It’s the small moments that make life big,” plastered in a sentimental scrapbook or posted beside a baby photo on social media.
But have you ever taken the time to think carefully about the truth behind this statement?
We often work, labor, and stress to achieve the great moments: a vacation, a college degree, or a great milestone.
But we don’t often take the time to realize that each and everyday experience with our friends, spouses, and children are the stuff of life.
It takes more than just love to keep any relationship, especially a marriage relationship, strong and healthy.
Without the little gestures and consistent, persistent prayers, the big achievements will have no significance.
Click here for the enchanted 4-sentence prayer can give you boundless blessings in 7 days! Transformational!
Be spontaneous. Avoid being predictable.
Here are some small steps and gestures you can try every day and often to show your spouse that you love them.
These small gestures can save your marriage relationship.
They are simple and practicable.
Moreover, these gestures don’t take a lot of time or money.
Some of them will take just a second or two of your time.
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But above all, they can have a monumental effect on bonding you and your spouse together.
Your marriage relationship can stay strong, happy and healthy with these 16 proven tips.
1. Smile
Dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin are all released when you smile.
A smile can have a powerful effect on your happiness and on your marriage relationship.
In the morning, for instance, always say “Good Morning” with a smile.
“Good or Great Morning Blessings” sound even better.
Say hello with a smile when you greet each other when you come home.
It’s a way to show you missed them, and you are happy to see them.
One source says that more feel-good chemicals are released from a single smile than when receiving a large sum of money.
Therefore, give your partner a simple smile.
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It’s simple, painless, and a free way to improve your quality of life and your marriage relationship.
Show that you are truly happy to see him or her.
Take the time to smile. It’s one of the small gestures that matter.
2. Say Thank You
A married couple with nearly forty years of experience shares that one of the most meaningful small things/gestures in their marriage was thankfulness.
The husband thanked his wife for daily chores and small tasks she performed for the family.
Daily, he thanked her for the delicious meals she created.
By example, he taught their children to cultivate a habit of thankfulness.
Saying thank you is another example of small things that make a big difference in any relationship.
Often we get too comfortable in a marriage relationship and start taking small things like saying thank you or showing gratitude for granted.
3. Ask Questions
Engage your spouse in meaningful conversations.
Show you care by asking about their day.
Do a simple online search for conversation starters for couples, then bring those questions into your daily life.
Don’t just rotate in the same ruts that you’ve always used.
Try to bring in new topics of conversation and learn something new about your spouse every day.
4. Surprise Your Spouse
Think of little things that will brighten your spouse’s day.
Pack a special food item in your spouse’s lunch box or show up at his or her work with chocolates or flowers.
Why not try tucking a love note into a lunch box, in a drawer, under a pillow, or even in your spouse’s shoes?
Listen to your spouse’s conversation and try to tune in to the small nuances that provide clues to the things they like and dislike.
Then surprise them with a small gift “just because.”
It will bring a smile to your loved one’s face and help sustain your marriage relationship.
5. Love Texts Can transform a marriage relationship
Sometimes the most powerful small things include showing that someone remembers you.
Show your spouse you are thinking of him or her by sending him a love note or prayer by text!
Send him or her a message during the day, letting them know you are thinking of them and praying for them.
Remember the events that your spouse has scheduled for the day and ask how those things are going.
Colossians 3:12 says, “Clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”
Showing your partner you are thinking of him or her is a way to demonstrate kindness and gentleness to one another.
6. Simple Touch
Simple touch means a brief, playful touch that brings connection.
Pat their shoulder, caress their hair, do a special handshake, or give a brief kiss or hug.
Do these rituals every day to enrich your life and your marriage.
Reach out and make the first move.
Show your spouse you care and want to connect.
Show you care. Every touch shouldn’t be for sex.
7. Create Daily Rituals
Every relationship should have rhythms and patterns of connection. These patterns lend stability to relationships.
Check in every morning over coffee. Hold hands and pray. Call each other at lunch time and check in.
Have special and specific times off social media and other devices. This is big one these days!
Take time each week to go over that week’s schedule and pray together over your week.
Daily bible based devotions together are great!!
A family that prays together stays together, they say.
Doing your rituals on a regular, recurring basis will help you and your spouse feel safe.
Becky Bailey calls these rituals of connection, “I Love You Rituals.”
She says that I Love You Rituals contain four ingredients: playfulness, simple touch, presence, and gentle eye contact.
While most of her I Love You Rituals are geared for adults connecting with children, partners can similarly incorporate the same principles into their interactions with one another.
Are you truly present with your spouse during that quick kiss?
Do you touch them gently, look fondly into their eyes, and express playfulness and joy?
It’s the little things that matter.
8. Respond to Your Spouse’s “Bids”
Steve Call says that couples are constantly sending out “bids” for attention.
Like a slight nose-scratch or cough from a bidder at an auction, some of these bids are subtle and hard to notice.
Nonetheless, spouses are constantly asking one another for connection in small ways.
It’s important to notice and respond positively to your spouse’s bid for attention.
If they hint at going out to eat, taking a walk, chatting about the day, or playing a board game, make sure you don’t brush off this small invitation.
Notice their “bid” for attention and respond with kindness.
If you’re not available right then, then make sure you schedule another time when the two of you could connect.
If you make a habit of dismissing or ignoring your spouse’s bids, she or he may stop asking, and your relationship will suffer.
9. Give Them Wildflowers
How about finding a small bouquet of lovely sweet peas, daisies, trumpet vine, or daffodils?
Wildflowers are a small but significant way to add beauty and love to your spouse’s life.
Even if not expensive, a small gesture like this shows your spouse that you took time and effort to show them that you love them.
Wildflowers is another example of small things that matter.
What are other things you think you can do to strengthen your marriage relationship?
10. Say “I Love You.”
Sometimes we assume that others know that we love them. But the words matter.
Many songs have been written on the importance of verbalizing our love.
Sometimes, we realize too late that we should have been more diligent about speaking love out loud.
Ron Hamilton’s song reminds us, “Life is but a vapor, quickly vanishing away. Wait until tomorrow, and your change may flee away.
Give a fragrant flower while its beauty still can charm. Give a kiss to warm the longing heart.
Say ‘I love you’ while the heart can feel. Say ‘I love you’ while the heat can heal.
Make a heart rejoice, give your love a voice. Speak the words while you can say ‘I love you.”
Unconditional love should be expressed every day.
11. Be a Good Listener
Proverbs 18:13 says, “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”
Take time to really hear what your spouse is saying to you.
Be an empathetic listener.
Give them your full attention, make eye contact, nod, and ask clarifying questions.
Assure your spouse that they are important to you by listening to what they are sharing with you—even if it seems trivial.
Don’t be quick to provide solutions. Often your partner just wants you to listen.
12. Don’t Go To Asleep Angry.
In Ephesians 4, Paul puts limits on our anger. While anger is a powerful force that can sometimes be used for good, it has potential for great harm.
In this passage, Paul helps us understand helpful boundaries for our anger.
Ephesians 4:26 says, “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”
In other words, we are permitted to experience the energy of anger that helps mobilize us to do something about an unjust situation we care deeply about.
But God puts a 24-hour time limit on anger.
We are not allowed to sin in our anger through gossip, hatred, slander, selfishness, or revenge.
We are also not allowed to hang onto it for long.
Anger always morphs into something selfish and destructive.
God encourages people to deal with their anger before the sun goes down, so we do not carry it with us into the next day.
Sometimes, it’s not wise to talk about conflicts before you go to bed, since both of you may be stressed, exhausted, and in need of sleep.
However, aim to talk through your situation in that 24-hour window.
Seek peace and reconciliation as soon as possible.
Forgive, and don’t hold onto your anger.
13. Be An Encourager in your marriage relationship
Hebrews 3:13 says, “But encourage one another every day, while it is called today, so that not one of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”
Life can be intensely discouraging, so don’t take for granted the importance of your encouragement to your spouse.
Your words of comfort and hope can make the difference between hope and despair.
If you are running dry on encouraging things to say, just do a simple online search for encouraging quotes and words of encouragement for a spouse.
Then use them! Don’t miss a day!
14. Don’t assume anything in your marriage relationship
Mike Bechtle wrote the following commentary on the importance of not making assumptions:
“Someone said, ‘In the absence of data, we tend to make things up.’
That’s why it’s important to keep talking about hard issues. If we don’t, we won’t know what the other person is thinking.
So we start believing our made-up perspectives, imagining things that aren’t there and assuming they’re true.”
Seek to always ask questions, clarify conversations first, and believe the best.
Moreover, never assume you know what your spouse is thinking or what their motivations are.
Always ask! Don’t be a mind reader.
15. Spend Time Together, but also Spend Time Alone
Sherry Turkle, in her excellent book, Reclaiming The Conversation: the Power of Talk in a Digital Age, said, “Loneliness is painful, emotionally and even physically, born from a want of intimacy” when we need it most, in early childhood. Solitude—the capacity to be contentedly and constructively alone—is built from successful human connection at just that time.”
Avoid loneliness by prioritizing your spouse and making sure they feel loved, cared for, and listened to.
Go on dates and prioritize one-on-one conversations away from children.
You can use this couple’s love journal to reignite and deepen your relationship.
But also, prioritize time alone. This should be a priority in your marriage.
Give your spouse space for solitude—quiet time to commune with their thoughts and with God.
Similarly, have a healthy balance between alone time and together time.
16. Accept Each Other
Romans 15:5-7 provides a beautiful vision of the church that can also be applied to marriage.
“Now may the God who gives endurance and encouragement grant you harmony with one another in Christ Jesus, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring glory to God.”
God, therefore, encourages us to see a vision of oneness, harmony, and unity. Praise to God.
However, in order to reach that point, we must accept one another.
Your spouse may have a different personality than you do, for instance.
He may have different likes or dislikes. She may also have quirks.
But successful marriages must be based on unconditional love and acceptance.